Having to choose just three core beliefs sounded at first like a daunting task. Only three? And only a two page paper to explain them? But as I mulled over thoughts in my head, I realized that a core belief is not a fleeting thought, it is not even a truth you have sided with for a few years. A core belief has to be something rooted deeply in your system that you have struggled to believe in. I could ramble on for pages about a belief that lying is wrong or that taking life is immoral: but then I would have to punish myself for all the white lies I have told or the thousands of spiders I have murdered.

After quite a bit of contemplation, my three beliefs of service, family and faithfulness became evident. While these can be very broad beliefs, I feel that they are the foundation for which I make all other decisions. It has not been an easy base to build, but I don't believe your beliefs should come handed to you on a platter.

Service is my desire to help others. As humans on the planet I feel we have a duty to make the best life we can for ourselves and those around us. This is not a belief that we have to give up all out worldly possessions to donate to the needy. We need not give up our own hard won livelihoods, but if we are able we should help others. I volunteer as much as I can. I help with school clubs and holiday Adopt-A-Family programs. I have been volunteering with Planned Parenthood for almost two years and attend rallies to protect women's rights. My daughter has picked up on the bug and volunteers when she can with animal shelters. It may only be that we can volunteer once every couple of months, but it is what we can do and we work to the best of our abilities.

Family is the easiest. It is also the one faked by many. Everyone says that they choose family first and that is a lovely sentiment, but how many people actually practice it? I was raised in a great family (though I hated it at the time); we took family vacations and my parents loved me. When I made mistakes they didn't abandon me and when I had a baby at 17 they were hurt, but supported me unwaveringly. Later they bought a huge house with three apartments so my daughter and I could live near them after my marriage fell apart.

My family is my rock. I debate current events topics with my Dad and my mom helps me study when I can't focus. My sister is younger but has become my best friend, when I am stressed she is the one to talk me off the ledge. I would not have succeeded as far without them. A family joke is that I owe them so much I will change their Depends when they are old. But that isn't a joke to me. My future includes taking care of my parents when they need me because they have never wavered in their commitment to me.

My belief in faith was not always apparent. I struggled for a very long time with faith. Not just religious faith, but faith in others and faith in myself. I was raised a Presbyterian, but came out with more questions than answers. It did not help that the pastor at my church was foul and made rude comments so, once older, I turned away from the church. I fell in love at 16 and was so blinded by it that I never saw the infidelity. By 23, I was becoming mentally unstable from his treatment. It took several years of self-examination after that situation to trust myself again. During this time religion came back to me and not in the form of the "big three" as they call them. I am pagan, one of the earth-based religions. For me, the belief in the earth as a whole living entity has allowed me to see things larger than myself. Our lives are small in comparison to the world and our problems may seem huge, but our problems are small and can be dealt with as long as we have faith in something larger than ourselves.

Beliefs are hard to attain and harder to explain. They are not bumper sticker slogans or email tag lines. We may be able to express ourselves with quick comments and one-liners, but the foundation of our lives should be apparent in more than that.



Back to my journal

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1