The ideals of selflessness, altruism and magnanimity are great and noble. They strike us with some inner truth, and we believe that those that are able to offer themselves wholly to the service of mankind are enlightened and peaceful spiritual beings that can see past the drudgery and disenchantment of others to view a clearer and more accurate understanding of the world.
However, I have discovered that firstly, one must give to oneself first, above and before all others, if one is to fulfil this service to others. The reason I believe this is because unless you love yourself, unless you value your own existence, whatever you do for others in itself has no meaning to you, since, quite simply, you are not completely present. In order for you to give love freely and without despair when it is not reciprocated, you must value who you are and what you stand for. Your actions must have meaning to you on their own. Your beliefs must be rooted in your essence of being.
Secondly, there is a downside to all of this idealism - namely, selfless love requires a disattachment of the kind that is antithetical to the normal Western notion of experiencing true love. As long as one is forever giving and never expecting anything in return, one is not truly attached to another object; hence, one is not truly head over heels with anyone or anything in particular. Associated with this lack of devotional attachment is an emotional void - a void that Western society and culture believes people should fill somehow throughout their lifetime in order to experience ultimate happiness through love.
In the same vein, people intuitively feel that unless someone can hurt you irrevocably, and has the power to emotionally scar you at their whim, you have not experienced true love for any person. Unless this is true, your love for them is generic and vague. Your intentions may come across as insincere; you are not perceived as genuine. People basically want other people to know hurt, to have the ability to be hurt, and to be held vulnerable simply by the act of loving. It is the well known cliche, 'to wear your heart on your sleeve,' which conveys love as a form of personal risk. When you love, you risk losing a part of yourself, and that is held in esteem because it shows exactly how deep your devotion and commitment to something goes. When you love someone this way you reduce a bit of yourself to accommodate for the perceived greatness of the loved subject as a part of your life.