When I hit my early teens (about the same time my menstrual cycle started kicking in) the migraines began. For those who have never had a migraine, imagine feeling as though one entire quarter of your head/face was about to explode. Your forehead, your eye, your jaw, everything in that area of your head having this terrible enormous pressure from the inside throbbing. Every little bit of light makes it worse, every sound makes it worse, moving your feet makes it worse, your head throbs and pounds so badly it makes you nauseous, you can't stand, you can barely stand to move, it makes you want to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry, which will (of course) only make it worse, until you reach the point of having to roll off of wherever you've found to lie down in order to crawl to the toilet and be sick. I began these debilitating migraines in my early teens, and they have continued to this day. In the early days, there wasn't much to be done about them but suffer.

My freshman year in High School, I was running down the hall one day (late for class, ya know!) and slipped and fell flat on my bottom!!! Sent a jolt up through my spine like I couldn't believe. That was about halfway through the school day. By the end of the day the pain that had begun in my tailbone had slowly worked its way up to my neck, and I suddenly found myself unable to turn my head. I spent the next two days at home in bed and then off to the chiropractor. I had bruised my tailbone, tilted my pelvic bone (right side was 1 inch higher than the left side) twisted several vertebrae, and the vertebrae in my neck were now straight up and down rather than curving. I belive this was the start of the MPS that I'm sure I also have (my chiro and physical therapist think so, also).

1991 - I began having lower abdominal pains shortly after graduating from high school and eventually was scheduled for laproscopy to try to find a cause. One doctor insisted that I had PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) and said the only way I could have developed it was if I had first had either Gonorrhea or Chlamydia. He tested me for each 4 times, with each and every one coming back negative. He still insisted, however, that I had PID, and that due to the extended amount of time I'd been having pain, my tubes were almost definintely blocked with scar tissue, and I'd never be able to have children (he determined all this without having the surgery). Needless to say, my young naive self took what he said to be the truth, and I became terribly depressed, lost my appetite, and went from an already small-ish 135 pounds (at 5 foot 7 inches) down to about 110 pounds. I was sick constantly. We never got around to doing the laproscopy, due to the upcoming news . . .

In April, 1993, I became pregnant with my daughter, Emma. For the first time ever I had a fair break from my migraines. Instead of several a month, I had about 3 in the nine months of my pregnancy. Although I had "morning sickness" off and on through most of my pregnancy, I was thrilled to death that I was having a baby (which I immediately knew was a girl, and an ultrasound later confirmed). After 4 days of leaking amniotic fluid and having contractions, Emma was born on Sunday, December 26, 1993, at 11:40 am, weighing a petite 5 pounds 10 ounces.

A few weeks after Emma was born, I began having pain in my forearms. They continually got weaker and weaker, and I finally decided it was time to go to the doctor when I tried to pick Emma up from her crib and the pain was so terrible I dropped her. The inital diagnosis was Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I began Occupational Therapy, and was scheduled for a test to be done to determine for certain if it was CTS or not. (This is not something you want to experience - the test!!! It was horrendous, to say the least.) The test was done, with the results coming back to say I did **not** have Carpal Tunnel!! So, there I was with more pain without a cause!!

October, 1994, I finally had the laproscopy done, since the pains I'd been having had returned. There was, of course, nothing found to be wrong. They could find no cause for my pain. And I was becoming very frustrated. Through all this, I have still been seeing my chiropractor on and off, usually for my SI joint which was injured in my fall in high school, and just wasn't seeming to get better. I also began physical therapy for an old injury to my shoulder that had suddenly begun bothering me again for no apparent reason.

Over the next couple of years, I continued - off and on - to have pain in my shoulder, lower abdomen, neck (I also had whiplash twice from car accidents), low back/SI joint, and my migraines. I also had the most terrible menstrual cramps.

In August, 1997, I got pregnant with my second child. My son was due on May 25, 1998, but was apparently very impatient, as he was born 15 weeks premature. Sean Eric Fox came into the world on Thursday, February 12, 1998, at 10:59 pm, weighing only 1 pound 6 ounces. I spent the next 81 days back and forth from home to the NICU and pumping breastmilk for my son. He came home on Sunday, May 4, 1998, 21 days before his due date.

Over the next couple of years, I seemed to get progressively worse. July, 1999, I injured my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I went through therapy for that, and it improved. However, by the beginning of 2000, I felt as though I was falling apart. My back seemed to hurt constantly, my shoulder was hurting again, I was constantly tired no matter how much or how little sleep I got, the muscles in my shoulders were in constant knots, my migraines were becoming unbearable, and there seemed to no reason behind any of it, and nothing to fix it.

In February, 2000, Welsh MoonSpirit, my best friend of the past 20+ years, was told she most likely had developed Fibromyalgia after a back injury at work. I had no idea what that was, so I started looking it up on the internet so I knew what my friend was dealing with. The more I read, the more I began to realize that this sounded like me. She thought the same thing. I attempted to talk to my doctor about it, but he didn't seem to want to discuss the possibility with me. I brought it up with my chiropractor, who said he felt I'd have Myofascial Pain Syndrome, instead. Finally I made an appointment to see a Rheumatologist, the only ones able to officially give a diagnosis of FMS.

March, 2000 - I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome. I was ecstatic!!! Most people think I'm odd for feeling that way since there's no cure at this time, but the way I looked at it, I finally had some answers. I now knew why I was always tired, why I always hurt, I finally knew for certain it wasn't "all in my head" and I wasn't a "hypochondriac" like my mother had always said. As part of the process of diagnosing this "invisible disease", I was tested for different forms of arthritis, lupus, and other diseases/disorders. They had to be ruled out before a diagnosis of FMS could actually be made. Then, I was started on my medications.

My meds consist currently of 20 mg of Prozac in the morning (to help control the terrible mood swings I had during menstruation, etc.), and at bedtime I take 25 mg of Amitriptyline, 10 mg of Flexeril, and Propoxyphene or Ibuprofen. The Amitriptyline is to help me sleep better, and the Flexeril and Propoxyphene are to get rid of some of the pain I experience when I wake up in the morning because of my muscles stiffening during the night. I have also been going to physical therapy to work on muscle strengthening, and receiving some massage therapy, also.

Two of the things I found to be very helpful in learning about FMS were joining Fibrom-L and reading Dr. Devin's book: Fibromyalgia and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome; A Survivor's Manual.

On Thursday, June 29, 2000, I was issued a Thera Cane for the first time. So far, it seems to be something that will be of great benefit to me. I have tried it a couple times already, and have noticed a bit of difference in some of my tighter muscles.

Wednesday, July 19, 2000 - So far, the TheraCane seems to be going okay. I have a new problem, now, though. It seems as though I have recently begun having either panic or anxiety attacks. I will be sitting here, doing whatever I'm doing, feeling perfectly fine, and all of a sudden my heart starts beating like mad and I feel like the world's falling apart. It scares the hell out of me!! I'm going to talk to my doctor about it soon. I don't want to start another medication, but I did hear from one member of the FMily who said when she began experiencing similar attacks, her doctor increased her Prozac dosage and that was enough to control it. So, I'll see if that's an option for me, also. I'll keep you updated.

Friday, March 22, 2002 - It's been a couple years since I've updated on this. So, although this isn't the best point in time for an update, here goes . . .

I have a constant pain in my upper neck that has been there for approximately 10 months now. The attacks mentioned previously had eventually gone away, only to return with a vengence several months ago. I spoke with my doctor about them, and was prescribed Pazil, which has helped immensely.

My migraines have become quite frequent, and at times utterly intolerable. I am using Imitrex injectins and tablets when the occur, and am going through it like it's going out of style.

I have reached a point where most normal daily things I need to do are difficult at varying levels and in cause pain in varying places. It becomes more and more difficult to deal with. I feel, at times, as though I'm not the mother my children deserve to have, as I do not have the energy to do things with them, and am often too depressed to care about doing much.

My marriage suffers frequently, also, as I do not have the energy like I did before for different things, whether it be simply going out with my husband, or being intimate. And the latter frequently is a painful thing for me. My husband does his best to be loving and understanding, but I wonder at times if I am more needy than he is able to handle. He does his best to give me massages, trying to work out the knots in my muscles, but they are simply more stubborn than either of us, and refuse to stay gone for long. I hope that one day insurance companies will see the importance of massage therapy in FMS patients and make it a covered option for certain cases such as this.

I have, however, found a wonderful new FibroFamily at FibroHugs. They have some great message boards filled with loving and caring people. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for somewhere to turn for support and understanding.

Hopefully my next update will have a little better news on it.

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