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To: The Almighty a.k.a Elohim from: The Jews a.k.a The chosen people Re: Our contract As you are aware, the contract made between you and Abraham is up to renewal . We, the jews ( The chosen people) have decided that we really do not wish to renew it. You know that there is nothing in writing and contrary to popular beliefs, we (the chosen one's) have not realy benefitted too much from this arrangement. if you go back to the early years of our arrangement, it definitely started off on the wrong footing. Not only was Israel and Judea invaded almost every year, but we went to enormous expense to erect not one but two Temples and they were both destroyed. All we have now is a pile of old stones called the Western Wall (of course you know all that but we feel it's a good thing to account for all the reasons we wish to terminate the contract). After all the above we were sold off as slaves to Egypt , (of all countries) and really lost a few hundreds years of development. We realize of course that you went to a great deal of trouble to send Moses to lead us out of Egypt. However, reflecting those years, we do not understand why it took almost forty years to make a trip that El-Al now does in 75 minutes. Also, for years now we have asked why Moses led us left instead of right at Sinai?! Imagine, if he had gone right, we would have had the OIL!!! OK, so the oils was not part of the deal, but then the Romans came and we really were up to our necks in dreck. While it's true that the Romans did give us water fit to drink, aqueducts and baths, it was very disconcerting to walk down one of the vias, look up and see one of your friends or family nailed to a 3 X 4 looking for all the world like a sign post. Even one of our princes, Judah Ben-Hur got caught up with Roman stuff and drove like a crazy man around the Coliseum. Its funny though, that many people swore that Ben-Hur had an uncanny resemblance to Moses....... go figure!! Then of all things one of our rabbis (teachers) declared himself "Son of You" (nothing was said about this with Abe) and before we knew what was what, a whole new religion sprang up. To add insult to injury, we were dispersed all over the world two or three times while this new religion really caught on! We were truly sorry to hear that the Romans executed him like so many others, but, ... alas, (and this will make you laugh), once again WE were blamed. Here is something we really don't understand. That Rabbi, one of ours and your own son, really came into his own. Millions of people revered & worshipped his name and scriptures. ...... and still killed us by the millions. Claimed we drank the blood of new born infants, and controlled the world banks (Oy, if only that were so :-) We could have bought them all off, and operated the worlds' media and so on. Are we beginning to make our point here? OK, so let's fast-forward a few hundred years to the crusades. HOO-Boy! again we were caught in the middle! They, the lords and knights, came from all over Europe to smack the Arabs and open up the holy places, but before we knew what hit us, they were killing us right, left and center along with everyone else. Every time a king or a pope was down in the opinion polls, they called a crusade or holy war. Today it's called JIHAD. OK, so you tested us a little there, but then some bright cleric in Spain came up with the inquisition and every time we settled down in one country or another... they kicked us out. So we wandered around a few hundred years but it never changed. Remember the Russians Pogroms?? Now comes some really tough noogies. We were doing quite well, thank you, in a small European country called Germany, when some house painter wrote a book, said a few things that caught on and became their leader... Whoo Boy what a bad day that was for us... you know... Your chosen People. We don't really know where you were in the earth years 1940 - 1945. We know everyone needs a break now and then.. even the Almighty needs some time off. But really... when we needed you most, you were never around. You are probably aware of this, but if you have forgotten, over six million of your Chosen People, along with quite a few unchosen others were murdered. Look, we don't want to dwell on the past, but it gets worse! Here we are, it's 1948, and millions of us are displaced yet again, when you realyy pull a fast one. We finally get our own land back!!! Yes!!! After all these years, you arrange for us to go back... then all the Arab countries immediately declare war on us. We have to tell you that sometimes your sense of humour really eludes us. OK, so we win all the wars, but it's now 2002 and nothing's changed. We keep getting blown up, hijacked and kidnapped. We have no peace whatsoever. Enough is enough. So, we hope that you understand that nothing's forever (except you of course) and we respectfully would like to pull out of our verbal agreement via-a-vis being your chosen people. Look, sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Let's be friends over the next few eons and see what happens. How about this? We're sure you recall that Abraham had a whole other family from Ishmael (the ones who got the oil) . How about making them your chosen people for a few thousand years? Respectfully Yours, |
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