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An Interview with . . . Sauron

*Entering a cold room at the side of Sauron and the Witchqueen's parlour in Barad-Dur, I came face-to-face with our mighty ruler, Sauron. The room is scattered with body pieces and blood stains are slashed up the walls and this will be the place where I will conduct a hard hitting interview with our evil ruler*

Elberone: Initially, My Lord, I would like to thank you for conducting this interview with us at the Mordor Herald.

Sauron: No problem, but can we hurry up as I have got some searching to do for something I have lost!

Elberone: Of Course, off with the first question then! This first question is being asked on behalf of Alkthoniel (Galadriel), "What colour are your underwear?"

Sauron: My underwear is black, of course it is black. Not only does it reflect my nature and purpose, but it hides any unfortunate mishaps that may occur, not
that they do of course, but it is better to be safe than sorry in this
haphazard world of ours. Plus, they are always clean. Apparently, my mother
could never show her face in public were I to be knocked down by a horse and
cart and killed. Silly woman.

Elberone: Right . . . Next question is asked by Aldibibable, "Do you think that Lord Indur would look good dressed as a fairy?"

< < <*(Thank You to the Witchqueen for giving us this photo of Sauron)*

Sauron: Hmmm. Lord Indur dressed as a fairy? Well, he looked good as a fluffy bunny and as a turtle. Turbo or not, the turtle was the most evil of his incarnations. As a fairy, well, I can certainly picture him as a fairy, though we will not go into that. I have it on good authority however that he does in fact have a tutu in his closet, among other things.

Elberone: Lorinth Medusul asks, "Did it hurt when you disentegrated after losing the ring?"

Sauron: It hurt like hell. The only part worse was re-integrating. Like a very complicated jigsaw it was. Never try it is my advise to your readers, the smallest detail can cause the biggest problems. I got my little toe-nail and little finger-nail mixed up and had the latter in-growing into the former for weeks. Agonizing.

Elberone: "Did you let Miss Luthy decorate Barad-Dur?", asks Seregon aka. Vana

Sauron: I didn’t let Miss Luthy decorate Barad-Dur, she went ahead and did it anyways, as women will. They don’t wait for permission you know, they ask you afterwards. It’s what they think of as cunning, they do something and then when their husband arrives home, they give it a bit of… “ Dear Dark Lord, I have toiled endlessly in the pursuit of creating the perfect living quarters for us. I hope you like it for I have invested much of your wealth and I think it’s great.”… It doesn’t leave a guy much room for manoeuvre.

Elberone: And the final question for this edition comes once again from Seregon, and she asks, "How are you preparing for World Domination?"

Sauron: Lots of candles and one of those things for your keys that beeps when you whistle so you don’t lose them. That would be silly, controlling the world and not being able to do anything with it cos' you lost the keys.

*You can read the second part of this exclusive interview with Sauron in the next edition of the Mordor Herald! From me, Elberone in Barad-Dur, have a very good month and I'll see you in Edition #14*