Oily Words
In memory of the children who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks against Israel
By Jaclyn
([email protected], http://www.geocities.com/tinted_daylight)
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1.
The words are running down the slick
slippery surface of my bedroom walls
as i lay here (i am limp) and (I am boneless)
sinking into my bed they glide over me those
oily words dirty with their happiness
happiness is a lie and i close my eyes at untruths
i want to grab all those words as they fall upon me
smothering me with their shrill cheery voices so childlike in their naivet�
i see the windowpanes shattering as the words crash
like flies onto the sleek surface, breaking the clear and the pure
with their melodious joy // now the windows are disillusioned
and i can once again see clearly the destruction outside
i knew it wasn�t safe in my room but i thought at least i could only remember
instead of watching and hearing the screams (the last screams)
dying wishes // apologies // declarations of love....too late for the dead do not hear
why does no mother come to claim her lifeless child?
oh i see now....she�s lifeless herself and still the words seethe around me
if only i could grab that false delight and crush it between my fingers....
but i can�t claw at anything because my fingernails are hopeless, bitten stumps
and i am defenseless against this pain so defenseless that even fictional joy
hurts
she said these happy hopeful upbeat songs would comfort me
they don�t.
2.
she lay on her bed (limp) and (boneless)
and smiled softly as the moon made shadow patterns
out of light
the flowing melody soared and dipped around her
encircling her in a thick shell of hope
an embrace so solid so strong so false
that she could be happy because she didn�t remember how to see
outside a man kicked the little girl�s body to the side of the street
a rag doll // boneless too as she flops onto the body of a stranger
this victim will rot there with him as her mother decays alone
but lulled by the dishonesty in her room she drifts off to sleep
the words weaving more tightly around her so she can smile once again
she forgets the death and the pain and the death and the truth
and the happy lies stroke her cheek as another child dies in a pizza store.
3.
stalemate
this will never end.
*
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