| Dawn Side of the Moon |
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| Disclaimer: Dawn doesn't advocate the removal of creatures from their natural habitat. However, she might make an exception in this case. Note: no actual boy bands were harmed in the production of this Dawnorama. But I needed a good drink afterward. And another one right now. |
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| Wildlife Documentary Specialist Dawn has returned home for a relaxing break. Little does she know the horrors about to unfold... the unspeakable darkness descending upon the happy little house... |
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| DAWN: You seem troubled. MAURA: I'm not happy about this man Macy's seeing. DAWN: Not again! Is this one employed? Living on the back of a Harley? Married to twelve other women? Secretely IS a woman? |
| MAURA: None of that. He's working, plenty of money. Has a house. Not married, as far as I know and, no he's not a woman. Definitely a man. Or ... more accurately ... a boy. DAWN: You're worried about his AGE? What, is he twelve? MAURA: Not exactly. Not...physically. DAWN: Now I'm worried. MAURA: Not worried enough. |
| KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK rattatattatatta KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK |
| JOEY: Whoa, bee-yutiful ladies, let Maura the sweet flower of my affection know that I am waiting for her in my vehicle of paradisical pleasure. MAURA: Pardon me, Joey, your wanker's hanging out. JOEY: Whups! Regrets, babes, you know how my fans are, I am just committed to never breaking a lady's heart. Sometimes... sometimes it's just hard to live in the crooked little edge between lover and loser... it's just not right for a guy to crush a girl's dream ... so ... wait... what's the next lyric? Somethin about how I've made foolish mistakes, and I'll always regret 'em... no, that was last week... |
| MAURA: I'm envisioning it now. A big, hungry crocodile. Like a twenty-footer. In the back of his limo. DAWN: We're not really allowed to bring them home... MAURA: And...yes, I see it. A weed-whacker. And a loooong extension cord... |