You don't have to be old, dying,or going through a traumatic event in your life to do a life review. Everyone should do one so that they know where they are at life and where they want to be. How many times have you started feeling sorry for yourself, or wished you had done things diffeently but then didn't do anything about it? We all are guilty of it and many of us are so busy counting our failures, sorrows, and feeling self-pity that we forget to count our blessings and we take so much for granted till it's to late. As you ask yourself these questions, be honest with yourself. If you have trouble answering these, think about what it would be like if you were told you only had so much time left in this world. What would your thoughts be then?

1. Unresolved Issues. Are there unresolved issues with family or friends? Do you need their forgiveness for anything or do you need to forgive them? Holding onto grudges and anger doesn't help anyone. If something happened to them, would you have regrets? Have you said something in anger that you didn't mean but it hurt them? Now would be a good time to talk with them, forgive them or ask their forgiveness. You may even find a new meaning to your relationship with them. If you are unable to talk with them, then write it down. Write down why you were angry or hurt and ask them for forgiveness or forgive them. They may never know, but you will. carrying anger and hurt around doesn't help anyone. It's time to let it go and you feel like a burden has been lifted.

2. Your feelings.  Think about your family and those close to you. When was the last time you told them how you felt about them? I don't mean just telling them "I love you". Think about each person and write down what you like most about them, how they make you feel, some of your fondest memories of them. Did they make you laugh, did they smile when you needed one, did they listen when you needed someone to listen to you, etc? Write them a letter if you want telling them how you feel, after all you never know if you will get the chance to. Things happen everyday in life and we see it on the news. If something happened to one of them, would you regret that you never told them how much they meant to you? Why live your life in regrets if you can do something about it?

3. Looking at yourself.  If you found out you had only a little time left, what would you want to change about yourself? (I don't mean physical either) Would you wish you listened better when someone tried to share their problems with you? Do you wish you had gossiped less about others? Are you a procrastinator and now have a lot of things not done or only half finished? Do you strike out in anger to others and say hurtful things just because you are tired or had a bad day? What kind of bad habits do you have that you wished you had changed? Write down all your bad habits and things you have not finished. Now think which ones you would like to accomplish first and set a goal. Just do a few at a time and then review your list  at the  time you set the goals and see how you are doing. It would be unrealistic to try to do it all at once. Make sure you try to do just a few and also set a realistic time to accomplish them otherwise you only frustrate yourself. (If you are one of those going on your final journey, don't think you can't make changes or finish some of the things you have started. Just figure out which ones are important and if necessary, get some help in doing them. It's never to late.)

4. Your accomplishements.  This may be one of your hardest as many of us look back on our lives and wish we had done this or had done that, but we must also be realistic here also. You may want to write 2 columns and in 1 column put down everything you have done in life and in the other column, put everything you wanted to do. If you took dance or piano lessons when you were a kid, include that also in the column of things you have done. If you always wanted to learn to play the piano but hadn't, include that in the column of things you wanted to do. If you wanted to do more volunteer work, go back to school, learned a new hobby, travel, etc; include all these on your list. Now look at your list and see what you have done. You might be surprised at how much you have done already. Now look at your list of what you always wanted to do. Which ones can you do that are realistic? (We all say we want to travel around the world, but many of us can not afford that). How can you obtain some of them? If you put down travel, think about places that are close by and strive for that for now. If you wanted to go back to school, check ut the schools near you and see what they have to offer. You may find that most of your goals are obtainable and all you have to do is set your mind to do them. Now don't try to do everything at once. Pick one or 2 of them and strive for them first and then go to the next ones and cross them off as you go. 

5. Making time for yourself.  We all live such busy lives that many of us do not take time for ourselves. We need to force ourselves to take the time. How can we nourish our spirit if we are to busy to even take time for ourselves? Learn a new hobby, read some books on topics you want to learn about, start taking walks, take up gardening, etc. You may not think this is important or has anything to do with a life review. When my mother found out she was dying, she made it a point to once a week to go to a different restaurant and try new foods, see a new  movie, read a new book, and take a ride or short walk some where she could enjoy the scenery. She called it "making memories for herself". She wanted the memories of how the flowers smelled, how the sunset looked, the experience of trying new foods, the enjoyment she got out of a good movie that either made her laugh or cry, and the quiet time she got reading a book. Life is short enough and it's time to stop and smell the roses along the way. When is the last time, you walked barefoot and felt the earth under your feet? When is the last time you just sat and watched the sunset enjoying the display of colors? Do you enjoy painting, knitting, gardening, etc but you always find you don't have enough time? Make time to do the things you enjoy. When you do things you enjoy doing, you renew your energy and fill your spirit. 

6. Your faith.  What are your beliefs? Define what your beliefs are, not what your religious beliefs are. Not everyone believes everything their religion teches them, so define what yours are. Are you afraid of death and why are you afraid? Are you afraid of being judged? Many believe that when they die, they will be called to judgement and will be judged on everything in their life  and that is where their fear lies. Now really think about judgement. If you believe in hell, do you really think judgement will be really terrible because you told a lie, fought with your siblings, got mad at your parents, etc? I can remember going to confession and taking a list in about how many times I fought with my siblings, told lies, etc. Then I was told to say so many prayers and that I was forgiven. But if I had really been mean that week to either my siblings or parents, it don't matter how many prayers I said or that the priest said I was forgive; I could not forgive myself so easily. In most beliefs, they say when you come to judgement day, you will do a life review and see every bad thing you did. My belief is that yes, we will look back at our lives and see all the good and bad we did and how that effected others. If we did bad and we see how much it hurt someone, we are going to have a hard time forgiving ourselves no matter who says we are forgiven. Think about it. Have your eve doe something bad to someone, then asked them to forgive you and they did, but you still felt terrible about it? We have a harder time forgiving ourselves then we do others. We must learn to forgive ourselves as well as others. If our faith is strong, we find we can get through alot of things. I witnessed how strong my mother's beliefs were and how it got her through the darkest times of her illness. She re-defined her faith and believed that she had lived her life the best she could and  that God (or whatever name you call him/her) was all loving and forgiving. She didn't fear judgement or hell so she lived the remainder of her days in peace. The only fear she had was that of the illness itself but not of death. 

7. How do you want to be remembered?  If you died and were able to be at your funeral and you could hear what others say about you; how do you want to be remembered? Would you rather be remembered fondly by your work as a person who workd very hard and put in very long hours? Or would you rather be remembered by your family as someone who spent time with them, played with them and made time for them? Do you want to be remembered for your anger or for your laughter? Do you want them to remember you more for your good deeds instead of your bad? Funerals are acutally a celebration of your life. Your life is discussed and all your accomplishments are announced. How people will remember you is up to you. The smallest deed can be one of the most important. Each person is like a pebble being tossed in a pond and that ripple spreads and gets bigger. What kind of ripple you are is up to you. If you see a person, who looks sad or lonely, and you smile; that smile may lift their spirits and they in turn will smile at someone else, and the ripple effect continues. However, if you see that same person and bump into them and yell at them, they in turn will yell at someone else and the ripple continues. We see the effects all the time. A person gets up to go to work, they are running a little behind time, they argue with a family member, jump in the car, they are stuck in traffic, othe frustrated drivers are honking or yelling, this fuels the person even more, the person is now even angrier than before, this person takes his/her frustration and anger out on some other person which can have fatal results. So really think about how you want to be remembered and try to achieve that. If you want to be remembered as a good friend, then make sure you give time to that friend who may need someone to listen. 
 

Now that you have done your life review and see what changes you want to make and things you still want to do, you probably have realized what is important in life and what isn't. You may want to pick a time to review your answers just to see how you are doing. We all start out great making changes, but sticking to them can be hard. It's kind of like a diet and New Year's resolutions. We start out great and then we start letting things slide. I like to review mine every 6  months to a yr just to see how I am doing. In doing my life review, I have accomplished a few things. I know what my priorities are, I got rid of my fear of death, I know what changes I want to make, I know what I still want to do, I set goals to accomplish certain things and I don't feel overwhelmed trying to do it all at once. In doing my life review, I have found my spirit and I am happy with who I am. I'm not perfect and I do slip from time to time back into old habits, but I am trying. I would like people to remember me as a person who tried. I hope you will try to.