Advice from Geri and Paula

Everyone needs advice, especially you.  Send your questions to us and we’ll have our friends Geri and Paula give you some.  The questions can be asking for advice in any way about any topic.

 

Dear Geri and Paula,

 

        I need a girlfriend badly.  The trouble is I am currently seeing two girls that are exact opposites.  One is extremely gorgeous but for the most part brain dead, while the other is not really attractive at all but probably the smartest person I know.  Which one should I pursue?

 

-         Undecided in Utica

 

 

Undecided,

 

Go for the third.

 

-Geri and Paula

 

 

Dear Geri and Paula,

 

        What should I have for dinner tonight?

 

- Hungry in Hamburg

 

 

Hungry,

 

          A hamburger and fries.

 

-Geri and Paula

 

 

Dear Geri and Paula,

 

        I smell gas, what should I do?  Should I be worried?

 

- Steve in New York City

 

 

Steve,

 

          Don’t eat so much broccoli that should do it.

 

-Geri and Paula

 

 

Dear Geri and Paula,

 

        One of my coworkers drinks a lot of coffee and smokes a lot of cigarettes.  She likes to come and give me assignments shortly after she takes her “breaks.”  She smells terrible.  How do I let her know without being rude?

 

-         Breathless in Buffalo

 

 

Breathless,

 

Get your assignments before her “breaks” and get her some Tic-Tacs.

 

-Geri and Paula

 

 

Dear Geri and Paula,

 

        I am a college freshman and I live in the dorms.  While I am attempting to sleep my roommate is constantly jerking off.  I can’t sleep when he’s doing this because he’s kind of loud.  I have tried throwing things at him, shoes, the TV remote, my stapler, even an alarm clock, nothing works, he just keeps whacking away.  Since I can’t get him to stop, I’ve decided to lend him a hand . . .

. . . should I get him Playboy or Penthouse?

 

- Sleepless in Syracuse

 

 

Sleepless,

 

          Are you kidding, get him both, in fact get him Hustler too.

 

-Geri and Paula