The Ultimate Crapper

How deep should that crapper hole be? Suggested formula:
(# of men) X (avg number of beers consumed per day) / (amount of Tabasco [in OZs]) X (jamacan jerk eaten [in lbs])) X (beer constant*)
* The beer constant is the most difficult to ascertain. Factors are: the quantity of sleep the body has had in the last 72 hours, whether or not the body has diarrhea, the quality of crapper reading material, and whether or not it is raining.
If good looking girls are camped within 75', add another 3 points.
If you NEVER STOPPED drinking from the pevious day, add 6 points.