8/2/00
Home Again
To everyone who's been keeping up with my diary, I owe you an apology. I went on vacation and I never got a chance to write an entry explaining my absence. I was on vacation in Cape Cod for 5 days, where I had no access to a computer. It was a pretty bad trip. It rained most of the time and it was cold.
However, something funny happened in Massachusetts during those days. A ten year old girl was kidnapped, raped, and strangled by a teenage boy and left for dead in a dumpster. Sadly, she survived and went for help. They arrested the boy and are considering trying him as an adult. Stories like that really warm my heart. It lets me know I'm not the only other pedophilic teen in our fair nation.
I was a bit worried, though. I was a bit paranoid that someone from home might hear about it and report me to police. Luckily, I didn't match the description, had an airtight alibi, and they caught the real perpetrator. Still, it would have been a hassle. Oh well, that's life, right?
Severance
I'm used to back-stabbers and liars. All my life, people have tried to use my emotional fragility and gullibility against me. For some reason, people think they can take advantage of me without repurcussions. Everyone from my parents to my closests friends have deceived me and manipulated me during my lifetime. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I'm as screwed-up as I am. Perhaps not, I don't know. I'm just trying to explain that I have been mistreated all my life. Now, I'm not going to stand for it.
John and Jason stabbed me in the back, making me lose all faith in them and making me realize what a fool I've been. Here's the story:
I was online and talking to Jenn, the sweet girl who I've recently had a bit of a crush on. Neither of us was doing anything, so I asked her if she wanted to hang out. She agreed. Her boyfriend was also online at Jason's house with John. Mike, John, and Jason were together. I told them I was going to pick up Jenn and bring her over so we could all hang out.
Something was wrong, though. Mike did not respond to my IM's, even though he was online. Eventually, he was disconnected for idleness. Jenn was still online. She told me she had to go to the mall and would meet me at Jason's at 5 - 5:30. So, I went over to Jason's. They were all gone. I ended up waiting there for about two hours for Jenn, but she never came.
Using deductive reasoning, I have pieced together the most likely scenario. Jason and John, knowing I like Jenn, decided they had to keep her away from me. They took Mike and got her before she could rendezvous with me. They left the computer on to create the illusion that they were still at home, so I would not get suspicious. Basically, they conspired to screw me over and keep me away from the girl I like.
After I got home from vacation, my friend Matt called me on the phone. He told me that Jason and John had told Mike and Jenn that I liked her and waited her for my own girlfriend. They are both "pissed" at me, according to Matt. So, I have decided to sever my friendships with all four of them. I will not see John or Jason or speak to them again. It's harder to avoid Mike, so I will be coldly polite when dealing with him. I'm giving up on my efforts with Jenn. There no way she'll ever like me.
I really hate people like them. People who are self-righteous and do stupid things because they believe it's the moral thing to do. People like that can never look at a situation from all sides. They think they are right and will do anything in their power to stop those they think are doing wrong. John and Jason are just pathetic do-gooders, acting on some heroic impulse to save the damsel in distress.
John and Jason never considered that I deserve Jenn more than Mike does. He is only going to break her heart because he is selfish and callous. They don't realize what an absolute bastard Mike is. However, from one evil person to another, I have to congratulate Mike. He's done a great job of fooling everyone. They all think he's a nice, outgoing guy but they're wrong. I know they're wrong. He knows they're wrong.
On another note, when I went over to Jason's that fateful day, I had a suspicion that something was amiss. So, I brought along a weapon just in case I needed to beat the shit out of them. I didn't have to, because I never found them, but I keep it in my car in case. In an odd way, I hope I get arrested and committed. I know I need it. I can't hold out for long, but I don't want to spend my life in prison.
This event, however, has made me realize what an absolutely pussy John is. I knew Jason was a good person, but I hoped that John might have some vestiges of evil. He always talks about being angry and wanting to kill people. This whole Jenn Affair has proven that he is just as weak and pathetic as Jason. Also, on the night that I tried to strangle Laura, he used force to stop me. Yeah, he's pretty tough, huh? They all disgust me.
So, in light of recent events, I am now a free agent again, without ties to any particular group. I think I'm going to remain friendless until I have to leave for college. Then, I'll start over. Always a second chance.