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Clowning around: 10:25am and Darren is up doing the battery change. Craig is in the hot tub. At 10:30am, Anna and Mel are up.
At 10:31am, a siren goes off. Craig said, 'We will be picked up on the radar. We will be bombed in here'.
At 10:50am, Craig is out of the hot tub.
10:55am and Mel is on the tightrope.
Anna said, 'It would be nice to pass the last task'. Darren said, 'The public are probably still laughing at us over the Bobby Davro thing'. Anna said, 'And probably because we are such failures. I haven't had a Big Brother dream for ages'. Darren then said, 'It was pissing down last night'. Anna said, 'Did you hear all that shouting? I thought someone was going to come in'.
It's 11:05am and Darren is on the unicycle. 11:08am and Anna is on the unicycle. 11:15am, Anna said, 'Stupid, stupid unicycle. Darren said, 'Remember wiggle and ride'. At 11:30am, Anna is practicing her juggling. Anna said, 'I can't do the unicycle'. Mel said, 'I can't do anything'. Darren said to Anna,, 'How long did you do?' Anna said, 'About 2 seconds'. Darren then said, 'Who do you think would never have done this task?' Anna said, 'Me'. Mel said, 'Me', and Craig said, 'Nick'.
Mel said, 'What are you doing? You stupis, stupid, stupid girl'.
At 12:00pm, Craig had been to see BB. He said, 'Big Brother said that you can all have 2 attempts at the unicycle because of the time we lost'. Anna said, 'I can do the juggling and the tightrope and, I will attempt the unicycle'. Mel said, 'I can't do anything'. Anna is singing, 'Smelly task, smelly task'.
At 12:30pm, they are all practicing the tasks. At 12:55pm, Mel is on the unicycle. She said, 'I can't do this anymore. I just can't do it anymore'. Anna said, 'Just think PMT'. Mel said, 'I fucking hate this fucking task. Did you hear that Big Brother. I hate this task'. Anna said, 'Mel it's December 8th please do the unicycle task'. Anna said to Mel, 'Don't worry about the task. It's only the difference between �26 and �36'.
They are talking about the make-up for the task. Anna said, 'We could be the Joker. Just paint one side of our face'.
At 1:30pm. Mel said, 'I can't even do the tightrope now'.
1:40pm. Anna and Mel are doing their make-up. Anna said, 'God. This is scarey, scarey clown'. Mel said, 'Big Brother do you think I'm fucking funny? Do you think we are fucking clowns? Do you think we are here to fucking amuse you?'
It's 1:45pm. Anna said, 'I think clowns are scarey' Anna is making herself up as the Joker.
1:55pm, Anna said to Mel, 'You look really good Mel. Very scarey. You can't tell it's you'.
At 2:05pm. Anna said, 'I will go and get the instructions. It's an hour before the task'. Mel said, 'I have learnt one thing. How to do the tightrope and how to accept failure'. Anna then said, 'I will be so nervous doing this'. Mel said, 'Oh my God. I'm juggling. How bizarre'.
2:10pm and Mel said, 'What have you learnt from the Big Brother house? I learnt that I can never be a clown'.
At 2:20pm, Anna said, 'Big Brother, if you fail us this time, you will have scarey clowns to deal with'.
At 2:22pm, Craig gets the instructions for the task from Big Brother. He said, 'At 3pm you will do the task indoors. You can unscrew the table and move it. For the juggling you will be in pairs. You will start back-to-back and then you can move. You will have to move the tightrope. You will go in alphabetical order. You will go one at a time. You will be allowed 2 attempts at the unicycle each. Then Big Brother will look at the tapes to check'. Anna said, 'I think we will know or not'.
At 2:35pm, they are practicing the task as per the instructions. In the practice, they passed.
It's 2:55pm. Anna said, 'I'm getting nervous now'.
They failed the task. Mel failed every element of the task. This weeks budget will be �25.20.
Darren said, 'We usually get fruit if we fail the task'. Anna said, 'May be we'll get a Bobby Davro video'.
At 3:45pm, they are in the hot tub.
4:35pm, Darren is in bed reading. At 4:52pm, Craig is in the kitchen. The rest of the housemates are singing.
They are having their tea. Anna doesn't like saveloy. Anna said about Friday, 'It's going to be mad'. The housemates are trying to guess the time. Mel said, 'I'm very tired. I didn't sleep last night'. Darren said, 'We just go to bed, say good night and that's it'. Mel said, 'So, do you just lie there?' Craig said, 'Yes'. They are talking about adverts. Anna said, 'That was as absolute gem of a meal'. Darren said, 'Can we think of a game for 7:00pm?' Mel said, 'We could do poems or a treasure hunt'. Craig said, 'I spy'. Darren then said, 'We'll play the games in alphabetical order. Have we all got to play?' Mel said, 'Yes Darren'. Mel said, 'They usually give us a mini task on Thursday'. Craig said, 'Yeah. So we can have a decent video like East is East'. Anna explains what the movie is about. Darren said, 'What's the budget?' Mel said, 'He doesn't know any of the actors so, it will be a low budget movie to him'. Craig said, 'They might have been talking about us in Eastenders'. Mel said, 'They are made 6 months in advance'. They discuss how far ahead of time different soaps are produced. They talk about taping the show. Craig said, 'My friend will be going through the papers to see what is being said about the show'.
At 5:55pm, Anna is washing up.
Craig said, 'Remember how we forgot about Nick after some chocolate cake and wine. We should have got rid of him earlier'. Anna said, 'Yeah. Thanks Nick'.
Darren said, 'Mel. You know how we all like you in the Big Brother house'. Mel said, 'What?' Darren said, 'I had a vision you will be here at the end. You'll win this competition. I saw you jumping up and down'.
Darren said, 'Name your favourite farm yard animals'. Craig said, 'Bull'. Mel said, 'Calf'. Darren said, 'What a cow?' Mel said, 'No. A calf'. Darren said, 'Horse'. Anna said, 'Duck'. Darren then said, 'Let's carve them out of potato and paint them'. So, the housemates set about carving their fave animals. Mel said, 'What colour dog shall I have? It's got to be gold and silver'. Anna is doing a male duck. Anna said, 'They will probably give us just cider for this'. Mel said to Anna, 'Can your duck fly?' Anna said, 'Yes. I wish I could fly right up to the sky'. Darren then said, 'Please do not do this at home children. With the knives and things. Unless you are accompanied by an adult'. Anna and Mel are saying, 'We want crisps and wine and pizza and video'.
Darren got called to the Diary Room. He returned and said, 'Big Brother wants all the paints and bits except for the tightrope back'.
At 8:25, Anna said, 'They could tell us not to speak for 24 hours and take all our enjoyment away. Take all your good moods and smiles, your sense of humour. No leave that in there as well and any good ideas. Hang on, I've got a couple of good jokes you can take in there as well'.
Darren said, 'I'm gonna make some biscuits'. Mel said, 'Wicked. What sort?'
Mel then said, 'My game is, I'm going to give you a statement and you must talk about it for 30 seconds'.
Mel said, 'I'm going to make oat and raisin biscuits and Darren you can make some shortcake'.
Anna said, 'I'll go in and apologise. I'll give them one big apology and grovel as well'.
Mel's topics for discussion are: Ghosts mean there is a God. If a child has a toy gun it must always be purple Pigs should never be in hen pens and Scarecrows are not just to scarecrows.
At 8:55pm, Anna comes from the Diary Room with a mini task. It is to test their creative and journalistic skills. They have to imagine what's been going on in the outside world. They have to produce a 4 page newpaper. It has to be completed by 9:00pm Saturday. They have to take on different roles, as editor, news correspondent, sports correspondent, showbiz correspondent. They can also have an astrologer, crossword compiler. They have got to have a cartoon. There are 4 photograph spaces and they must use the old fashioned cut and paste method. Anna said, 'The typewriter is not to be used for anything enjoyable and must be left at the head of the dining table. The reward will be a video and takeaway meal of your choice', Craig said, 'Is that in writing?' Anna then said, 'You will be given a new major task on Sunday'. Darren said, 'The Big Brother house must be the headlines'. Craig said, 'We can look at the magazines to get an idea'. Anna said, 'Sada has started a tofu centre for tofu addiction. Or a turtle hospital for handicapped turtles. Andy has joined a ladyboy band in the Phillipenes. He gets involved in a sex scandal. Craig said, 'Nick's emigrated to Australia'. Mel said, 'Caroline gets a lipstick contract and releases a single. The Pimmel lipstick ad is so successful, she becomes a teen icon'. Someone said, 'Nick could become a spindoctor'. Mel said, 'Tom hits Broadway in a new musical called Breadmaker'. Someone said, 'Claire goes down the pub and gets pissed. No. She does a piece on daytime TV as a florist. She gets a record contract and sets up her own business'. Darren said, 'Nichola does an art collection and ends up knitting something with wire'. Mel said, 'We need to concoct a really big story for the next person to leave the house'.
At 11:25, Craig is flossing his teeth. Anna and Mel are in bed.
Mel and Anna are talking about the atmosphere in the house, about it being competitive. Mel said, 'There's a one-upmanship kind of feel in here. The competitiveness will make things unpleasant. Overall no but individually yes'. Mel must have spoken to the shrink. Anna said, 'I feel a bit non caring. I know I should. I really don't care'. Mel said, 'That's fine. You just have to do another week'. Mel was listing people she wants to see on Friday if she is out. She said, 'Big Brother will do their best'. Mel then lists her people in priority order. Anna said, 'The Mel File. Phew'.
At 11:35pm, Anna goes to the loo. Mel is washing her face in the bathroom. Anna then goes to bathroom to wash her face. They return to the bedroom.
Anna said, 'I'm surprised we've got that to do tomorrow'. Mel said, 'That will be good'. Anna said, 'We get a choice of video and food'. Mel said, 'What would you have?' Anna said, 'I'm thinking pizza or Thai food'. Anna then said to Mel, 'How are you feeling today?' Mel said, 'Fine, stupid, cold. Yeah. Fine, just fine, ummmm....yeah, just fine. I'm not feeling miserable'. Anna said, 'Your on good form'. Mel said, 'I'm just going to think that I'm going Friday. I've had a laugh. It's Craig's 4th time. It must wear you down. It'll be a bonus. I'm glad the task is over. I was just getting so bitter about it. I was getting down about the task, but why should I feel bad about it. I wasn't going to feel down about it'. Anna said, 'I dropped the bloody balls'. Mel said, 'The fact is, I can't do fuck all'.
At 11:45pm, they have a fag. Anna said to Mel, 'I'm glad you had a nice chat'. Mel said, 'It was nice'. Anna said, 'The public will know so much more about us. They will know all our traits and habits. If we go to any parties, we'll have to be tactful'. Mel said, 'They'll be fine though'. Anna said, 'They'll know us'. Mel said, 'They will won't they'. Mel said, 'I wonder what questions the public will ask. We were 10 quite happy people'. Anna said, 'There are probably a few million people who feel they really know us'. Mel said, 'That's fucking freaky. Yeah. I know'. Mel then said, 'There are a few that know us warts and all'. Anna said, 'The voices that are recognised are the one's that thwarted us'.
At 11:55pm, Mel and Anna are reading. Mel said to Anna about the book, 'What's happened?' Anna said, 'Shite has happened in this book'.
At 12:30am, Anna goes to the loo. Anna returned to the bedroom and said, 'It's freezing'.
At 12:45am, the cock is crowing. Anna said, 'It's really high pitched. Wow. It's out there crowing'.
At 12:50am, Anna and Mel get up again. They go into the garden and check the chickens. They are talking about the noises that young foxes make. Mel then talks about the book she is reading.
1:00am, there is a spider alert. Anna jumps out of bed and starts shaking her duvet about. Mel said, 'These are little English spiders'. Anna said, 'Coy, gentle, with a sense of humour'. Anna then said, 'That's a human noise. Come on have a go if you think your hard enough. We launched it [talking about the spider]. It's probably splat against that light up there'. Anna then put some cloth on the floor by the door to stop the spiders getting in. They have a chat about spiders. (Not one of my favourite subjects). Mel said, 'Two girls against a creepy crawly'.
At 1:25am, they are reading again. At 1:30am, Anna gets up yet again. Then at 1:54am. Anna said, 'Excuse me, I just farted'. Mel gets up again at 2:00am, then goes back to bed. They turn off the lights and say good night.
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