7/27/00
The Doom Brigade
"The Doom Brigade" is the title of a book I finished reading moments ago. It's in a series of books called DragonLance. I admit it's cheesey fantasy, but it's really the only pleasure I have in life, so I hope you can understand. Anyway, in this book, a troop of lizard-men warriors are on a mission, which they can't possibly survive. Their leader mentally calls them "The Doom Brigade."
I suggested to Don Juan that we call our group of roving serial killers the Doom Brigade. He thought it sounded good, but I wouldn't want us to be sued for plagiarism or anything. Just kidding. Actually, I don't like using something unoriginal. Don Juan continues to insist that we should allow girls in our group. I continue to argue against it. Women are weak and stupid. They have no place in our group, except as our victims. Yet, Don Juan, in his unslakable thirst for torture, wants to keep women around as slaves for his own personal amusement. Obviously, this creates problems for me because I don't want women around and I would be kept awake by screams.
He had an interesting idea, however. He suggested that we move out to Utah and buy a large plot of land and build a house in the middle. That would be our headquarters. Don Juan could keep his slaves in a sound-proof dungeon and torture them whenever he wanted. He mentioned wanting to have "wives" which would be like girlfriends to help him torture. I guess he gets a kick out of that. I still don't want women hanging around.
Except for one.
This is my plan: on one of our cross-state excursions to find victims, I find a beautiful woman and bring her back with us. I get her pregnant. Then, I keep her alive and healthy until the baby is born. If it's a girl, I kill her and keep the baby. (I don't know what I'll do if it's a boy. I'm hoping to cross that bridge when I come to it.) Anyway, after she's dead, I'll raise the girl as my own daughter/lover and teach her to be just like me. She will be my closest companion: my daughter, my wife, my best friend, and my accomplice. I'm not going to torture her. I'm going to be sweet and gentle with her, finally having the relationship I've always wanted.
I had a plan to do this in real life once. I wanted to kidnap a girl named Dary and chain her up in a shack out in the woods. I would impregnate her and then kill her once the baby was born. Then, I would bring the baby back, claiming I had found it in a dumpster or something. I would be a hero and I would keep the baby for my own. And, of course, no one would ever hear from Dary again.
The Doom Brigade means something else to me, though. I imagine an army of soldiers dedicated to eradicated all human life from the planet. I am obsessed with the idea of Apocalypse (as long as I don't die.) I love the idea of living all alone on the Earth, without any girls to distract me or men to oppose me. Don Juan complains, pointing out that I couldn't have sex with anyone. I don't think my current situation is any different! I'm not getting laid anyway, I just have the stupid bitches around to tease me and torment me.
Let me end this entry on a spiteful note: I really despise women.