(C) Copywritten 2005
����������� "They say he's been dead for about twelve hours or so,� Jimmy" the fat detective on the other side of the room said as he scribbled in his notebook. James approached the body, still lying in its twisted position on the floor next to the bed.
����������� Having endured two divorces, James Simpson often thought of his job as the only thing was ever really married to. With his twenty-third year on the force only months away, there wasn't much of anything that would turn his stomach anymore. Nevertheless, he took a minute to compose himself as he gazed at the corpse at his feet.
����������� "Well..." he began slowly, "this is certainly a holiday wrecker."
����������� His partner, the little fat detective with the notebook, took a moment to fill him in on the details. "We aren't sure where he got the pen from, since the people here are only allowed crayons under supervision, and any kind of supplies are kept in the office areas away from the patients."
����������� "Does our sightless friend here have a name?" James asked.
����������� "Victor White, age thirty seven. Committed a few months ago by family members after he almost burnt their house down" his partner replied, flipping through his notebook.
����������� James bent down to look closer at the body. The violent mess caked on the face was dark, sharing equal parts of blood from the wound and black ink from the pen. James began to cringe when he thought of coroners trying to pry that thing out of this poor man's head, with more than two thirds of it firmly lodged into position.
����������� Standing up, James began again "we have a doc or witness at all?"
����������� His partner flipped through his pages "uhhh, a doctor Christine Jackson. She's the doctor assigned to our friend here. She's waiting out in the hall."
����������� Simpson left the grizzly scene behind him and left the room. To his right he saw two doctors. The first was an older man, who stood tall with a look of stern seriousness in his face. While James was pushing forty something years old, this man looked older by far to him.
����������� The second doctor to his left was a younger woman with dark red hair tied in a ponytail. Her face was buried in her hand as she supported herself on the nearby wall.
����������� "Miss Jackson?" he started. She sniffed hard and tried to compose herself, bringing the tiny glasses in her other hand to her face.
����������� "Yes detective?" she answered. James looked her over. He could have mistaken her for a nurse at first, since she certainly fit the profile. Everything about her save for the flustered mess that her face was in seemed to suggest that this was every sick man's dream standing right in front of him: youth, beauty and brains all wrapped in under a white coat.
����������� "You knew the patient?" he began, crawling back into his cold, investigative shell.
����������� "Yes. I was assigned to Vic when he first came here."
����������� She pause, and James continued "go on."
����������� "He was one of our quieter patients. He kept to himself a lot. When he first came here, he was actually very friendly, but his brain just didn't operate like a mid-thirties office worker after his nervous breakdown."
����������� "So is their any reason why our shy-guy pencil pusher decided to permanently dot his own eye?"
����������� She paused for a moment. Maybe he had pushed her too hard. James knew, being where he was right now, that there wasn't going to be a simple answer. Sane people have a lot of reasons for suicide that don't make sense. The folks around this place might have had ten times more reasons. There wasn't any use wasting time beating around the bush.
����������� "Vic's mind had repressed to that of about a five year old ever since he had his breakdown. In the few months he was here, he also developed hallucinogenic tendencies. He would see and hear things that weren't there."
����������� James interrupted her, "that's an excellent report, doctor. You get an A. Now do you want to tell me why you think this man is lying there dead?"
����������� He had disarmed her. Stunned, she could only stutter out her thoughts slowly. "Normally, detective, if a patient shows signs of suicidal intentions, it's easy enough for us to spot. But Victor..." she paused. "He hardly ever spoke to anyone. I don't think he talked to anyone besides himself in the last month at all. All he did was sit in his room and mumble to himself. He'd hardly eat, and he wouldn't do any of the crafts we asked him to do."
����������� "Was there anyone here that had a grudge against him?"
����������� The doctor began again, still off guard. "The man killed himself, detective."
����������� "That doesn't mean someone in here may or may not have put him up to it." James was looking to earn his holiday bonus today--every cent of it.
����������� Christine stood firmly. "Grudges don't mean the same in here as they do out in the world, detective. A man can play checkers in here with someone he just got into a fight with the day before. You have to understand that. Victor didn't have enemies or friends. He was a loner."
����������� James and the doctor traded their stare for the longest time. Christine's frailty was replaced by a bold resolve, and James could see it.
����������� "Alright doc. If there is anything else you want to tell--"
����������� "Jimmy, I found something" a voice called out from the room. James turned back into the room as Christine followed.
����������� "What is it?" he answered.
����������� His partner had the covers of Victors bed pulled up and his mattress shifted out of position. In his hand he held a blue spiral notebook. "Looks like the man's a writer" the overweight cop joked as he passed it to James.
����������� James took the notebook into his hands. It looked used and old--the pages bent and torn in some cases. As he went to start flipping through it, something fell from the book. Not a page--something heavier. It had more bulk that James felt come free from the weight of the book as it made a soft metallic clank on the floor.
����������� James bent to pick it up. "Nice watch" he said as he retrieved it. "This belong to him?" he asked?
����������� Christine didn't answer. Her gaze was drawn both to the notebook and to the watch at the same time.
����������� "Doc?" he repeated?
����������� "What? Yes. That's--" she paused. "That's the notebook I gave to Victor when he first came here. He wasn't that responsive during our sessions, so I gave him that book to write in."
����������� "And the watch?"
����������� Christine thought for a minute. "I don't know. It's his watch, but I don't know how he got it in here. Patients aren't allowed jewelry of any kind."
����������� James looked at the watch. The bronzed armband was shiny and free of any visible aging. The glass on the face was cracked and the hands were stopped. "I guess half past nine was check out time was it?"
����������� Christine pierced his eyes with her gaze, and stormed out of the room. James looked after her. "Merry Christmas to you too" he said under his breath.
����������� "So what's the next move, Jimmy?"
����������� James sighed. "Well... let's see if our friend Victor here can tell us a little about himself." And he thumbed open the first page of the diary.
October 17th
***The first sentance is scribbled out in thick black ink***
The doctors have told me I need to write more than one sentence. I don't like writing. It takes too long and I don't know what to say. I'm not crazy. I'm NOT crazy. I never would have thought I would ever end up in a place like this. This place stinks. It smells bad.
October 19th
The doctor keeps telling me to write in my new diary. She says that if I am not going to talk to her in session, I can write down what I want to say here. She is nice. Her hair is nice and I like her smell. It smells better than my room. My room stinks just like the rest of this place.
I had mashed potatoes for dinner last night. I like mashed potatoes. They weren't as good as the stuff you get at a restaurant. They kind of tasted sloppy. But I ate them all up like they told me to. I'm not crazy. They said that if I ate all my potatoes and vegetables, I could have some jello. They don't give jello to a lot people here. They won't let the really loud people have any, but they will let me have it if I am good!
October 20th
I have to tell you what happened today. One of the other patients told me that they could fly! I didn't know human beings could fly. I want to fly too! He said he will fly out the window like a little birdy! I don't think the doctors will let him though. I wish I could fly out the window. I don't like being inside all the time.
The doctors won't let me see my family. I miss them a lot, but they say I have to get better. I don't think being in this place is making me feel better. I don't feel better.
October 21st
There was a scary mouse in my room last night. I yelled and screamed for it to go away, but it just kept running around under my bed. The doctors couldn't catch it either. As soon as they came in, the ran out the door. They didn't see it but I did. I saw him and I saw him run away. Nobody believed me. None of the doctors believed me. They must think I am really crazy now. I'm not crazy.
I wasn't allowed out of my room yesterday. They said I had to sit and think about lying about the mouse. I thought about it for a while on my bed, but I didn't want to think about him after that. I was scared.
The doctor brought me my lunch. Soup and crackers. It was hot. I like the doctor. She looks like mom. Mom had yellow hair though.
October 24th
I'm not crazy.
October 25th
I don't like writing. I don't know how to write. Why do I have to write more than one sentence? It's too hard.
Matt and his friend were playing chess today. I asked them if I could watch and they said I could. I like chess. I don't know how to play but I like to watch. Matt was winning a lot of the games. He kept jumping over the black pieces with his red ones and taking them off the board. I like chess.
I think there was another mouse in my room yesterday. I saw him run under my bed, but when I looked down there he was gone.
October 28th
I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like him. He's mean. I don't like him. He yells too loud. I couldn't help it. I tried to cover my nose and mouth, but I didn't. He kept yelling at me, telling me I was sick and that I was going to make him sick and die.
The doctor told me to be more careful and to use a tissue the next time. I said I was sorry, and she made him say he was sorry too for yelling at me. I don't like him.
November 1st
It is cold in here. It's cold and too dark.
Charlie told me today not to show my diary to anyone. He says that I should keep it all to myself. I like Charlie. He's funny. He makes me laugh. He tells me stories about when he used to go exploring in the forest. He would walk through the forest for days and days looking for birds and animals. I like Charlie's stories.
November 4th
The doctor was mad at me today. I told her I lost my diary like Charlie told me to, and she got mad. Charlie said she would get mad, so it's okay though.
Charlie is my new best friend. He and I are going to go to the forest when we get out of this place. He is going to show me all the trees and tell me all their names. I can't wait.
November 5th
I told the doctor what Charlie said to tell her. She wrote it all down and told me that I was doing good and that I was going to be better soon. Charlie told me not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. The doctor laughed too. I don't think she knew about the joke though.
I wanted to hear another story tonight, but Charlie wouldn't tell me one. I even offered him one of my apples, but he wouldn't take it. He said he wasn't hungry, like he always does. I want to know about the places he's been. I've never been to a desert or a forest. I want to know what those kind of places are like.
November 7th
It snowed today. I watched it outside my window. Charlie wasn't around. He missed it. I wondered where he was.
The doctor asked me to draw her a picture today. I didn't want to. She left the paper and crayons in my room all day and I didn't touch them. She doesn't know about my hiding place where I keep my diary. Charlie made me promise not to tell her.
November 9th
Charlie says he knows how to get outside. He asked me if I wanted to leave and go with him to all the places around the world he has been. I told him I did.
The doctor came to my room today after lunch and wanted to talk to me by myself. She said that they were going to be changing some things and that I would have to start taking these little pills. I don't like pills, and I'm not crazy.
The pills taste awful. They make my stomache hurt.
November 16th
I rote in my diary today. The doctor said I have to. I dont feel very good today either. Ive been sick for a long time. Im so hot.
November 20th
I found my diary and I wanted to write in it today. This is the first time I have written in it since I was sick. Everyone said I looked like I was dying. They said that when I was sleeping in the sick room, I looked like I was dead. I don't like feeling like I'm dead. It feels bad.
Charlie came to my room today. I was so happy to see him again. He told me he had been working on finding a way to the outside, and that he was waiting for me to get better so I could help him.
November 25th
I don't like the new sandwiches they have. They don't smell good. Charlie and I don't eat them anymore.
I was yelled at by one of the doctors for going through the door down the hall. Charlie asked me to see what was down there, even though we are not suppose to go down there. He yelled at me and told me to go back to my room. When I got there, Charlie was lying on my bed, laughing.
I'm not talking to Charlie any more today.
November 29th
I told the doctor about the mice I keep seeing. I think she actually believes me. She told me not to be afraid of them. I'm not crazy.
I want to go home. Charlie says that we will both get to go home soon. Maybe even time for Christmas. I wonder if I will have any presents this year.
December 1st
The doctor helped me put the star on the tree in the front room. The tree is small. Charlie says that there are bigger ones in the forests he's been in. I'd like to see the really big ones.
I had a stomach egg today. It hurt a lot, and the doctor told me that I should be eating more. I don't like the sandwiches though. I wish we could have mashed potatoes like we did before.
December 2nd
Derek came to see me today. I was so happy. He brought me a Christmas card. It said "Warmest holidays from your brother, Derek" I put it in my room. I wanted to introduce him to the doctor and Charlie, but they said I wasn't allowed. I hope I see Derek when I go home for Christmas.
I should go find Charlie and show him my card.
December 4th
I'm not crazy. I know someone took it. I didn't lose it. It was right on my table. I put it there right after Derek left. Who took my card? Why did they take my card? Charlie will know. I'll ask him who took it.
December 5th
I don't want to talk to Charlie anymore. He asked me to hurt one of the doctors. He said it was the only way to get home for Christmas. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm scared of Charlie now.
The doctor told me that I had to eat more again. I don't like their sandwiches. I just eat the soup and drink the water and pills.
December 9th
I think Charlie is going to hurt someone. I heard him talking to someone else when he didn't know I was around. He was saying that he would break out and beat up anyone who got in his way. I'm very scared. Is Charlie going to hurt someone?
I want to tell the doctor about Charlie, but I promised him I wouldn't hell her about anything he and I talked about. I can't break my promise. That would make me a lier. I'm not a lier. I'm not crazy.
December 10th
Matt the chess player was beat up today. The doctors think one of us did it, but they don't know who. I know who though. It was Charlie. I saw him walking around the hallway smiling. He looked scary and I didn't want to tell anyone. I was afraid he would beat me up too.
Charlie still wants to leave this place with me. He told me that he and I were going to get out, and that there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop us.
I don't like Charlie anymore.
December 14th
The doctor is getting mad. She's really mad. She says that if I don't eat anything, I won't get to go outside my room anymore.
What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
December 13th
I sat and looked at the snow all day. I like tha snow. Its white and pretty and it just floats down all day.
Charlie asked me if I was ready to go home. I didn't answer him. Im not going to talk to him anymore. He's crazy. He looks like everyone else who is crazy in here.
December 16th
What am I going to do? Charlie said that he might kill someone! I heard him whispering it. He's crazy! I have to tell the doctor!
December 18th
Im not crasy!
December 19th
I tried to tell the doctor about Charlie, but I cant. Im not a lier. Im not crazy. Charlie might hurt someone--might kill someone. What am I going to do?
December 20th
I yelled at Charlie today. I told him that I didn't want to see him and talk to him anymore. He laughed at me. Im not crazy. The doctors pulled me into my room before I could tell him what I was goin to do. Maybe the doctors are friends with Charlie now. They wont let me out of my room now, no matter how many times I ask. I have to stop Charlie. I don't want anyone to get beat up. I don't want anyone to get kill.
December 21st
Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie
Im not crazy like Charlie is.
December 22nd
The doctor let me out of my room today. She said I could come out if I promised to be good. I will be good I will make Charlie not kill. He will not kill.
Charlie told me the time. 9:33pm
December 23rd
I will shows them I am not crazy. I will stop charlie charlie charlie charlie. I am not crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy. I will show them and I am not crazy and I am not charlie...
9:33 ... Charlie showed me... on his golden watch...
I am--
I am not--
