| Dawn Side of the Moon |
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| Disclaimer: Dawn wants everyone to know that she is not responsible for today's storyline. We can't even really blame this on Mr. Fatone. A kindergartener was actually singing "I wanna rock and roll all night... and party every day... "at our local school field day. When Moonsown expressed surprised and delight that he knew this song, he proudly announced it was The Beatles. And refused to be swayed from this opinion. T-Time Maura, a staunch member of the Kiss Army, shudders for the next generation. But not to panic! Dawn wants to reassure you that the five-year-old resident in this house can correctly identify the work of Mozart, Black Sabbath (the Ozzy Years), Metallica, Queen, Hank Williams Senior, Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, Abba, the Partridge Family, Ella Fitzgerald, assorted Irish folk bands, and "those crazy little girls" on the O Brother Where Art Thou? Soundtrack. |
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| MAURA: Pythons? DAWN: Nope. MAURA: Great white sharks? DAWN: Overrated. MAURA: Grizzlies? DAWN: Nope. MAURA: Wolves? DAWN: No, not really. MAURA: Scorpions? DAWN: Nuh-uh. MAURA: Green mamba snakes? Tarantulas? Ebola virus? Not scary to you at all? DAWN: No, not really. |
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| MAURA: I'm not giving in. I know one thing that's really, really REALLY scary. Even the big bad wildlife documentarian Dawn is gonna find this frightening. <sings> "There's a lady who's sure/ all that glitters is gold/ and she's buy-I-ying a stairway ... to ...Heaven..." |
| JOEY: Whoa, Dude Man! The Beatles! They're, like, one of my greatest influences! |
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| DAWN: Oh, great. Now I'll have nightmares. |
| Sorry, Dawn. Just because YOU can't see THEM doesn't mean the horrors can't find YOU! |