Author’s notes and warnings:  Yep, more angst.  Not too much because I’m not too good at it.  Gomen, ne, for torturing our beloved couple but I think it’s important to take care of the loose ends.  Because of that, the story will not end with this chapter.  One more after this, that’s it, I promise.

This chapter is for you, Hitari-chan, thanks for your very genki reviews and the chips; couldn’t write without them!  Thank you everyone for your kind reviews: D, Sakata, Katie-chan, Bunny, Maru, Keimei, Kawaii, and Wrappedinplastq.  And for those that didn’t review…thanks for reading!

Minor lime, gomen…

Disclaimer:  Still own nothing…well maybe a couple of OC but that’s all!  Mine!  Mine!

Once Upon a Dream – Part three:  Unfulfilled

By Moonraven

            I know you, the gleam in your eyes are so familiar a gleam

            Yet I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem

            But if I know you, I know what you’ll do,

            You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.

“Chiri.”  Tasuki’s voice was soft and pensive.

“Hai, Tasuki, no da.”  He looked over at the younger man lying next to him on the grassy hill.  Stargazing seemed to have that effect on the lively bandit.

“Do you think we’ll find the others as well?”  Tasuki asked.  “I really missed them.”

“I missed them too, Tasuki.”  He brought the bandit’s hand to his lips and gently kissed the calloused fingertips.  “Suzaku’s willing, Tasuki, we will all meet again someday, no da.  But I promise you this: whatever happens I will  never stop loving you, Tasuki.”

“You’ll forget…”

“Never.”

Tasuki turned tears filled eyes to his lover and best friend.  He rolled over and half covered the other man with his body and kissed his lips gently.

“I’m gonna hold ya to that, Chiri.”  Tasuki’s lips claimed his again and questing tongue probed his eager mouth.  Touches that were meant to comfort and sooth soon turned into those of hunger and need as hands roamed freely along heated skin and mouths devoured trembling flesh.  Wet tongue soothed his fevered body and he arched uncontrollably into Tasuki’s hot mouth as his lover lowered it to his aching arousal. 

“TASUKI!”  Ryo jerked up abruptly into sitting position, panting wildly.  He was dreaming about Tasuki again.  Movement from the shadows by the doorway brought him sharply back to the present.

“Who’s there?”  He asked, still breathless.  He looked around the darken room and recognized it to be the small wood shack behind the shrine.  Bright afternoon sun filtered through the cracks between panels, softly illuminating the interior.

The figure moved slowly from the shadows into the light.  “Tasuki!”  Ryo cried out in shock and scrambled backwards on the bed until he was backed against the headboard.  How can it be?

“Shh!  I’m not supposed to be here.”  Said the young man that Ryo now recognized as the one from the shrine.  The man that had affected him so much earlier.  What was he doing here?  What did he want from him?

“What do you want?”  Ryo’s barely managed to whisper.  His heart started to pound painfully in his chest the moment he recognized the face.

Terry couldn’t believe his ears.  Did Ryo call him Tasuki?  How could Ryo know about Tasuki?  Unless…Dare he hope? 

“Nothing.  I just wanted to see if you’re alright.”  It crushed him to see Ryo cringing from him like a frighten animal.  “My name is Terry.  We…er…met at the shrine.”  He ended rather lamely.  A flash of pain flickered briefly across Ryo’s face at the mention of the shrine and Terry wanted to kick himself.

“I really wanted to apologize for … um… what we did.  You know…er…along the path?”  UGH!  What the hell prompted him to say that?  With further reminder, Ryo’s body shook harder, his eyes clouded with confusion.  “Ryo, I…may I call you Ryo?”  Terry swallowed, what if he said no?

Ryo nodded.

“Thank you.  Ryo, I….”  Looking at the beautiful man on the bed, Terry didn’t know how to say it.  “I…”  He tried again and stopped.  How do you ask someone if he was your dream lover?

Terry moved closer to the bed, eyes never leaving Ryo’s and came to a stop when he touched the side of the bed.  Gods, he wanted to hold the other man so badly!  Is this what they call love at first sight?  Terry decided to go straight to the point.

“Chichiri.”  He said simply, his voice thick with emotion.  “I’ve found you.” 

“No!”  Ryo gasped.  “NO!”  He cried.  This isn’t real.  It can’t be.  For if this is real, then that’s Tasuki in front of him.  And what would all his dreams be?  How can someone exist outside a dream? 

“It’s real, Ryo.  Very real.”  Terry came to stand just a foot from where Ryo sat.  “I’ve been dreaming of you for years.  It IS you!  You must feel it too!  I know that you do.  I can see it in your eyes.  I can feel it here.”  He tapped at his chest in earnest and desperation.  Ryo continued to shake his head vehemently but his eyes told Terry a different story.

Unable to hold himself away any longer, Terry climbed onto the bed and pulled the trembling man to his chest.  He buried his face in the soft brown hair and breath in the scent that was as familiar to him as his own.

“Gods, Chiri.  I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, so long.”  His voice shook as tears streamed down his face.  To hold the other man close to his heart filled him with such joy that he felt he could explode.  He hugged Ryo closer to him, relishing the warmth of the unresisting body.

“Ryo.”  Whispered the voice muffled by his chest.  “My name is Ryosuke.  Not Chichiri.”  Ryo pushed himself away reluctantly form the warm embrace.  He looked up apprehensively at the man holding him.  His shaking had stop soon after Terry had pulled him in his arms and he wondered at the peace and comfort he felt in this stranger’s close proximity.  Not stranger, his heart told him.  The feel of Terry’s arms and the scent that surrounded him was so familiar that his trembling ceased almost immediately, as if he’s done that hundreds of times before. 

Terry stroked Ryo’s cheek gently with his fingers while his thumb caress the soft lips.  He heard as well as felt Ryo’s sharp intake of breath as Ryo’s eyes glazed over. 

“Have I ever told you that you got a very kissable lips, Chiri?”

Ryo’s eyes flew open and he found himself staring intently into those intense amber eyes.  Terry was saying something to him.

“….a very kissable lips, Ryo.”  Ryo blinked and swallowed.  Another episode of déjà vu?  He tried to move away from Terry but his feeble attempt was only half hearted and sensing that, Terry’s hold on him tighten.  Ryo’s eyes grew wider as Terry’s lips moved closer to his.  As if they had a mind of their own, his lips parted eagerly.  His hands clutched tightly onto Terry’s shirt, inadvertently pulling him closer.  His whole body tingled with anticipation and his brain scream at his lack of bodily control.  When those lips touched his, his whole vision was bathed in a flash of red light.  Adrenalin?  Shock?  His mind decided to shut down and he let his senses take over.  Warm, gentle tongue probed his mouth; drinking in his essence yet offering something more in return.  Something that Ryo, in his current state of euphoria, could not decipher. 

Terry found it hard to describe his feelings.  This wonderful sense of fulfillment; as if after searching the whole world over, he finally found that one piece of himself he didn’t know he was missing.  He did not want to let this man go, ever.  His heart wanted to explode with the sheer joy of having this man in his life.  To have this beautiful creature return his embrace and kisses was surely more than he deserved. 

Between the hot kisses and the mind numbing caresses, the two young men found themselves lying together on the bed, in tight embrace.  Their lower bodies ground together in desperation.  Terry tore his mouth away from Ryo’s and smirked in satisfaction to hear the other man moaned at the loss.  He trailed his tongue along Ryo’s slender neck and paused to suck and nip gently at the sensitive area at the hollow of his throat.  His hand roamed ahead and slid underneath Ryo’s sweater to caress and knead at the taut nipples.  Strangled moan escaped Ryo’s kiss-swollen lips and he arched up into the hot hands that were giving him such incredible pleasure.

So consumed were they in each other, they didn’t hear the door open nor did they notice the furious figure in the doorway.  “Terry, you fucking ass hole.  What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  Ken’s voice was dangerously low and soft.  If that tone can inflict damage, both men on the bed would seriously be hurt.

“Fuck!”  Terry groaned into Ryo’s neck.  He was unwilling to leave the delicious flesh and cursed his bad timing.

Ryo, coming slowly back to reality, gasped and pushed Terry off of him.  His gaze shifted between the enraged man by the door and the man next to him.  He pulled himself farther away from Terry and choked on a cry when Terry turned his agonized eyes on him.  Was Terry upset because Ken is angry with him?  Was he regretting the heated kisses and caresses they shared?  Ryo’s heart ached at those thoughts and he willed himself to look away.

“Well?”  Came Ken’s voice, slightly shaking with barely controlled anger.  “Are you so hard up you’ve got to be fucking every new ass you find?”  Ken’s voice held a hint of malice and he turned to Ryo.  “Did you like what you see so much you want to feel him drive his thick cock into you too?”

Terry felt Ryo stiffen next to him and he got up to stand between his vindictive ex-lover and his reason for living.

“That’s enough, Ken.  Leave him alone.  Let’s go outside and talk.”  He will not have Ken upset Ryo.

Ken laughed and swung at Terry and Ryo let out a strangled cry from the bed.  Terry caught his fist and twisted Ken’s arms behind him.  “I’m so fucking sorry, Ken.  I never meant for this to happen.”  He half dragged the other man towards the door.  ”Let’s go outside and I’ll let you beat the crap out of me.  I’m sorry.”

 “I WILL beat the shit out of you, you son of a bitch.  Damn it, Terry, I KNOW you fucking cheat on me sometimes.  You’re always looking for a new fuck but this is different, man!  I’m right outside.  You were up my ass a few hours ago and now you’re hitting on THIS guy?”  He pointed rather insultingly at Ryo.  Terry frowned; there is absolutely nothing wrong with Ryo.

Ryo cleared his throat conspicuously and got off the bed.  “I think I’m the one that should leave.  It is better to have a private conversation here than outside.”  He moved towards the door, ignoring Terry’s silent protest.  He paused before opening the door and turn to look at Ken.  “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what happened exactly but there is nothing between your friend and I.”  Without looking at Terry, he left.

Outside, Ryo’s heart broke into a thousand pieces.  At least that’s what it felt like.   “I never meant for this to happen.”  Terry words stung more that he would like to admit.  Looking at his watch, Ryo realized that he was out for more than two hours.  What on earth happened? 

‘Terry happened.’ 

He turned and looked back at the old wooden shack.  They hadn’t come out.  He hoped they wouldn’t get too violent; the crusty old place wouldn’t be able to handle much of that.  Well, maybe it was time to build another one, it had been almost 100 years since the last renovation.  Ryo bit his lips, he couldn’t help the way his heart seem to want to jump right out of his chest at the thought of the brash young man who had tried to convince him that they were dream lovers.  He felt blood rushing to his face, as well as other locations he was trying to ignore, at the memories of hands and lips on him.  Gods, he didn’t want them to stop.  He wanted to feel them again so badly his whole being ached.

The man was in there making up with his lover!  He couldn’t have been Tasuki because Tasuki was not real.  This man and what he was proposing were defying all logic.  Ryo didn’t want to think about the possibilities; it was too overwhelming.  If Terry was in fact Tasuki, what would that mean?  How could it be?

“You know the answer to that, Ryo.”  Raspy voice startled Ryo from his thoughts and he turned to find an old lady sitting by her souvenir cart.  He was so deep in thoughts that he didn’t realized that he was back at the shrine.  Looking around, he noticed that he place was almost deserted except for a couple of lingering tourists and the old lady.  Ryo smiled and went over to her.  No one had ever paid much attention to the old lady and out of pity Ryo would spend a lot of time with her.  At first.  Then he found that she was a barrel full of information.  She was very old yet she remembered much of the oral traditions of Suzaku.  He had learned much listening to her, the stories and practicing Chinese.

“Mrs. Tse-Kun.  I didn’t see you earlier this morning.  How are you?”  Ryo sat on the fallen log next to her stool.

“You’re changing the subject, Ryo.”  Mrs. Tse-Kun said rather sternly.  Ryo was surprised and raised his eyebrows at the tone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had a subject going.”  ‘Well she is very old, her mind is probably wandering.’  Ryo mused to himself.

WHACK!

“Hey!”  Ryo jumped away and rubbed at the spot where she had hit him.

“You’re lucky that this is a paper fan and not the original Tessen that Tasuki carried.  You would really feel it then.”  She glared at him.  “Mind wandering, indeed!”

Ryo’s jaws dropped and his eyes turned as round as saucers.  “Wha…what did you say?”

She glared at him more ferociously.  “And he said my mind is wandering.”  She muttered under her breath.  “I SAID that you were lucky…”

“NO!  I meant about Tasuki.  How do you know about Tasuki?”  His heart was pounding again and Ryo thought that it was working much too hard today.

”Of course I know about Tasuki.  Didn’t I ever mention him?”  She asked innocently.  It didn’t quite work with that face but Ryo ignored it.

“No, I don’t think so.  Please tell me.”  Ryo tried to keep the excitement out of his voice.  Someone else knew a Tasuki?  Was he the same one…?

The old lady looked thoughtful for a moment then began, “It was a long time ago, or so the legend goes.  You remember the stories I told you about priestess of Suzaku and the 7 celestial warriors, yes?  Well, Tasuki was one of them.”

“You’ve never mentioned names.  I thought it was all lost.”  His heart was definitely working overtime today.

“No, not lost.  I remember them all:  Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Mitsukake, Chiriko, Tasuki and last but never least…”  She paused and looked intently at him.

“Chichiri.”  Ryo whispered, not knowing how he knew. 

“Yes.”  The old lady was almost crooning.  “You do know.  It was Chichiri.  He and Tasuki were the only two remaining seishi and they traveled around together for a long time.  There were many stories told of their adventures, I’ll tell some of them to you sometimes.”

“What does all of this mean?”  Ryo wondered out loud in frustration.  “What does it all have to do with me?”

“If you’ll stop interrupting, you’ll find out!”  Ryo thought that she couldn’t look any uglier than that moment and was surprised to find that he had caught the fan before it can make contact with this head.

“What was THAT for?”  Ryo was getting upset with the violent old lady.

“Your thoughts are VERY loud, Ryo.  Now listen!” 

“They traveled for many years together and people often wonder at the strange pair.  You see, Chichiri was as kind and gentle as can be while Tasuki was loud, at times crass and well let just say that he attract trouble like you wouldn’t believe.”  Ryo smiled at the description.  It all seemed so familiar to him.  The old lady continued, “During their travel together, they found something else.  Something they had never thought possible, especially for Chichiri, for he thought that it was lost to him forever.  They found love.”  She gave him another intense look.

“They traveled to this very shrine and declared their eternal love for one another.  And as the legend goes, they will be together in all of their lives to come.”

Ryo’s chest constricted painfully and from far away he heard two voices echoing in the depths of his mind.

“I love you for always and if Suzaku’s willing, you too of course, I would love nothing more than to be yours for all of eternity.”

“As Suzaku is my witness, Tasuki, I will love you for always, no da.  For always.”

At the sudden images bombarding his mind, tears formed in his eyes and he brushed them away hastily.  His heart ached to be with the other man and he looked towards the trail leading to the shack.

“What are you saying?”  Ryo whispered.

The old lady looked at him with something akin to pity.  She should have known it would be harder for him than Tasuki.  Chichiri was always the thinker while Tasuki uses his feelings.  “I think you know the answer already, Ryo.”

“What you’re saying is that they have no choice.  No matter what happens in their lives, no matter who they meet, they will always be together?  Because of something that was predetermined over a thousand years ago?”  Is that so wrong?  His heart argued.

“They had a choice, Ryo.  They chose to be together for all times.  They had great faith in each other and their love.  They had chosen to join their souls so that they will never be apart again.”

Ryo shook his head stubbornly.  “I am Ryosuke Himura.  I want someone to love me for who I AM, for what I have done, for what I can do.  Here and now.  I want to have a say in WHAT and WHO will make me happy.  Here.  Now.”

“Were you happy, Ryo?”  She asked gently.  “Did you ever feel like you were missing something?  Was there ever anyone who made you feel complete?  Happy?”

‘Tasuki.’  His mind said.  Images of a laughing orange hair young man came to mind.  “Terry.”

“NO!”  He denied almost violently.  “He’s nothing like Tasuki.  Tasuki would never do that…”  What was he saying?  What was he admitting?

“Ah, but Ryo, who’s living in the past now?  He may have been Tasuki but he’s Terry now.  And just as you want him to love you as Ryo, you must also accept him as Terry.”

Ryo stared at the old lady in wonder and disbelief.  “Who ARE you?”

“Mrs. Tse-Kun, silly.”  She smiled mischievously at him.  Before he can answer her, a voice hailed him from the trail.

“Ryo, are you feeling better?”  It was Randy.  When he turned back towards Mrs. Tse-Kun, she was gone.  Ryo frowned and looked around but she was nowhere to be found.

“Ryo!”  Randy’s handsome face was filled with worry.

“I’m feeling much better, Randy.  Thank you.  I really don’t know what happened.”  Ryo looked around again.  “The class left?”

“Yeah, I send them back to the boarding house.  Don’t worry about it.  You finish most of the lecture and we have the handouts you gave us.  I was worried about you so I came back.”  He looked embarrassed then added, “That and the fact that Terry and Ken went AWOL again.”

“They were in the shack further along the path.”  He pointed then added hastily as Randy’s face went 3 shades brighter, “They were just talking.”

“Oh man!  That’s how it always started.  I better go check on them.”  Randy started down the trail then stopped and looked back at Ryo.  “Ryo, can I take you home or something?”  He looked flushed but Ryo didn’t know if it was from the question or the thoughts of his two friends’ activities.

“That won’t be necessary.  I can manage, thanks.”  Ryo did his best to sound as grateful as possible.

“Look, I know you’re a big boy, but that was something you went through.  If Terry hadn’t caught you, you could have been really hurt.”

“Terry?”  Ryo bit his lips.  He was really mean to Terry.

“Yeah.  I’ve never seen that slacker move so fast.  Anyway, you still need to fill out and sigh some forms, so wait here for me, okay?”  He gave a cheery wave and trotted down the path towards the shack.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.”  The old haggard voice by his ear caused Ryo to jump a few feet into the air.

“Where did you go?”  Ryo asked, incredulous.  “How did you do that?”

The old lady frowned at him.  “Never mind.  Just don’t do it.”

“Don’t do what?”

“He’s not for you.  You’re not for him.  Don’t do this just to prove a point.”

“I’m not trying to prove anything.  Wait a minute!  Even if I was, what does that have to do with you?” 

“Don’t do it Chichiri.  Tasuki loves you.”  The old lady looked reproachful.

“Hold on a minute here…”  Ryo began but was cut short when the old lady disappeared.

“HEY!  Quit doing that!”  Ryo looked under the cart and around it.  “Come back!”

“Ryo?”  Ryo whirled towards the voice and found Randy looking at him quizzically.  Great!  Now he thinks I’m nuts as well.

“Did…Did you find them?”  Ryo asked as if nothing unusual happened.

“No, they’re not there.  Where can they be?”  Randy scratched at the back of his head, looking worried.

“The path does continue down the other side of the hill to the main gate.  Perhaps they went that way.”

Randy pulled out his cell phone and dialed a series of numbers.

“Terry?  Where the hell are you?”  He sounded more relieve than angry.

“Ken with you?”  A pause and a frown.  “What do you mean he went back?  Why didn’t you go with him?”  .….. ”Yeah, right!  The day you guys split up that’s the day it’ll rain cats and dogs.” …..…. ”Alright man!  Jeeze!  Don’t fucking yell at me, I’m not the one screwed up here!  Just get back to the boarding house and wait for me there.” ………… “I’m still at the shrine, I’ll take Ryo home then I’ll go back.” ………. “No, I’m not gonna leave him alone!  What the hell is wrong with you?  I’ll see you later!”  Randy slammed his phone close and shook his head. 

Terry and Ken had broken up?  Because of him?  Ryo couldn’t believe his ears.  Was it because Terry really thought he was in love with him or was Ken so upset he didn’t want Terry back?  Why did his heart feel sudden joy at he thought that the other man was now free to be with him? 

He had no answers but he knew he had to see Terry again. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“What the fuck!  He fucking hangs up on me!”  Terry was furious.  “Touch a hair on his head, Randy and I’ll fuckin’ kill you!”  He yelled into the phone.

“Well YOU haven’t changed a bit.”  Came a dry voice behind him.

Terry turned towards the voice and screamed.  “UGH!  SUNUKAKE BABA!!”

WHACK!

“ITAI!”  He screeched, holding his head and glared at the ugly old woman.  “What the fuck..!”

The old woman looked smug.  “Now THAT was the real Tessen!”  She looked Terry up and down critically and said, “Stop yelping and listen if you want Chichiri back.”

At the sound of his lover’s name,  Terry froze and stared at the old ‘sunukake baba’.

“How do you know Chichiri?”  Terry looked at her suspiciously.

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand absently.  “Chichiri…Ryo…What difference does it make?  Do you want him or not?”

Terry hissed sharply.  She knew!  How…?  What…?  Terry was at a loss for words and that’s saying a lot.  He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water and simply nodded dumbly.

The smirking old woman handed him a piece of paper.  “That’s his address.  Go slow with him, Tasuki.  You waited years for each other…don’t be rash now.”

Terry took the paper, dumbfounded.  He still couldn’t find his voice.  Who was she?

“Someone who cares about both of you very much.  Oh!  And read the handout you received this morning.  Especially on the story of Suzaku no Miko.”  Then with a flash of brilliant red light, she disappeared.

Terry would have thought he had imagined the whole thing if it hadn’t been for the piece of paper in his hand.  He looked it over carefully and a happy smile spread across his face.  Thank YOU, Suzaku!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Whew!  Almost, people!  Hang in there with me.  One more chapter and that’s it!  I have most of it down on paper, I just have to organize it. 

What will Terry find when he gets to Ryo’s house?  Hm… Do you want a Randy and Ryo lemon?  Okay, Okay, do not throw tomatoes at me, please!  Kawaii, gomen nasai, I couldn’t fit the shower scene here but next chapter is a definite possibility. 

Thanks for reading, minna!  And thanks in advance for the reviews.  I’m looking at a few more ideas for my next story.  Anything you want to see written?  Let me know!

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