How many of us can relate to this? How sad that
most of us can. As we leave the hectic “buy me” season behind us
for one more trip around the sun I can’t help but think of how many of
us are tired. I don’t mean that this article has bored you to sleep, I
am talking of the mental and emotional draining that takes it’s place
right next to the eggnog and fruitcake.
It begins in November. We stuff ourselves on turkey and while we try desperately
to stomach both the meal and the idea of all those dishes in the drain our eyes
are drawn to something colorful peeking out from the morning paper. The Flyers.
The “get your ass out of bed at 4am and be in our store before the sun
rises cause we need to make a trillion dollars today” flyers. I fall victim
too, I get out a marker and sit with my mom and sister as we gorge ourselves
on eyepopping pictures of how our coming holiday should look. We write up our
“plan of attack” which inevitably begins at Wal-Mart and head to
bed – it is now T minus six hours and we need our energy.
At 6:32am I witness what is probably the most appaling sight I have ever witnessed.
Standing in front of about 300 TV’s and DVD players, among only about
100 people, the 6:30 announcement has been called and the sale can begin. The
Wal-Mart employee slits open the side of the shrink wrap and runs as the crowd
crushes forward. I stand back, knowing full well there will still be one waiting
for me when the onslaught ends. That is when I see it. It has been a mere two
minutes since it began and already there is an injury. A little boy, maybe four
or five is hoplessly trailing behind his mother who victoriously carries a DVD
player to her cart. The mob surrounding her child behind her means nothing –
she has her booty. Too bad her son, tired and dragged out of bed to this melee,
has been smashed in the head by another insane shopper and their precious cargo.
This mother has no clue he is hurt. She grabbed her package and didn’t
look back until it was in her cart. He is not bleeding, but I can bet he will
have a pretty good bruise on his head – but I suppose her DVD player will
last longer than the bruise.
After a day spent racing around and waiting in endless checkout lines I fall
into bed, asleep before I can pull up the covers. This is how we spend the next
month of our lives. We race from one sale to another. We spend and we wrap and
then we lay in bed thinking about how we will pay for the next purchase. We
cram in a job because if we don’t work we won’t be able to spend.
We eat speedy dinners between work and shopping and , if we are lucky, we read
the kids a story before bedtime.
How did a time of year that should be all about family become all about Wal-Mart
and Crossgates? When did the focus become what the balance is on our Visa rather
than on how we balanced the kids school schedule with work? Our family and work
make us hectic enough. The Yule time season has become a time of year that only
adds more stress to us. We get a bit of time off from work and instead of spending
it with family or friends we rarely see – we head off to make our returns
and spend the afternoon waiting in yet another line at the mall.
For three years my candle burned out long before the holidays actually arrived.
I greeted the season with a nasty emotion and made everone around me miserable.
I have barely enough money to buy a couple of (in my opinion) lousy gifts for
the few in my family. I always had tons to open and yet I couldn’t reciprocate.
My daughter opened presents from Santa and none from me, I figured she wouldn’t
even notice who they were from so why waste the money on her when I knew I needed
a present for someone else. I stopped that this year.
I had a lot of peole ask me what I wanted for Christmas this year. I had nothing
to tell them. I quit my job and am living on my student loans while I go back
to college. But I am home, home every day with my daughter. I put her on the
bus in the morning, something I hadn’t done in two years and I am here
when she gets off the bus. We read together at night and I found out I actually
*like* her. I hadn’t been too sure about that. For the past four months
my parents and my sister had done everything to support my going back to school
for my degree. What could I possibly ask for after I got all that?
I went shopping with everyone else and had a good time just enjoying going out,
but I only took just as much money as I knew I could afford. I didn’t
step foot into Crossgates and I wrapped presents in my living room with my tree
lit and all my candles glowing warmly. Instead of killing myself cleaning for
a holiday party that I knew would not be well attended, I went to the parties
I was invited to and enjoyed myself.
We run ourselves ragged, burn out and wonder why we dread the holidays. We have
made the season unenjoyable. Lets take the next ten months to breathe. As the
earth carries us back to the warmth of the sun, take a moment and sit in the
golden rays. Read a magazine (wouldn’t want to overextend with an *actual*
book) and sip some tea. Get some of your Christmas shopping done each month
and when December comes you can walk out to the end of your driveway and wave
at all the people clamboring to the mall.