| JOURNEY OUT OF MORMONISM AND INTO THE ARMS OF JESUS Janet |
| that I would change my mind. Miraculously, their prayers would work quickly. About a month later while driving to work, I was playing a tape by Nicole Nordeman, a Christian singer. I had purchased this tape before my journey back into Mormonism. As this song Played, the words really touched my heart. |
| It's well past midnight And I'm awake with questons that won't Wait for daylight Separating fact from my imaginary fiction On this shelf of my conviction I need to find a place Where You and I come face to face Thomas needed Proof that You had really risen Undefeated When he placed his fingers Where the nails once broke Your skin Did his faith finally begin? I've lied if I've denied The common ground I've shared with him And I, I really want to know You I want to make each day A different way that I can show You how I really want to love You Be patient with my doubt I'm just trying' to figure out Your will And I really want to know You still Nicodemus Could not understand how You could Truly free us He struggled with the image Of a grown man born again We might have been good friends "Cause sometimes I still question, too How easily we come to You No more campin' on the porch of indecision No more campin' on the porch on indecision No more sleepin' under stars of apathy And it might e easier to dream But dreamin's not for me. |
| God literally touched my heart with this song and I began crying uncontrollably and saying out loud "what am I doing??? How can I deny my Savior???". The scales literally fell from my eyes during that drive to work and little did I know that in 2 days I would be permanently born again. I remember having a really hard time concentrating on work that day. 2 days later while again driving to work, I heard a voice inside of me say "go to Calvary Chapel in Albuquerque". This was really strange to me because I knew nothing about this Church. I had no idea it was a vibrant, exciting group of believers with a renouned Senior Pastor named Skip Heitzig. But God knew what I needed and he led me right where he wanted me to be. This time I did not ignore the voice in my head and attended Wednesday night worship/Bible study. I was scared and tried to anonymously blend in with a crowd. I didn't know what to expect...I worried that people might be screaming out or talking in tongues. But the people around me looked normal, but had a special glow that I hadn't seen before. When the service started, we sang the most wonderful songs...the Holy Spirit was so strong and unlike anything I had ever felt before. I was so full of warmth and the Love of God...tears fell down my cheeks as I finally submitted my life and heart to Jesus. Completely. No holding back, no trying to fit God into my liberal beliefs. I completely wanted to do God's will in my life. I was finally born again!! I truly believe that God allowed me to go back into Momronism ot reignite the desire I once had to be in a ministry to inform Christians of the beliefs of this cult. And I know that it was God who reached down and yanked me out before I got into it too deeply. I can almost picture my Savior pulling me out of the abyss, saying "oh no Satan, THIS ONE'S MINE. You almost got her once and you're not getting her again!" My life has changed so much...what blessings I have experienced. God knew exactly what I needed and gave it to me when the time was right. I no longer have to wrestle with trying to duplicate my devotion to Mormonism. I have such a love for Jesus now and it is beyond compare with anything I ever felt in the spiritual darkness of Mormonism. The love of Jesus is full of divine light and ourlives reflect that love when we give our hearts to Jesus. I thank God every day for saving me and pray that he can use me to warn others. May God bless the Mormon people and lead them to the true saving Grace of Jesus. Janet Mertz-Hill |