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BELMONT ABBEY COLLEGE
Why We Homeschool Our Children
We have been homeschooling our children for thirteen years. When we first
decided to homeschool our children, we were living in a town out in New Mexico that had a
really big problem with gangs. Of course we didn't want our children
to get caught in any crossfire, and we honestly couldn't figure out how
any teacher could effectively educate any children with gang members in
the classroom. However, we couldn't afford private school, and
didn't really know what our alternatives might be.
But God had great plans for us! Some kind soul, we don't know who, had
a copy of The Teaching Home
Magazine sent to us. I devoured it, cover to cover, then shared
what I had learned with Gaylon. He was
surprised that I had ever considered NOT homeschooling our kids! So,
we prayerfully agreed to homeschool. I had no idea what I was doing,(and trust me, after eleven years I sometimes
still wonder what I'm doing!)
but Gaylon had confidence in me, and so I just kept praying that the Lord
would show us which curriculum to buy, and what direction to take.
And He has. Year after year, and even day after day!
Homeschooling is not always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth the effort.
We've had countless people tell us "Oh, I'd never have the time for
that." "I'm not smart enough to homeschool my kids."
"How can you afford not to work?" "I couldn't stand
being with my kids all day! I'd go nuts!" and worst of
all, "My kids would never listen to me if I tried to teach
them." Well, we make the time. And you don't have to be
smart, just committed. While we won't be featured on
"Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" anytime soon, what we've got
invested in our kids pays dividends that no financial investment could
ever rival. If your kids drive you nuts, or won't listen to
you, read on.
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We believe in breastfeeding until the child weans his/herself, "wearing" our babies in a sling, co-sleeping, cloth
diapering etc. This is commonly referred to as "Attachment Parenting". Over the years we have encountered (and tried) many
different ideas about how to raise children. Some have worked for us, many have not. We have found that what works the very
best is to listen to our hearts, and treat our children the way we would want to be treated. I do want to make brief mention
here of one particular method that we are adamantly AGAINST: "Growing Kids God's Way", or the Ezzo Method. If
you are curious as to why, please email me, and I will be glad to tell you. Suffice it to say that their methods are, in my
opinion, tyrannical and barbaric.
So how do we discipline them? The obvious approach is to take away privileges if they disobey or are
disrespectful. And that
certainly gets their attention. Sometimes they get "grounded", but usually all we have to do is remove
priveleges. When something seems to be a problem area, we help them look up Bible verses that apply to the situation. We
have found that it really helps our kids to see that we aren't just making up rules as we go, but that our expectations are
based on what God wants for all of us, not just for them. We also give our kids allowances each month, based on them keeping
up with their daily chores and treating each other with respect. Overall, this is not much of a problem, although our oldest
son seems to think that it shouldn't matter to us if there are scary creatures breeding underneath the 'stuff' in his
bedroom! He is very clear about not agreeing with us on this matter, but he is also very respectful about it, and does keep
his room fairly clean!
Gaylon and I are by no means perfect parents. In fact, I often joke that instead of saving for our kids' College
Education, we are putting money aside for their therapy! And, I have to be honest and say that our views on child-rearing
have changed tremendously, several times, even, over the past seventeen years. When we first started homeschooling, it was a
fairly simple process. We focused on the "Three Rs". I took the kids to the park once a week to play with other homeschooled
kids (alright, the real reason was so I could get some social interaction with other homeschooled grown-ups!!), and we
went on field trips to the zoo or nature center. But as our children got older, and their personalities became stronger, we
had to make adjustments. For example, Kendall is social, and is a natural leader. So he is a member of our Parish Youth Board, as well as the Diocesan Youth Advisory Council. He is also active in our local Squires Group and the Youth Praise Band at our Parish, called 'Glorified City'. Alexander, on the other hand, is more artsy. He plays piano and writes short stories. He also loves to cook and play video games. Faith is very into drawing and crafts. She is a member of our Homeschool Girl Scout Troop and of Daughters of St. Anne. She will be learning to play piano this school year. So, we
have had to adjust our schedule to accomodate all of our children's different personalities.
I used to try to be very rigid with our "school schedule", but have found that that just doesn't work for us. We are all
night owls, and usually stay up late, and sleep late. At first I felt guilty about this, but have now come to realize that
that is one of the beauties of homeschooling. You can make your own schedule! Now I just sit down with the kids at the
beginning of each school year and we figure out some loose goals for them to work toward. Kendall has been taking classes at our local community college, courtesy of the "Dual-Enrollment" program. We still use Sonlight Curriculum with him, and this year we are focusing on British Literature. I have enrolled Alex in Kolbe Academy this year, as he will be starting High School. Kolbe will keep records for us and provide us with a diploma and a transcript. I recognize my limitations, and since I am not the world's greatest record keeper, I felt this was a good plan! LOL Faith has already started her school year, so she will not have to "do school" in December! She is using Catholic Heritage Curricula, and we both really love it!
Another area that we have relaxed in is the area of media/entertainment. I am not much of a TV person, and Gaylon pretty
much just sleeps in front of the TV. . . LOL! But we do rent a lot of movies and play a lot of video games. And all of us
read a LOT. When our kids were a lot younger we were very strict about what they could watch on TV, what movies they could
see, and what video games they could play. As they have gotten older, and had more interaction with other families, they
have come home wanting to watch/play new things. For the most part, we let them make their own decisions in this area, but we
spend time discussing the movie or game or whatever, and make sure that they know what we believe and how we feel about
things. The really cool thing is that our kids have always made decisions that we are pleased with. One of the biggest
issues we have had to face as a Christian homeschooling family was whether or not to let our kids read the Harry Potter
books. I decided I would read them first, so I could discuss them with the kids as they read them. I have to say that the
books are delightful, and I have become a big fan! We have actually had people quit associating with us over this, which I
don't understand, but that's another subject that I won't go into here.
I try very hard to stay in touch with my kids, and be a part of their lives. One of the neatest compliments I have ever
received was from Gaylon. He told me one night that our kids have the coolest mom in the world! I asked him what he meant
by that, and he said "Well, not too many moms will go hang out in their son's bedroom and listen to music and watch music
videos on the internet with them. You actually know what they listen to, and even like some of it! And how many moms would
take their kids to a concert? You are very cool." Talk about feeling good! I really appreciated him sharing that with me.
Our kids have so many friends who are afraid to talk to their parents, but my kids have come to me asking about everything
from "What is marijuana?" to "What do I do about wet dreams?" No topic is off-limits in our home; we want our kids to know
that we are here for them, no matter what.
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After all of the tragic school shootings, this should no longer be an
issue, but it is. People seem to have the idea that children should
be segregated into little age groups, taken away from their families and
thrust into a violent, dangerous, unhealthy environment in order to become
'healthy adults'. Seems to us that if that method worked, then
Columbine wouldn't be a household name. At no other time in a human
being's life is he segregated by age except during his school years.
Then, after having only been around other kids, he is supposed to go out
into the world and be a grown-up, and deal with people of all ages.
We are not raising our children to be adults anymore. Instead, we
are raising adult-aged children. Check out any bookstore or coffee
house. They're full of people in their 20's and 30's who are
dressing and acting like they're still in High School or College.
They don't know how to be adults. So they stay where they are.
However, statistics have shown, time and again,
that home schooled children are better able to make the transition into
the "real world" than are public school children. Home
schooled kids are also better at interacting with people of all age
groups, because in a family, and in the real world that homeschoolers live
in, that's what you do.
The other concern is always that homeschoolers don't have any social
activities. I suppose that could be true for some homeschoolers
somewhere. But I've never met them. All the homeschoolers that
I know (and I know hundreds!) are all so busy with their children's social
lives that they have to have appointment books to keep up with the
schedule. (Personally, I like my Palm Zire 72. I can set alarms to remind me to do stuff like return library books or take the dog in to be groomed. I need alarms! LOL) We keep cutting things out of our schedule, and still
don't have enough hours in a day. We have ballet, karate, cooperative unit studies, field trips, support group
meetings, church
functions, and just meeting other homeschoolers at the park. And
that's in a typical week! Trust me, I've never known any home
schooled kids that suffered from loneliness or boredom. That's all
I'm going to say on the subject of socialization right now. I could
fill a whole web site on this issue, but suffice it to say, we believe
that the best way for our children to be "socialized" is for
them to be at home.
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There are literally hundreds of curriculums and items on the market now
that are geared toward the home school. For most of our homeschooling years we have used Sonlight Curriculum. But we've also been known to take a break and
just let the kids explore their own interests for a while. This has
developed into some fascinating unit studies. Mary Hood has written
an excellent book about this sort of schooling called The Relaxed
Homeschooler. I would recommend reading that book before reading
any other. Oh, and she has a PhD in Education!
The main thing I can say about what and how to teach your children at
home is this: don't try to turn your home into a school. I
believe the ideal homeschool is flexible and spontaneous. Let me try to
narrow that concept down a little. Everything you do with your
children translates in to some sort of learning experience for them (and
often, for you!). If you take them to the grocery store, they are
learning nutrition, home economics,
budgeting, menu planning. If you let them help you bake cookies,
they are again learning nutrition (if you bake healthy cookies, that is!)
as well as math and chemistry. My boys helped my husband build our
barn. They learned algebra, geometry, the importance of safety in
the work environment, how to order supplies from Lowe's, and how to work
all sorts of power tools, as well as a good ol' fashioned hammer and nail.
They also have a great sense of pride in having done something worth
while.
You probably get the point by now. Anything can be a learning
experience. How sad that we've come to believe that the only way a
person can learn is to sit in a classroom and read a book, listen to a
lecture, or watch a video. That is certainly not how God instructed
the Israelites to teach their children. These commandments that I
give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your
children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk
along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as
symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on
the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. ~ Deuteronomy 6:6-9
~ That doesn't sound like classroom learning to me!
We have found that one of the main ingredients in our home has to be
fun! If we enjoy something, we
remember it. When children are toddlers, we stop to explore every flower
and insect with them. We take them to the library. We take
them to plays for kids. We play funny children's songs on the
stereo. We follow their lead, and do what we can to encourage their
natural enthusiasm for learning. Don't buy the lie that when they
turn five years old you have to send them off to the "experts"
because you're no longer qualified. Nothing could be further from
the truth. We still drop everything and gather around our kitchen
window with the 'Bird Book' to try to identify what sort of bird is at our
feeder. That's home schooling!
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Love2Learn.net
"Favorite Resources for Catholic Homeschoolers and others who "love to learn". . . 'nuff said!
A monster links list!
Homeschool Legal Defense Association
These folks have done tremendous work toward protecting homeschoolers'
rights and privileges. If you are just making the decision to homeschool, and are looking for the laws that apply to to your state, this is the place to look. The also have a list of state-by-state homeschool support groups. More links.
Catholic Heritage Curricula Even if you don't use their curriculum, they carry so many wonderful resources! We really enjoy their materials, very sweet and gentle for little ones.
Sonlight Curriculum
This is the curriculum we have used the most; When I gave
Kendall the option to do the relaxed homeschooling thing, or pick his own
curriculum, he chose this one, and is glad he did! I think I learn
as much as my kids do. They also have a wonderful online community via their Forums, available to anyone who buys a "Core" curriculum from them.
Kolbe AcademyAn orthodox Catholic, Ignatian, classically-based, day school and home school program for grades K-12. And, as I mentioned before, they will do all the record keeping.
CatholicMom.com A great site for anyone who is a mom! Wonderful links, including a homeschool link.
Emmanuel Books Okay, my name is Valarie, and I am a Book-a-holic! This site is dangerous for me, because they have so many wonderful resources!! Great for Catholic Homeschoolers, Catholics, and anyone who loves to learn more about our amazing Faith!
Catholic Answers This may seem like a strange thing to put under homeschooling links, but it makes perfect sense to me. As a Catholic, I know only too well that many non-Catholics will challenge my children about their Faith. Gaylon and I will have to answer to our Lord for how well we have prepared our children to live and serve Him. There is really no more important aspect of a child's education than their Faith. The Bible tells us that we must be ready to give an answer for the Hope that is in us. I want my children to be way more prepared than I was for people who will question, challenge, and even viciously attack them, simply because we are Catholic. Sadly, many of our non-Catholic brothers and sisters have been taught great falsehoods about our Faith. I myself bought into some of those lies for many years, and left the Church. But, God is ever faithful, and He gently led our family home. I want my children to be armed with the Truth, so that they may not have to make the same mistakes I did.
Having said all of that (whew!) Catholic Answers is one of the most complete sites I have found for anyone who may have questions about Catholicism. The links are wonderful, and I honestly believe one can find a link to answer any question they might have. Apologetics is an integral part of our homeschooling experience, so it seemed only right to include a link to Catholic Answers under "Homeschooling Links".
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