Dear Frodo,
Hi Frodo. How is Frodo. What is up Frodo. My name isn't Frodo. It's Ann. My name is Ann. Frodo is a much more intersting name than Ann, but its not a good thing. ANn is a better name.
Theres a dude named Elijah Wood that looks like you. Yup, almost identical. Not wuite though. Actually, yeah. Pretty Identical. Dude, have you seen Liberty Kids? It's great. Actually, no, its pretty stupid. It's like 1700s and thers news!! Its LNN and it makes us play stupid games.
How's that whole Ring thing going? You know that dude with long blonde hair? You know, the guy who always seems to be pointing a bow? Thers this dude, Orlando Bloom, who looks sorta kinda like him. Except his hair is dark. He is SO hot. Orlando Bloom I mean. The blond guy with the bow is weird looking. Kind of cute though. Actually, he's pretty hot. But not as hot as Orlando Bloom. If I could whistle on paper, I'd whistle now. You know how people whistle when they see someone hot? That kind of whistle.
Bye Dude~
Write me back dude~
ANN NEWBERG
Dear Thranduil,
How are you father? How is Mirkwood? My journey has been a treacherous one. I am constantly surrounded by people who are much shorted and much less pretty than me. I swear, Gimli son of Gloin would be so much more bearable with a good face wash and hair gel!! The ring bearer, in the beginning, was a total cutie, but then I realized he is quite cozy with that dirty gardener. Imagine! He left for for some time alone awhile ago and hasn't returned. I don't want to know what he and Sam are doing... I suspect the worst. I keep getting attacked by orcs. They're just jealous of my looks!! The orcs could use a good scrub down. They are so ugly it's like looking at Boromir all day. I suspect the orcs killed him because they were defending their title as ugliest beings in middle earth!! I, of course, am the prettiest here. Gotta go, orcs are trying to force Aragorn to wash his hair. I must aid the effort.
~Sincerely, Legolas~
Hey Bilbo.
Its Frodo. I'm on the slopes of a big mountain. With Sam, and Gollum. The ring hurts. Really bad. Luckily, Sam is kind enough to treat my wounds. The foot massages were a little un-nerving, but I will not presume, as I am an innocent Hobbit from the Shire. How is Rivendell? Watch out for Elrond, he has a tendency to grope. And Arwen has been away from Aragorn too long!! Well the journey just sucks. Its so obvious that Gollum fancies me. He is beginning to get irksome. I have the weirdest urge to push him off a cliff just to see him scream. Well, I have a ring to deliver to Mount Doom. Bye
~Frodo, son of Drogo Baggins.~