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Mosses Aren't Neat-O |
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Why Mosses Aren’t Neat-O by Eric Moody When thinking about the various nonvascular plants, gnetophytes (pronounced neat-o-phytes) don’t come to mind (because they are vascular plants). If mosses tried harder to be more like gnetophytes, however, they would be putting themselves in a much more successful situation. Although the gnetophytes only contain 3 different taxonomical genera, they clearly have the edge in the battle against mosses. The first genus, Gnetum, can beat the entire nonvascular paraphyletic group single-handedly, even though it doesn’t have any hands at all. The seeds of one particular member of this genus are used to produce the crispy snack Keropok Belinjau. If you could honestly tell me that life without Keropok Belinjau is worth living, please email me so I can tell you you’re wrong. Second on the gnetophyte team is Welwitschia. Not only does it provide an excellent excuse to travel to Namibia (don’t try collecting them in Angola though, because you’ll probably run into a landmine or two on the way), but it also lives it entire life with only two leaves. This may sound primitive, but keep in mind that our good friends the mosses have no leaves ever. Some would say that genus number three may bring this group down, but that’s where they’re wrong. It is true that Ephedra is responsible for creating the substance we have grown to know as a killer of athletes, but we have to look at the bright side. If ephedra wasn’t a harmful compound that was banned by sports leagues worldwide, we never would have been shown the light on this triad of oddball gymnosperms. Once a moss starts making national headlines maybe we’ll talk, but until then the mosses clearly can’t compete with these neat-o gnetophytes. |
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