| Dawn Side of the Moon |
 |
| Disclaimer: Dawn thinks real sherpas are actually groovy, and snickers over the Westerners who brag about their incredible mountain-climbing feats when the sherpas did it with less while carrying huge loads! Plus, sherpas have those cool clothes. BTW: Macy's right. You are more interesting than anyone on TV. But you knew that, didn't you? Warning: This whole story line's going to get worse before it's over. Much worse. Go have a Bailey's chocolate milkshake and try not to think about it any more than you have to. |
 |
|
 |
| Macy's Slightly Smug Guide to Gettin' In with the Boy Bands (or other famous persons of various types) |
| #1: BE MORE INTERESTING THAN THEY ARE. This is crucial. Do famous people hang out with fans? Not when they can help it. Who do they hang out with? Other famous people. Or interesting people, who come to the attention of famous people because of their interestingness. Let's face it. Who's Personage X more likely to take a personal call from: the nameless cutie in the third row who's really really really no truly his greatest fan? Or Stephen King? SteveO probably looks pretty scary in a tube top, but you must admit he's probably got interesting things to say. Think about it. |
| #2: DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BUTT ABOUT THEM. Remember, YOU are fascinating. It is in their best interest to seek YOU out, not the other way around. Nothing makes a Personage run like cheap mascara faster than somebody who's just DYING to be near them! |
| #3: "Where do you get your ideas?" Never ask this! If you don't have your own ideas, you're not interesting! (See #1) And if you have your own ideas, you will know not to ask this question. |
| #4: NEVER EVER HAVE SEX WITH THEM! Personages of any note have had kajillions of fans throwing themselves at them. After a certain point in their careers, this is boring for them. Well, maybe not for about five minutes. But then you're forgotten. DO NOT GO TO BED with anyone less interesting than you are. And remember: everyone is less interesting than you are. |
 |
| MACY: It's like they say about Mount Everest. Now scooch out, hon. Let me finish up. |
| JESSICA: Hold it! You're not a groupie, you're not trying to go to bed with them, you're more interesting than they are: why do you bother with these guys? |
 |
 |
| FANCY: I have to ask: how can you justify climbing over the fallen egos of the legions of clueless women who've had sex with these guys to the point where they're jaded enough to want someone who WON'T put out? For your own mysterious socially unjustifiable reasons which, I suspect, boil down to just wanting something to do????? |
| MACY: Sherpas. |