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OSS
Vs. the Economy of Jamaica |
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Moss vs. The Economy of Jamaica by Eric Moody This is the first in what will eventually be a series of articles comparing moss and other random objects or concepts, and then declaring a winner. We will then keep track of moss's all-time record. Today's opponent: the economy of Jamaica. History: Mosses have had a long and boring evolutionary history. Through their sporophyte, they have found a way to automatically create proximo-distal polarity, and thus a fundamental tool for differentiation between separate parts of the organism. Mosses have had few divergences along their evolutionary tree, but the divergences often mark great changes. It took suspiciously long until the mosses evolved into vascular plants, perhaps suggesting that mosses were involved in some sort of evolutionary conspiracy. Things moved quickly from the first bryophytes to mosses, but suddenly they decided to stop evolving for a while so we could sit back and look at how obnoxious they are. Maybe, however, it just took them so long to evolve into vascular plants because they were evolving into forms that were even more worthless. The economy of Jamaica was initially based on sugar and bananas, but took an enthralling turn in the 1940s when bauxite was discovered there. By the 1970s, Jamaica was a world leader in bauxite production and drew many foreign investors, something moss has never done. Advantage: Economy of Jamaica Current Status: Mosses haven't changed much at all since those fateful days in the Middle Ordovician when bryophytes first appeared. They still depend on water to transport their sperm, and they still lack vascular tissues. The economy of Jamaica experienced a period of consecutive years in the late '90s where there was negative growth. Though inflation has fallen, tourism and output have gone down, and there is a lack of confidence in the productive sector. Although moss hasn't improved much over the last 400 million years, at least it hasn't experienced losses like Jamaica's economy. Advantage: Moss Future Outlook: Mosses don't seem to show much potential for improving themselves within the phylum, but they do get props for eventually evolving into other forms of land plants. Moss also shows some colonizing future, as it has found residence in such places as Svalbard. Jamaica shows definite potential for growth and modernization. Its government has started adopting policies incouraging foreign investment and has estbalished free trade zones that have stimulated growth. Jamaica also is an important exporter of rum, which will always be delicious. Advantage: Economy of Jamaica In conclusion, the economy of Jamaica seems to have a slight edge over mosses. Even though mosses may be in the more favorable position at the moment, that will just be motivation for Jamaica to step it up in the clutch. Moss Record: 0-1 |
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