A Christmas Poem

The hate engulfs me,

Not letting me see.

Why does it have to be,

The way it be.

Once again I go,

Into depths very low.

The hole is deeper than before,

I am swallowed that is for sure.

People don’t like the way I feel,

Although I did not exaggerate I was for real.

I go over there for a decent meal,

Well at least there I am not a third wheel.

Everything I want I can’t have.

Can you tell me why it is?

Or am I just on the outside taking a piss.

I have fucked me again,

And with it I brought pain,

The kind rarely goes away,

So that means it is here to stay,

To my dismay.

I guess I have to pay,

In some sort of way.

Payment is harsh,

And it is certainly not sparse.

I am lost once again,

Will somebody help me my friend?

Christmas is ruined,

But that was shoe in.

Fucking ass-hole dad,

All he does is make me mad.

I used be a sort of different lad,

But now I am filled with hate,

I guess this is part of my fate,

It is too late,

To look to her to mate.

All I do is tell the truth,

Usually it is like pulling tooth.

My mind is clear,

But my heart is foggy.

I don’t know where to go,

I think this shows.

Hey can you say fuck this shit again,

Especially since I have way more than 5 to 10.

I got another 80 years of this shit,

I think it will always give me fits.

I left something between her tits,

That shit would usually give me kicks.

I feel like such a bitch,

There is no certain niche,

That I will ever fit,

So I will always be snake bit.

By writing this poem I have not accomplished my goal,

Once again I fall deeper in my hole.

I don’t deserve more than the infamous coal.

I knew I should have rolled,

But I couldn’t I had so much to say,

But none of it would make her stay.

If I had it to replay,

I would discuss such,

But make sure I am not fucked up that much.

Oh yeah now seamless I think is pretty pissed,

Another swing and miss.

My mouth will always kill me,

It even does it for free,

It helps to listen to the song "Pea",

For some odd reason it calms me,

Pretty fucking easily.

I am just an insignificant blip on the screen,

I never try to be mean.

Nanny says I am to lean,

My room is never clean.

Cookie is scared to be near,

Boney says she is in fear.

I find it funny,

But it don’t make my expression,

Turn to the reflection,

Of what it is normally,

If anything it intensifies it in me.

Why would someone be scared?

I just don’t think it is fair.

But why should I care,

Once again shit affecting me,

That just shouldn’t be.

When was the last time I felt glee?

I can’t think of it immediately.

Has it been in the past year?

Oh all I fear,

Is that the glee?

Is gone from me.

I feel sorry for everyone around me,

I must be a real heal.

I now know she’ll,

Never turn to me,

That was never what I wanted it to be.

Why can so few accept me for me?

Then TV makes me rant some more,

He makes me feel even more like a whore.

He gives me a shovel,

So I can dig past sea level.

Hey he tries not to be mean.

Well I can’t worry bout it,

I will someday be past this shit.

But knowing me it will always linger.

My time will soon come,

To be out of my home.

Oh how I wish I was riding in the loam,

Just thinking bout what I am missing makes me moan.

I have put who I am on hold,

So now I think I broke the mold,

Or some how it got sold.

Where has the old Sean gone?

I miss him so,

He would not let this get him down,

He would not let this make him frown.

But now I just feel like a clown,

Why am I still in this town?

Is there anything of him left?

Or is it gone and should I fret?

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