by DAVE PAYNE SR.

Ich vergesse meines Deutsch.
In German, that means "I've forgotten my German."
I spent five years studying the language in school and a semester living in Austria. However, I've not had a chance to use it since I left Europe four years ago.
So I thought I would brush up on the language by visiting an internet forum of a flyfishing club based in northern Germany. One of the topics being discussed was catch and release. Releasing fish after they are caught instead of killing them is an American idea, evidenced by the fact Germans call it Catch und Release. 
I asked the club's president, whom I will call Erwin Bachforelle, how the practice is viewed in Germany.
"Catch und Release ist verboten," he said.
Anyone who has watched at least one episode of "Hogan's Heroes" knows what verboten means- forbidden. I'll translate the rest of the conversation.
"Unfortunately, catch and release is outlawed by the government,  but the trout want to live and therefore I do not keep each fish," Bachforelle said
Today, many German anglers defy the bizarre law and are releasing many of the fish they catch, Bachforelle said. Their love of their quarry supercedes the respect for authority ingrained into every German soul. 
"(Trout) belong back in the water, that should be clear to everyone. Trout are not only for catching, but also to be admired and loved for their beauty," one club member said.. 
Bachforelle said the German "Oekospinner," which literally means "ecologist crackpots," are to blame for the senseless law. Evidently, the logic behind the sick, twisted laws they pass is that if they force fishermen to bash in the brains of each fish caught, they can ward off anglers like me who love fish more than their sport.
Aristophanes wrote about a place where such laws originate- "Cloud Cuckoo Town."  
"The Oekospinner want our sport to die. We envy your liberty (in America) with protecting your fishery,"  Bachforelle said.
In America, we are free from such laws which infringe on our God-given rights. We are also free to say such laws are what they are- mindless, bogus and evil- without fear of government reprisal. 
American Oekospinner organizations, like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, write letters to high schools demanding they cancel flyfishing trips and we laugh. 
Instead of writing letters, German Oekospinner write laws. 
In Germany, no one laughs.
Hunting and fishing in Europe is a privilege, subject to the whims of extremist governments. In America, it is a right bestowed on us by our founding fathers. In Europe, people own water. In America, only God does.
We Americans should be thankful for our freedoms, like releasing a brook trout into a limestone stream with impunity and catching it over and over again. The simplest of freedoms are often the most taken for granted, but remain the most precious.
Amerika, ich liebe dich.
That's German for "America, I love you."