Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Rejection Committee
Lets be honest, most of the people in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland don’t actually deserve to be in there. Some do don’t get me wrong but most, not so much. So as a public service, our crack team of experts will boot “performers” out of the hall on a weekly basis.
Alright so here’s how it works: Every Wednesday, Adam, Arica, and Kevin will each oust someone only from the “performers” section of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Every performer must be kicked out for a reason; however, there are no restrictions as to the ridiculousness of the reason. Each week we will rotate which expert has first crack at removing someone. Our experts do not discuss their picks with each other prior to the submission. Once removed the performer will be taken off our list and we will continue to exhaust this list until we ultimately have a sole inductee remaining, the last performer standing will be the only remaining inductee in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Previous Rejections
Adam: I
feel like I should preface my first pick with the notice that the order of
these picks are for the most part meaningless.
The first person kicked out isn’t necessarily worse that the second
person booted, it just happened that way.
We aren’t looking at this as lets kick out the worse person remaining
but rather lets kick out anyone that isn’t going to win. When we finally get down towards the bottom
this will probably change but until then lets start kicking out some
losers. My first pick is a great artist
but he’s just not great enough. Quite
simply if your not the best at what you do, then you can’t possibly win this
contest so sadly, I am going to kick out Stevie
Wonder (1). Stevie is not even the best
Black, Blind, Male, Motown Piano Player in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Lets be honest, he will never be Ray
Charles. That being sad, Stevie Wonder
is no longer a part of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Arica: My first pick for rejection from the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame is Rod Stewart (2) simply
because no, I do not want his body and no, I do not think he’s sexy. He’s gross
and his music makes me want to kill myself.
Kevin: I am
going to start this off with a bang.
This past week (on my way back to Chicago) my car broke down in
Cleveland… interestingly enough the same place where the Rock and Roll hall of
fame is located. With the unfortunate
event, I was given time to think about who should be launched out of this
crappy city, as I sat in my Red Roof Inn Motel room. They had this awesome
coffee machine in the main lobby, but I had to walk outside to get to the
lobby, which just made me hate motels and Cleveland as a city even more. I also, mind you, missed a day of work due
to this car incident and was forced to work on Saturday to make up for the
missed time. Ok, back to the original
purpose… sorry to bore you with mundane details, but you wouldn’t understand my
reasoning without all of this. I
decided to kick out an individual who was artistically “successful” due to a
car incident or car accident. I would
like to suggest that Carl Perkins
(3) be booted from the hall. This tool, after surviving a serious car accident on his way to
NY (I was on my back from NY), unfortunately recovered and in that same year he
jammed with the likes of Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis and Johnny Cash… success with
cars? My ass! I blew 500 bucks and sat
in a motel room. If Carl Perkins came
to me today and offered to pay for the car repairs or at least get me a pair of
blue suede shoes, I might reconsider his fate…but he hasn’t and he won’t
because he died of throat cancer. See
what singing can do to you…cancer, just remember that. Oh yeah and my girlfriend has never heard of
the loser.
Arica: This
week I have decided to give the boot to none other than the infamous U2 (4).
Sure The Joshua Tree may very well be one of the greatest albums of all
time but there are plenty of reasons to hate on Bono and his band. The name
Bono, for starters, or better yet, The Edge. I mean come on now, these are
grown men. Add to that the fact that Bono insists on wearing
sunglasses 24/7 even indoors, even on OPRAH. I just... there are no words to
describe how much I hate him. Oh wait... one, two, three FOURTEEN. Yep, that
about does it.
Kevin: When
we talk about good female rock and roll groups, we should be talking about
girls that were abused by their neighbors, had to get over a drug addiction, or
are currently drinking themselves into a coma in order to get over their
childhood memories. This sounds nothing
like The Shirelles (5), because well, they are not a good
female rock and roll group, in fact they are horrible. They grew up envying the flamingos… envying
pink is a bad choice, and she is an even worse female singer. If Pink were to ever make it into the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame, I would quit kicking groups out and kick the current
selection committee in the face. I
shriek at the thought of The Shirelles staying in the hall for much
longer. Please get off the stage. I
never loved you to begin with, let alone tomorrow.
Adam: If
you were to actually go to the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame’s website you would see any one of a half
dozen or so splash pages to enter their main site. Each of these cute pages has an artist in the hall, with their
picture and a super quote from them. On
one such page is Little Richard
(6). Little’s quote is “I’m the originator, the
emancipator, and the architect of Rock and Roll.” First of all Rich, your not the originator, your not the
emancipator and you are certainly not the architect of Rock and Roll. The Architect of Rock and Roll, really do
you really think so? What the hell did
you do to rock and roll? Ruin it maybe
by allowing tons of other freaks to get into rock just like you. I’ll tell you what, lets forget about the
fact that you are none of those things for just a second, I’m still kicking you
out because you can’t give yourself a nickname, there are rules.
Kevin: I
recommend the tossing out of The Jackson
Five (7). There are several reasons; I am only going
to list a few because I don't want you to have to sit there for the next four
days. One – Michael Jackson is already
in two Hall of Fames. A.) - Rock and Roll Hall (we will take care of that later
on this year), b.) – Child Molesters Hall of Fame (it's just not right, I
know). Two – Janet is not talented
enough to be showing her mammary gland in public and getting away with it. Three – The other three Jackson's, man they
sucked. Where are they now? Four – I worked in Old Navy at a time when that
damn 'ABC' song was "re-introduced," and everyone knows that they
play the same 5 bouncy ass songs over and over and over again. After a six-hour shift, I hated The Jackson
Five with a passion. Now every time I
hear it, I want to destroy puppies.
Adam: Ricky Nelson
(8) is being removed from the Rock Hall
because you can’t be both a good singer and a good actor. If you don’t believe me just ask; David
Hasselhoff, William Shatner, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez,
Mariah Carey, Lil Bow Wow, Tom Green, Hillary Duff, Dolly Parton, Cher, Reba
McEntire, Don Johnson, the other guy from Miami Vice, Marky Mark Wahlberg,
Lindsay Lohan, Jon Bon Jovi, Mos Def, Harry Conick Jr., Ice Cube, Ice T., Billy
Ray Cyrus, Coolio, Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Lyle Lovett, Queen Latifah,
Eve, Ludacris, Ja Rule, and every other rapper ever. Sorry buddy, better luck next time.
Arica: For
this week’s rejection I am going to go with Prince
(9). Partially because I'm having a really good time kicking out people
that everyone has heard of and likely has an opinion about and partially
because I swear to god if someone asks me to party like its 1999 one more time
I'm going to go postal. It's 2007 people! Stop playing that song, let it die.
It's over.
Adam: I’m
kicking out Gladys Knight
and the Pips (10). Why? Name a Pip. Exactly.
Goodbye.
Arica: This week I have chosen to
vote out Jerry Lee
Lewis (11). For completely shallow reasons that have nothing to do with music of
course but he was an incestuous pedophile who married his cousin. And that’s
all I have to say about that.
Kevin: Lovin'
Spoonful (12) –
If McDonalds didn't ruin them with "Do you believe in Magic", it was
the title of the group. Who in their right mind would have chosen this as a
name? Worse of all, are the people who would go to see them or buy their
albums. Can you image concert goers saying things like "we're going to the
Lovin' Spoonful concert, it is going to be a feel good experience!" Well I
can't. No group can make it without fans and no relationship can last on the
act of 'spooning' alone.
Arica: This week I’m kicking out Ike and Tina
Turner (13). If it was
just Tina in there I might consider keeping her because she was pretty kick ass
on her own but he was a total douche and he beat her up and tried to control
her and he could have ruined her career. Good thing he didn’t because she
definitely paved the way for a lot of female artists. Too bad she was stupid,
married, and stayed with him for far too long. Since we can’t just kick out
half of a member, or part of a member I guess I am just going to have to get
rid of them as a whole. Sorry Tina, love ya, but really, what’s love got to do
with it?
Kevin: I
am going to throw out Neil Young
(14)
in honor of Barbaro.
Barbaro was a
Crazy Horse that won the Kentucky Derby in 2006 by a dominating six and a half
lengths. He was put down January 29, 2007 because he was unable to recover from
injuries and laminitis. Neil Young had met up and co-created a back-up band
called Crazy Horse in 1969. They suffered break-ups and make-ups through the
next several decades… that is why I have made the decision to euthanize Neil
Young from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Adam: In
1952 5 guys (later 6) got together and started singing on street corners to try
to make a buck. Turns out they made
quite the buck indeed as they turned out to be quite the successful group. The Dells (15) were one of
the first ever successful boy bands in history. This is exactly why they are being removed from the Hall. N’YNC, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, LFO,
B2K, Boyz II Men, Menudo, The Monkees, New Kids on the Block and O-Town are
just some of the wonderful baggage that The Dells left behind for us. Sure they never could’ve predicted that
their success would stem such mutant-crapfest bands as these but none the less,
had they not been successful there is a good chance we never would’ve had to
put up with Hanson. I rest my case.
Kevin: Have
you seen the hair on Martha and the
Vandellas (16)?
Ok, so the hairstyle of that period in American history allowed for such
atrocity, but every time I see a picture of the Vandellas gang, I am reminded
of the 1996 movie Mars Attacks and that was an awful movie.
Adam: Next
on my chopping block is Dusty
Springfield (17) whose real name is Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette
O’Brien. You really didn’t have enough
names, you had to go ahead and make one up for fun. People like you don’t need a stage name they need mental
help. So long Dusty tell Issac Haywood
Jimbo Steven Phillip Michael Hoffman III that you’ve been booted from the Rock
Hall.
Arica: This week I’m giving the boot to Isaac Hayes
(18). If South Park
can kill Chef, I can boot the voice of “Shaft.” As funny as it was I think he
totally jumped the shark when he agreed to sing about his chocolate salty
balls. And besides, in 1994 he was crowned the king of Ghana and I mean really,
when you’re the king of something, who needs the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?
Adam: Eric
Clapton is a fantastic guitarist and singer.
Now don’t get your panties in twist, I am not kicking him out. Yet.
The thing is though that he is in the Hall three times, once as a solo
artist, once with Cream and once with The Yardbirds. This is unacceptable; I should be allowed to kick out the
induction committee for this. No artist
is good enough to be in the Hall three times, not even Clapton. Eric was great on his own so he will stay
for now so it’s between Cream and The Yardbirds. It’s a tough call but I like the song “White Room” by Cream so
its goodbye to The Yardbirds
(19).
Arica: In Honor of the biggest night in Music – aka the
Grammy’s - I have chosen to reject The Police
(20). I feel that once a group’s lead
singer goes solo and becomes way more famous than the group ever was, there’s
no turning back. The group just isn’t going to work again. Can you name any
members of The Police besides Sting? Yeah, I didn’t think so. And so, in honor
of their “reunion” performance on Sunday night’s Grammys I’d like to say,
goodbye.
Kevin: I
am tossing Bo Diddley
(21). He got his start in Chicago and did some
awesome things. I came to Chicago to
get my start and ended up realizing I need to go back to Graduate School in
order to do amazing things. So you can
go screw yourself Diddley. It may not
be fair because there are probably several artists that got their start in
Chicago but you happened to be the first one I came across. Life can suck sometimes, huh?
Arica: This week out of sheer
laziness (it's a disease and its spread throughout the entire website staff) I
have chosen to reject Ruth Brown
(22). Why you
might ask? Well I've run out of witty rejections to recycle from when we first
held the rock and roll hall of fame rejection committee and quite frankly I
have no idea who the hell Ruth Brown is. Fresh out of college I spent four
years working at a radio group that owned seven stations covering pretty much
every format except country and I've never heard of this woman in my life. If
you ask me that's grounds for dismissal. Plus, I just got a shinny new laptop
and I want to waste time on it doing fun things before the novelty wears off,
not researching music industry has-been's, peace out hommie.
Kevin: Quick question, is the white room white because it is plastered with white cream or is it something else? And if it something else, what is it? You know what? I don't care, let's take the Clap one-step further Adam… good-bye Cream (23).
Adam: In addition
to being an inductee of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Buddy Guy
(24) has previously served on the Hall of Fame’s nominating committee. He has 5 Grammy’s 23 W.C. Handy Awards (more
than any other blues artist), he has Billboard Magazine’s The Century Award
(the 2nd recipient ever) for “Distinguished Artistic Achievement,”
he is the Greatest Living Electric Blues Guitarist, the 30th best
guitarist of all time according to Rolling Stone magazine and he has even won
the Congressional Medal of Arts (awarded by the President of the United States). In addition to all of that he now receives
Morning Show in my Mind’s prestigious 24th Rock and Roll Hall of
Fame Rejection. You have an enormous
list of accomplishments and I still can’t name a single song of yours. Sorry Buddy, but Who Are You? No that was by The Who, I still got nothing.
Kevin: Everyone may not know who Percy Sledge (25) is, but I think everyone knows "When A Man Loves a Women." That song by itself is the reason I am throwing him out. If you really love that song (and if you do, god help you), I will give you an additional reason. Crap leads to more crap, sappy cheesy R&B in one-generation leads to Michael Bolton in another generation. I rest my case.
Adam: Bill Medley
and Bobby Hatfield, they are neither righteous, nor brothers. The Righteous
Brothers (26) are gone.
Arica: For
this week’s rejection I've decided to get rid of Lynyrd Skynyrd
(27) because I hate them and they suck. And sometimes that's good enough.
Plus I really want to go watch American Idol... anyone else see the irony in
that statement?
Adam: To
get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you must be quite the artist. You not only need to be creative, but also
an amazing musician that has left a solid impression on Rock and Roll
forever. That brings me to this week’s
pick. The
Band (28), that’s your name, The Band.
That’s the legacy that you are leaving on Rock music, calling yourselves
the most unoriginal, uncreative, lamest name in the history of music, we’ll
someone needs to put a stop to it, The Band is now history.
Arica: This week I’d like to boot The Drifters (29) out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. For some reason, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has decided to revamp their website a bit making their page more lame than it was before thus sealing the deal for me. Peace out Drifters
Kevin: No band should be based on an acronym. That is my
personal philosophy, and until O.A.R. makes it into the RRHoF (which they never
will) it will stay that way. Why is it
I feel this way? I will give you the
DL. Let's take a look at Alternating
Current/Direct Current or more commonly known as AC/DC
(30). This band has gathered a crazy group of band
haters that interpret the AC/DC to mean things like After Christ the Devil
Comes or Anti Christ / Devil's Child.
If the band were to have just stayed away from the acronym, they could
stay in the Hall, but they didn't, so they won't. We don't need no Satan worshipers!
Arica: This week my rejection is directly related to American Idol. Idol, sadly, one of my favorite shows, has decided that this week they were going to make the contestants sing Diana Ross songs and it was just... just... well save for Melinda Dolittle who is amazing... incredibly sad. So basically since Diana Ross is not included in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on her own, I shall boot her girl group. The Supremes (31), it's been nice, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. Blame your lead singer for selling out.
Kevin: Again
with the acronyms (see last weeks pick).
This has got to stop. TTYL R.E.M.(32)
TTYL.
Adam: Grandmaster
Flash and the Furious Five (33), yeah I know they just got in and
that’s why I’m kicking them out. I
don’t want them to get too comfortable in there. It’s not the Rap Hall of Fame, sorry boys since you aren’t really
rockers you never should have gotten in the Hall in the first place. You are the weakest link . . . goodbye.
Kevin: Clyde
McPhatter (34) reminds me of
names such as Phil McCrackin. While
very funny the name doesn't belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Adam: Getting
the boot this week, Frankie Lymon
and the Teenagers (35), you can’t be teenagers forever and if you still tour when
you are no longer a teenager but you still call yourself one, it’s really
pathetic, sorry ba bye.
Arica:
This week I have chosen to get rid of Solomon Burke
(36) who was often referred to the King of Rock and Soul. I say pick one,
either you're the king of rock or you're the king of soul you can't be both.
And since this is the ROCK and roll hall of fame I think he should be kicked
out just for being confused. So yeah, goodbye.
Adam: The
date was August 18th 1969; the entire country was focused on 1
place, a small town in the middle of New York, Woodstock. One of the performers slated to appear and
sing was Joni Mitchell
(37).
If you look back at Woodstock though you will not find her name because
Joni decided that instead of performing at the most well known music festival in
history she would honor a prior commitment to be a guest on the Dick Cavett
Show. This thoughtless act deserves to
be punished. Now for the record, I’m
sure the hell she been though trying to forget that decision has been
punishment enough so I am not kicking her out of the Hall of Fame for that, I
am kicking her out of the Hall because after this tearful scenario Joni wrote
her most famous song, “Woodstock.” That
deserves punishment, you weren’t even there, you weren’t even there.
Arica: Okay, so our favorite bar
here in Buffalo is a great little dive in Amherst called Jack's place and
Jack's place has the greatest game over, the Trivia Machine. Adam and I have
repeatedly held the first place position in the music category but the last
couple of times we've gone there we keep getting the same question
wrong... what is the name of Patti
Smith's first album? The answer (which i will probably never forget ever again)
is Horses and for some reason we always choose either Elephants or Rabbits... I
couldn't tell you why, but its reason enough to say Patti Smith
(38), peace
out.
Kevin: My
mother is afraid of Birds. It's a
deep-rooted issue of having watched the Hitchcock movie a few too many times as
a child. (It has something to do with
the sound of the birds wings or something like that) My mother has also never
been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
When she drives from Central New York to Chicago to visit me (which she
has done numerous times) she passes right by the exit near the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame and yet she has never stopped to pay a visit. I believe the two observations are closely
related. If we were to throw out The Byrds (39) from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,
my mother might actually stop. Then
again maybe she won't, but we won't know the answer until The Byrds get the
boot. Scram Byrds, shoo!
Arica: This week I've chosen to
reject Chuck Berry
(40) simply
because on the list below, he's at the top and I’m still at work trying to get
sound into a damn power point presentation and... Well someone has to suffer.
So long Chuck, it's been fun.
Kevin: I was
taking a look at the list of leftovers and realized there are still a lot of
really awful bands still up there. Even
worse there are still groups that I have never even heard of. And when I start doing a little research, I
sometimes wish I could have those five minutes back. A group called Sam and Dave
(41)?
What kind of crap is that? I
know too many Sam's and too many Dave's.
I even know a Sam and a Dave that know each other and I really don't
like to hang out with them when they are together. Good bye Sam and Dave, we're better off without you in our lives.
Adam: I
just got off the phone with The Beach Boys
(42)
to consult them on my deal, stop performing or you are out of the Hall, they
rejected my offer so I am rejecting them from the Hall. I still maintain that this was a fair deal;
they had their chance to be famous for oh 40+ years now. The group now contains only 1 of the
original 5 members, 2 if you count one of the guys brought in to the band when
Brian Wilson became insane. Its out of
control, groups shouldn’t be allowed to do this sort of thing, its embarrassing. Part of being a legend is knowing when to
thrown in the towel. Wipeout boys.
Kevin: This
week Johnny Cash
(43)'s lakeside house burned down. What not a
better time to kick him while he is down?
Thanks for playing Cash.
Adam: OK I
feel that in the spirit of this contest I have left them in long enough. There have been plenty of better bands
kicked out before them and there will be plenty more after them but quite
frankly it’s time to say farewell to The
Eagles (44). The Eagles hold the record
for the top-selling album of all time.
Yeah The Eagles, you would think that honor would go to someone that
deserves it. They were the first band to
change over $100 for a ticket to arena shows paving the way for fans to get
raped by all their favorite artists.
After most bands realized that their fans would pay double what the
current rate was, guess what happened, they all went up, thanks Eagles. They even had a show in Dalls in ’01 where
the best seats went for over $1500. Yea
greed. In addition to these, the band
actually sued the American Eagle Foundation, a charity dedicated to saving the
birds that the band is named after, for using the domain name eagles.org and
the phone number 1-800-2eagles. These
both could easily be confused with the bands website and phone number,
please. God forbid one of their fans
accidentally stumbles across a charities website instead of their own. Thankfully this case was dismissed when the
band couldn’t make their court appearances.
These are all fantastic reasons to kick them out but I am kicking them
out purely because I hate them, someone needs to blow up Hotel California and
it might as well be me. The Eagles are
now extinct.
Arica: Taking Adam's lead from last week I'd like to boot The Four
Seasons (45).
I'm in New York City right now on a business trip and last night I happened to
have the pleasure of seeing a great off Broadway musical called "Forbidden
Broadway SVU" (THANKS KAYLA!) where they did a great little roast of the
Four Seasons inspired show "Jersey Boys" was just too funny to let
slide. Besides, who wants to be from Jersey anyway... Four Seasons go ahead and
walk like a man (lame pun intended)
right out of the Hall of Fame.
Adam: Nobody
looks good in Tie-Dye. Nobody. What a long strange trip it’s been The Grateful
Dead (46) are now gone.
Arica: This week on American Idol
Sanjaya sang Bonnie Raitt's (47) "Something To Talk About" and as always
it was absolutely horrid. Well I finally got my wish and Sanjaya was booted
from American Idol so I figured we'd bid a fond farewell to Bonnie as well. All
I have to say is thank god it's over.
Kevin: I
asked "where is Water and Heart?"
Earth,
Wind & Fire (48) could
not give me a straight answer.
Then I asked "Did you know that without them Captain Planet does
not exist?"
Earth, Wind & Fire turned and walked away.
I said "Don't turn your back on Captain Planet! I will throw you out of the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame!"
And that my
friends, is what I did.
Arica: This week I have decided
to give the big ol' boot to Van Halen
(49). Because
quite honestly, they sucked. I'm not quite sure if they were trying to be
America's Rolling Stones or even a more modern version or The Beatles, either
way they were pretty lame and they don't deserve to be on this list.
Kevin: Gene Pitney
(50) has to go. I didn't even know who this guy was until I
read about him. After I read about him,
I decided it was time for him to go. In
fact, he should have left a long time ago.
A songwriter decides he can be a singer, but is mostly known for
overdubbing, splicing, and cutting music deserves no home in the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame. He needs to return to his
parent’s basement.
Adam: Saturday
Night Fever is one of the greatest soundtracks of all time, but the thing is
its not rock. The Bee Gees
(51) are
arguably the best disco band ever but this is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
not the Disco Hall of Fame, sorry you are the weakest link, goodbye.
Kevin: I
had the worst Monday in the history of Man Kind. I am not going to go into
details. The date was April 30th and therefore I have made up a way to throw
someone out. Life isn't far, as I have
learned from that awful day, so this may seem a little unfair to Bobby Darin
(52). From the List of names that were
still in as of April 20th? I took 12 months and subtracted 4 (month of April)
giving me 8. I timed that by 7 (for the
year) and I subtracted 30 (the day):
(12 - 4) x 7 - 30 = 26.
And that would be... Bobby Darin!
Hey man, tough break, but at least your wife was a virgin when you
married her!
Adam: Sly
doesn’t get into the hall without the Family Stone, Petty was with the
Heartbreakers, Costello and the Attractions, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Martha
Reeves with the Vandellas, Frankie had his Teenagers, hell even Grandmaster
Flash had his Furious Five, every great artist needs their supporting cast to
get to the hall. It’s actually an
insult to induct someone without the people who got them their. So without The Comets, Bill Haley
(53) doesn’t deserve to even walk into
the Hall of Fame. Without them you are
nothing, sorry Bill ba bye.
Arica: So this week I've decided to get rid of The Four Tops (54) because... well I don't
really like the number 4.