RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good
food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in
3. I take my wife everywhere... But she
keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our Anniversary. "Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She
said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought
her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the
carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
garbage?". The driver said "No, jump
in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it.........this is the good
old days
When humor didn't have to start with a four letter word...... Just clean and simple fun.