6th June 2004Morley College F.C Tour Awards 2004
The prestigious Morley tour awards were presented at a glittering ceremony in The Barnham Bridge Inn. Glamorous local celebrity Lisa gave out the prizes, which the Morley heroes received with as much dignity as they could muster in their hungover state.
Prizewinners were as follows...
| Player of the Tour | Richard Cowley (actually a tie with Chris Nosworthy, which Cowley won in a �spoof-off� | |
| Prat of the Tour | Debutant Steve Blantz, for excessive enthusiasm followed by copious vomiting | |
| B52 Award | Rick Parsons, for repeated phone calls the Chris� girlfriend, falling comatose while urinating into a hedge, and generally inappropriate behaviour for one of such advanced years | |
| Tour Stud | Kev �I never kissed her� Crout | |
| Stroppy Bastard | For calling the lovely Lisa �a fat minger�, and refusing to apologise | |
| Most Unhygienic Tourist | Darren Vowles � smelly bastard | |
| Chunder Champion | Neil West � puking on the bedroom floor, without even attempting to get to the sink | |
| Sleeping Beauty | Neil West (again) � slept all day Saturday and Sunday | |
| The Mouldy Boot | Steve Blantz � missed an open goal from about 2 yards | |
| Beer Cadet | Steve Blantz � talked a good game, but showed his inexperience with a technicolour yawn | |
| Nightmare of the Tour | Steve Blantz (again) � for reasons already explained | |
| The Geoff Norton Tanktop Award | Dave Parsons - for wearing testicle-revealing shorts | |
| The Jinxy Coleman Words of Wisdom Award | Neil West � for spouting his usual mindless crap | |
| The Battered Husband Award | A tie between Rick Parsons (for continually phoning Chris� girlfriend) and Chris Nosworthy, won by Rick in a �spoof-off� | |
| The Timmy Clayton Flatulence Award | Darren Vowles � very impressive farting all weekend! |
Just for the record, the tour football results were as follows.
Angmering 0�1 Morley
South Bersted 4-2 Morley
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