BEVERLY HILLS, California (Reuters) -- Apollo 11 astronaut Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin offered a spirited defense Wednesday as to why he decked a pushy filmmaker who wanted him to swear on a Bible that he really did go to the moon -- self defense.

 

Oh this is too good to be true!  In case you’ve not been following this nutty nut, this ‘documentary’ film maker named Bart Sibrel, is part of the bottom dwelling turtles that believe there was no moon landing.  That’s right, he believes that it was an elaborate hoax.  So, in order to get famous, he decides to make a movie about his conspiracy theory and invites Buzz for an interview. 

 

This guy approaches a 74 year old man, who by the way is there with his daughter, and starts shoving a bible in his face saying, “Swear on this bible that you landed on the moon!”  All the while backing him up and controlling his movements.  Or so the story is claimed.  I frankly believe that.  Afterall Buzz is an old guy, he might be used to some crackers floating up from his soup once in a while, but I’m sure this idiot startled him.  And it probably didn’t take long for Buzz to go from shock to anger…and POW!  Buzz socks this bastard.  Good for Buzz.  The fuckhead deserved it, and more.

 

I’d just like to make two little points:

 

1.      Did we land on the moon?  I’m not of the mind set to believe that we would go to the trouble of all the current space program if in the 1960’s we had not had some success.  I therefore believe, that we did in deed go to the moon.  And to really believe that such a hoax could have been covered up, let alone actually perpetrated so well, for 30 years, is un believable.  The moon was a mission, for our fathers, to fight communism.  It would seem that somewhere along the line some pighead would have squealed by now about his involvement in the ‘phony’ moon landings.  But we don’t get any real credible evidence of such.   That said, I like the idea of his story and would like to see how he presents it.  But, if he were a real human being he would have respected Buzz as a fellow human, and would have asked politely for an interview and treated him fairly and honestly, instead of those shitty Geraldo tactics!  And speaking of Geraldo, don’t you wish that the Afghani people could shoot?  There had to be one tablecloth wearing guy in the country who could have done the US this one favor and shot that fool.  But no, he made it home.

2.      My other point, those nylon wearing, butt plugs running the DA’s office in LA better think long and hard about charging Buzz for this assault.  The guy was completely in the right.  He was bamboozled, ambushed, and intimidated, by this Bart Sibrel fellow and if the DA falls on it’s laurels, like it seems to do, one of the people that walked on the moon, may find that his only walking space will be to pick up my cigarettes off the side of the freeway.  And think how that would look?  You want to talk about driving kids to drink and use drugs…cuff Aldrin, that will do it.  Just think about this 74 year old astronaut with that long aluminum hand, only this time he’s wearing an orange jumpsuit, not a spacesuit, and the extension hand isn’t picking up moon rocks, it’s picking up Kentucky Fried Chicken bones.  That would be a dark day in the history of this country.

 

A day I need not see.

 

Update: 06.23.2003 I've recently heard more information about this Bart S. fellow. It turns out that he's a christian, who makes sure to flaunt it in the face of all those that listen, "I've recently become a christian, and I thought I needed to uncover this..."

In typical christian idiocy he exclaims that humans are not worthy of accomplishment. That human beings can not do anything, that we are sinners, devoid of greatness, absent in glory. We are lost. We can do nothing, but beg on bended knee for grace and salvation. I hate people like this guy. He has been twisted into believing his own glory is outside of his ability to grasp it, that he needs to thank god for his gifts...that's utter crap. I believe in human beings. I believe in our ability to accomplish great things. The telephone changed the world overnight. Television changed the world. Airplanes changed the world. And it's true that technology colapses and breaks, but unlike our invisible creator, we humans constantly try and learn better ways to avoid things breaking in the future. Frankly, knowning that alone, gives me pride in humanity, more than I have for a being that doesn't even have to lift a finger to invent one.