Daddy

I don't feel that I ever really knew you. We never knew where you were for most of our lives. You would show up out of the blue and then be gone just as quickly.

I have often wondered what it was like to live inside your body. To hear voices telling you crazy things and not be able to run far enough to get away from them. To have to live with memories of all the things that happened during the war. It must have been hard to differentiate between all the things going on in your head.

I do remember you coming home a few times while I was growing up. In one way you were a total stranger and it was very hard to look at you and really believe you were my daddy. In my heart, I longed for a father/daughter relationship but I was so afraid of you, I always kept my distance. From what all the family tells me, you were the calmest one of Grandma's 6 sons when you were growing up. Everyone knew if you were plowing because all they heard was the noise of the mules harnesses and stuff. You never had to raise your voice to get the mules to do as you wanted them to.

I will never believe anything other than you were called to preach. You did preach about 3 times or so. Then when you went in the service, something snapped and for most of your adult years, you were on the run. But Maggie said she remembered how you always stressed to us to trust the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. She remembers you writing that in letters.

I am so thankful for you finally being able to settle down close to Jan and her family in your last years. Jan had the opportunity to have a relationship with you and get to know you. I know she loved you dearly and she still misses you. Daddy, I loved you the only way I knew and even though it saddens me that you are gone, I am very thankful that you knew the Lord as your Savior and you are now with Him in glory. No more voices to contend with. No more strokes to take away more of your mind and dignity. I shall see you soon again in the land of Life. I shall hear your voice again singing praise to the Lamb. No more heartaches, no more pain, you are home free. I shall see you soon again in the land of life. Where there is peace, peace in His presence and joy evermore. No more sadness, no more goodbyes. You are home.

I love you, Daddy. Tell Grandma and Grandpa I love them too and I'll see you all soon.

Love,
Your daughter
Diane "Mosh"