(Alec Baldwin, The Departed)
My school is a tobacco free campus, god damn fitness freaks. go fuck yourselves. i smoke everywhere, its a bullshit rule. they have said that the rule was enacted for health reasons, also bullshit. i know that this reason for a tobacco free campus is bullshit because it encompasses not only smoking tobacco but also smokeless forms such as chew and snuff, which pose no health risks to anyone other that those using the product (unless they were to spit into your mouth, which is ridiculous). the real reason for the ban on all tobacco products on campus is litter. smokers are in general, assholes. discarded cigarette butts do not go away, and a smoker who is in too much of a hurry or too lazy to properly extinguish their cigarette in the ash trays provided, will just toss their butt in the general direction of the receptacle. you can see this everywhere there are smokers. 90% of the time in a public place there will be more cigarettes on the ground surrounding an ashtray that are in the ashtray itself. i am not one of those inconsiderate smokers so i ignore the rule all together. besides, a 5 dollar fine is not much of a consequence, i am not going to be deterred. i enjoy smoking.
I enjoy smoking. that is my one and only reason for smoking. people make up too many excuses for their habit. it helps to relieve stress. i only smoke when i drink. im a social smoker. it helps keep my apatite down. fuck that noise. those are not reasons to smoke as far as i am concerned. if you want stress relief get some fucking prozac. if you need it for social situations, your socially inept. if you want to suppress you apatite take some fucking Trimspa. dont smoke for these reasons, smoke because you enjoy it. the side effects of smoking are just a pleasant bonus. like getting a blowjob from your bosses wife at the company picnic.
as far as the health aspect of smoking goes, its no ones fucking business but my own. i know what smoking is doing to me, i just dont care. i do alot of other unhealthy things in conjunction with smoking, but no one ever bitches about those. right now there is a battle royal going on inside my body. colonel cancer and lieutenant liver are viciously fighting over who will win the right to finish me off. i dont like to chose favorites so i supply both sides of the fight with ample ammunition. most days i give each side just enough to balance each other out, but on rare occasions i treat them both. on nights of heavy drinking, i mix tequila and scotch with strong non filtered smokes, real cowboy killers. nights like that probably take several weeks off my life in one fell swoop and its ok, because like i said, its nobodys fucking business but my own. i never really worry about what its doing to me because i simply dont care. right now i have no family, no children to worry about. the day the doctor gives me 6 months to live is the day i have one hour to live. just enough time to smoke a pack, drink a case and load my gun. adios.
ok, so that was a little morbid. possibly slightly exaggerated. just something to waste the time and take my mind of whats been bothering me for the last fucking week. it will come out eventually, but not today. . .
No greater grief than to remember days of joy when misery is at hand. . . adios.