Many do not want to discuss death because they fear it. We have been taught to fear it since we were little. Death came to us in the face of the "grim reaper", the devil and evil spirits. I would like to attempt to address this issue, but please remember that these are my beliefs and thoughts. You may agree or disagree with all of it, some of it, or none of it, but these are my thoughts.

I had a tremendous fear of death. I envisioned gasping for air, going to hell, and being a very tormented. Let's be honest here. How many of you do fear death? Why do we fear it? Is it because it is unknown? Is it because what we learned as a child? Even many organized religions do not address the issue of death. Yes, they tell you about hell and heaven, what you must do to achieve heaven, and they will tell you that someday you will die. But they don't address the issue of dying. What are we to expect? Are our souls damned because we lied to a neighbor? We were taught about judgment day and the ramifications that would happen if we lived less than a perfect life. I lived in fear of this because I did not live a perfect life. Another reason many of us fear death si because we are unprepared, we fear the way we may die, the pain, and the realization that we didn't accomplish what we wanted to in life. When you spend your life fearing death, than you miss out on life itself.

I began seeking answers to this question. I was seeking not because I am old and fearful (I'm only in my 40's) but because I wanted to know that those who went before me, did go to a better place and were at peace. I started thinking about my religious upbringing and reflected how they taught me God was loving and our "Father". If God is our father and he is all loving and merciful, than how can he condemn a person for living less than a perfect life? After all, he gave us "free will". I started looking at my own family. Each of us had made mistakes and were bound to make more, but we forgave each other, learned from them, and grew stronger for them. If one of my children made a mistake, I would not turn my back on him/her and toss them out. Would God do less? If my child said mean things to me or someone else and then was truly sorry for it, would I not forgive them? I realized that if I can do these things, then God, who is much greater than I, can do much more and love much more for his love is unconditional. So why would I fear death if it meant I was "going home"?

Life is a journey and death is yet another journey. During our journey of life, we have dreams of what we want to do and be, we experience pain, love, sadness, joy, and many other emotions. I liken it to taking a trip. When we go on a trip, we have expectations of what we want to see and do on our trip. Sometimes we accomplish all we wanted to but we always think if we only saw more, did more, etc. Sometimes the trip doesn't turn out as we planned maybe due to bad weather, bad planning, etc. Life is the same way. As a child we always plan on what we want to be when we grow up and what we want to do. But things happen along the way that change the plans, delay them, or alter them completely. Then when our journey of life is about over, we always end up saying "I wish I had done that" or "I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do". We must learn to re-train our thinking and think about what we did get to do and think about what we do have. We need to stop thinking of success as someone who has made alot of money, done alot of things, or someone who has given alot to their community. All that is fine, but we should also look at the small things because they are just as important. Maybe you don't have a mansion or are a successful business person. BUT, do you have a home filled with love and where everyone feels comfortable and not like they are in a museum? Do you have friends who care and feel they can talk to you about anything? Most important, have you tried always to do your best even if you failed? If so, then you have been a successful person.

Death is but another journey where I soul learns more and puts to use what it learned during it's journey of life. I liken death as being similiar to our dreams. We are not confined in our dreams. In our dreams, we can expand and do almost anything. We can fly, we can be the best at whatever we do. Death is but a way we shed our human forms and we can expand our consiousness and we are more than what our human forms allow us. Death itself should not be feared. What we fear is how it will occur. We fear it because we don't know when and how. Some of us are told how and when and then we fear that we didn't do everything we wanted to and that we didn't measure up in life. We fear the pain, we fear leaving our loved ones behind, and we fear the unknown. To me, I eliminated the fear of the unknown. I believe death is just another transition and that our souls will live on. However, I still have the fear of how. I don't mind knowing when. I use to think it would be better to go suddenly and quickly. But after being with my parents and getting the opportunity to talk about things and say everything we wanted to and not having regrets such as "I wish I had been able to say this or that", I think it's in some ways a blessing to know when. My heart always goes out to those who lose a loved one suddenly because they were never given that opportunity. There is no way to avoid death. Sooner or later, we each experience it. So I finally decided not to waste my time fearing something that I can not avoid. Instead, I should spend my time living life, appreciating it, enjoying it, and taking simple pleasures in family and friends. Material things are nice, but you can't take them with you. Family and friends are more priceless as they give you memories that can never be taken away. So why not spend your life stock piling good memories instead of money? Then when the time comes to make your journey, you will know you lived a worthwhile life and that you shared it with others?

I began reading on other cultures and their belief involving death, studying about those who had NDE's (near-death-experiences), and even looking into the Bible to find the answers I seeked. What I found was peace and a greater meaning of life.

Spirituality of Death

 

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