Your
Journey Home
"Believe in me and you will have eternal
life"
I will send you angels to watch over you
and help
guide you "home"
"Do you need me? I am there.
You cannot see me, yet I am the light you
see by.
You cannot hear me, yet I speak thru your
voice.
Though you fail to find me, I do not fail
you.
For I am there."
- You are going through the most difficult ordeal in your life and
I will not say "I know what you are going through" since I have not gone
through it yet. However, I will say that I understand. I went through it
with both my parents and watched them and helped them as they went through
anger at God for letting this happen, despair over leaving us, the pain
of their disease, and the praying they did for it to end. These are "normal"
emotions and you should not feel ashamed for feeling them. This is a difficult
time for you, your family and friends. Your friends may not come around
to visit as much as they don't know what to say and they don't know how
to face their own immortality. We are all afraid of death as we are afraid
of the unknown. Your faith will be put to the ultimate test now. God understands
when you are angry and you yell at him "Why me, God?" God does not hand
out horrible diseases to "punish" anyone. He loves us and we have to trust
his love for us that he will be there to see us through and be there when
we go "home". He sends his angels to give you strength and to be there.
They surround you and hug you, they comfort you, and they hold you. At
times, you may feel their love wrapped around you as they comfort you.
- Do not be angry at your family or friends if they are having a hard
time discussing your "leaving" them. Some find it very hard to face. We
were
losing both my father and mother at the same time and talking about it
meant it was going to happen and that it was real not just some horrible
nightmare. But when we saw that they needed to talk about it, we listened.
This was a chance to talk about memories, what they hoped for each of us,
their wishes, and this was a time for healing. The healing I refer to is
the healing of your soul. We talked more then, than we ever did. Oh sure
we talked before but now we were really talking. We talked about what was
important. It amazed me how things we use to discuss was no longer important
and things we never discussed, were now very important. We also shared
memories and laughed over old stories. You will find that you will want
to discuss things that happened yrs ago that you want to say you're sorry
for. This is a good time to "clear" the air. We all said we were sorry
for different things, we forgave, and we loved. Don't say you're sorry
for everything that ever happened though. Sometimes we have a tendency
to blame ourselves for everything. My father was sorry for so much and
we had to help him through it. There are things that happen in life and
though we are sorry about them, there is nothing we could have done to
change it (at least we didn't think so.) Talk to your family about the
good times you shared and what you love about each one of them. These will
be moments they will cherish forever. Material things you may leave for
them will never mean as much as the memories you leave them and the words
you have to say. You have the opportunity to say how you feel and to express
the love you have for each other. Make the time you have left on earth
count. The conversations I had with my parents during this time are ones
I will never forget. We cried together, we were angry together, we shared,
and we loved.
- Discuss with them how you feel and what your wishes are. Don't assume
they know because they don't. They may think that you don't want something
when you do. They are running on pure emotions and their emotions take
over and they forget everything so you have to let them know. Discuss if
you want a DNR (do not resuscitate). Discuss if you want to be home, in
a hospice, or hospital. My father wanted to die at home, but thought none
of us would ever go back into the home or room where he was if he did.
We reassured them that we wanted him home with us when the time came and
we would be there with him. This is entirely up to you. Remember, this
is your journey and no one else can make it for you. Make the decisions
on what you want and take into consideration the circumstances. Being at
home, may not be practical if no one is around or can't give you the care
you will need. Then you should discuss a hospice setting. Check a few of
them out while you are able to. They are different than hospitals as they
specialize in caring for the "terminally ill" and they are there to make
you as comfortable as possible, they encourage families to be there
and give them counseling as well as you. Some hospitals have a hospice
center connected to them.
- You will have your good days and your bad days, but through
it all, God will surround you with angels and they will comfort you and
help you as you prepare to go home to God. Remember, you may be leaving
your physical body but your spirit will live on and you will be surrounded
by love and light. When my father died, we were all sitting around him.
My sister was sitting behind him on the bed, holding him. I was sitting
on the foot of the bed, holding his hand, and the others were all at his
side. He looked up over my head and he appeared to be listening to someone
and following them with his eyes. We told him it was ok to go and that
we loved him. He then looked at my mother, and she told him to go
that she would be along shortly. He then looked back over my head and his
eyes followed someone. You could almost see his spirit leave as he sighed
and his eyes followed someone. He was at peace at last. I am only telling
you what happened with me because it may help you not to fear death. When
my father died, I completely lost my fear of death. I saw how peaceful
he was and knew he was in a much better place and I knew he was still with
us to.
- Sometimes it helps to make a list of things you need or want to
get done. Don't think about things you never got to do or regrets you have.
Oh sure, it's easy to say "darn I really wanted to climb MT. Everest before
I died" or "I always wanted to go bungee-jumping". Instead, concentrate
on what you have done, tell people how you feel about them, count the blessings
you have received, and do the things you are able to and that are within
your reach. If someone you know did something for you no matter how small
it was, let them know. Sit outside and look at the sunset with a
loved one. Take the time to enjoy life around you and know that you were
part of this beautiful world.
- As you go through this time, my prayers will be with you and your
families to give you the strength to face what lies ahead, the hopes that
you will share with each other your memories and love, and the knowledge
that God loves you and his angels are at your side. Most important is to
live the time you have left and cherish every moment you have left. This
is your journey and no one else can make it for you, so choose the way
you want to make it. Seek out doctors who know how to deal with the terminally
ill. Don't hesitate to get counseling and join support groups for those
going through the same thing as you. Be open with your family and friends.
Also, never lose your sense of humor and remember to laugh. laughter is
good for the soul and will help you during the hard times ahead.
Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know how
you are doing and to be included in my prayer bowl. My prayers will
be with you.
