"She�s dead because of you!" Jason kept rolling Sonny�s words around and around in his head. Lord knows it wasn�t anything he hadn�t told himself over and over again but hearing it from his boss, best friend, brother, mentor . . that sliced through him like nothing ever had before. He knew Sonny was hurting and he couldn�t fault him with that. At this very moment Jason would have given anything to be what everyone accused him of being: a cold, heartless, emotionless non-human. Things would be so much easier that way.
He had failed Courtney in more ways than one. He had left her unprotected. What�s worse . . . on the way back from watching Brenda fly out of his life, he�d realized that something was missing in his relationship with Courtney. He couldn�t put his finger on it, but he knew one of the vital elements of a relationship wasn�t there. A feeling akin to guilt seeped through him. Maybe if he hadn�t started thinking along those lines, Courtney would still be here. Maybe if he hadn�t been thinking of Brenda so much . . .
Brenda. She�d called yesterday morning. He�d been able to hide his shock at hearing her voice, but everything inside him wanted to scream "Come home! Be with me! Help me get through this!" Instead, he�d cut her off and promised to call later. He couldn�t kid himself. If Brenda did come home it wouldn�t be for him. It would be for Sonny. He didn�t know why that bothered him so much but he did know that after the events of the past few days . . . that would break him. He pushed away from the window and headed up the stairs to his room. He needed to steel himself to get ready for the funeral.
"Oh God, this is nuts. I�m nuts." Brenda muttered to herself as she headed to the baggage terminal to collect her suitcase. After her phone call to Jason the other night, a quick check on the internet had indeed confirmed the fact that one Courtney Matthews had been pulled out of the river - dead. It hadn�t taken long after that for her to reserve a flight back to Port Charles. Flying had been nerve wracking enough but she thanked her lucky stars that she hadn�t had any more hallucinations while on the plane.
"You should probably head straight to the funeral."
Brenda jumped at the voice over her shoulder. "Aaaaagh!" She took several deep, steadying breaths when she noticed other passengers staring at her strangely. "Sorry. I thought I saw a mouse." She offered a fake smile. "You really need to quit doing that." She whispered through gritted teeth.
"The funeral starts in thirty minutes."
Brenda grabbed her suitcase and headed for the car rental counter. "Maybe I�d have more time if you�d booked me on the ghost express with you instead of making me fly on that god-awful contraption." she muttered. "And don�t talk to me in public because I have this really bad habit of answering you back." Ten minutes later she was in a car and heading away from the airport. Thinking herself to be alone, she was suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation. She�d never particularly like Courtney, but she hadn�t hated her either. She didn�t bother wiping away the stray tears that escaped her eyes and rand down her cheeks. She could only imagine how much Jason must be hurting right now . . and Sonny. God, she hadn�t even thought of Sonny!!
"Sonny has Carly, he�ll be okay."
"It�s really hard to mourn you when you won�t go away." Brenda sniffed. "But since you�re here, maybe you should tell me where I�m going." She couldn�t believe she was actually accepting the fact that she was talking to a ghost! Some strange things had happened in her life but this . . . this topped it all.
Courtney directed her to St. Timothy�s church, telling her the service would be grave side. Brenda didn�t even want to think about the irony of going back to that particular church and said nothing as she pulled into the parking lot by the graveyard. Across the way she could see a large gathering of people standing behind and around a casket. She spotted Jason on the other side of Carly and her heart suddenly felt like dead weight in her chest.
"Do you think you could stay in the car? I don�t think I can handle having you stand behind me while I�m viewing you in your coffin." She said softly. Courtney remained motionless in the passenger seat. "Thanks." Taking a deep breath, Brenda reached for the handle and began getting out of the car.
Jason had noticed the strange car pull up but the mockingly bright sun made it difficult for him to see who it was. Without being too obvious, he strained to see who this newcomer was. His jaw dropped about the same time that Sonny made out the figure. "Brenda." She was walking straight toward them with her head held high, like she was a woman on a mission.
Forgetting that his wife was right beside him, Sonny moved to hug his ex. "I�m so glad you came," he murmured as she got closer, but Brenda�s eyes connected with Jason and never left his. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. What was she doing here? Not even conscious of her decision Brenda sidestepped Sonny, walked right up to Jason and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "I�m so sorry." She whispered into his ear. . . .