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Last updated: 05/09/00
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The latest hot gossip that is going on in the Big Brother house.
Who's hot and who's not! Who's in and who's out! What tasks has BB set them! Who's been talking about who!
We hate Bobby Davro: 10:00am and everyone is still in bed. At 10:40am, Darren gets up. He gets the days provisions from the store room, then goes back to bed. At 11:15am, everyone is still in bed.
At 11:40am, BB announces. 'Can someone go to the Diary Room'. Darren and Craig get up. Mel then gets up and Craig goes back to bed.
At 11:55am, they are talking about what to have for tea. Mel said to Darren, 'Do you eat beef?' Darren said, 'No. Why do you ask that?' Mel said, 'It's just that a lot of people don't'.
It's 12:00pm, and Anna gets up. Then at 12:15pm, Darren goes back to bed.
Mel and Craig are jogging up and down the garden. Mel does some hand stands against the wall.
At 12:40pm, Mel is reading her book.
Anna said, 'There is something we have to do today. Nominate 2 people'. Mel then said, 'I forgot all about that'.
At 1:00pm, Anna starts reading her book.
It's 1:25pm, and Craig is thinking about next Friday. He said, 'I don't think everyonewill be there, especially after they know what we have said about them'.
Craig said to Anna, 'What do you miss the most?' Anna said, 'My friends'.
Craig is talking about his boxer dogs and how wimpy they are for how big they are.
Darren got up at 1:25pm.
Darren said, 'I might have a run up and down. My fucking necks killing me and my fucking back is killing me'.
At 1:30pm, Mel is practicing the unicycle.
Anna said, 'That soup smells of cabbagy farts'. Mel said, 'Oh God. I can smell it from here, or have you just farted?' Anna said, 'No'.
Mel said, 'My legs are covered in bruises'. Anna said, 'So are mine. Look at this bruise''. Mel said, 'It's huge'. Anna showing her leg to BB said, 'Look at this bruise'.
At 2:45pm, Mel is practicing the unicycle again. Mel said, 'Stupid, stupid, stupid bike. I'm not going to get off until I've done 10 seconds. I'll be here all night. I've bent the seat. I've bruised and scraped everything and I've got a huge bruise'.
Mel said, 'Claire left her washbag here'. Darren said, 'What's in it?' Mel said, 'Cotton wool'. Darren said, 'I need cotton wool'. Mel then said, 'So do I. We can split it 50/50'.
3:05pm, BB announces that nominations will begin in 5 minutes and, that they are to gather outside on the lawn.
Craig said, 'That's the last time'. Anna said, 'Thank God'. Darren said. 'It's my last lot of washing ever, ever'.
Anna was called at 3:15pm to the Diary Room. Mel said, 'I hate being last'. Craig said, 'It's my Mum's birthday today or the 9th'. Anna returns at 3:17pm. Craig goes at 3:18pm and returns at 3:20pm. Darren goes at 3:21pm. He is mucking about saying that he won't do it. Anna said, 'What's he like? Trying to be all tough'. He returns at 3:25pm. Mel is last one in at 3:25pm. She gets back at 3:27pm. Mel said, 'Finished the noiminations. Done'.
Darren said, 'I wonder what's going to happen on Friday?' Craig said to Darren, 'I think it's going to be battle of the boys'. Darren said, 'I think 3'.
Mel is talking to Anna about Craig and the task. She said, 'It pisses me off when he tries to force me into it. Craig was trying to get me do do it. I'll do it when I want'.
Mel said, 'Do you think I'm funny. Do you think I'm a fucking clown'.
At 5:05pm, Craig is doing some washing.
Anna and Mel are in the tub comparing bruises. Anna said, 'Big Brother we would have preferred a swimming pool'. Craig suddenly said, 'There is a bird called the shag'.
At 5:50pm, Anna and Mel got out of the tub.
6:05pm, and Craig is practicing his juggling.
Mel said, 'I don't think we will do this task'. Anna said, 'I don't either'. Mel said, 'I can't juggle, I can't ride the bike and I keep falling off the tightrope'.
At 6:10pm, they all put on their wigs to say Happy Birthday to Craig's Mum in the Diary Room.
Darren sings, 'I'm so hungry, so fucking hungry'.
Mel said, 'I think this is the hardest task we have ever had'. Anna said, 'This is do-able'. Mel said, 'Look at me on the unicycle and tell me ist's do-able'.
At 6:15pm, Anna is reading her book. Darren goes back to bed and Craig is practicing the unicycle.
Anna goes to the Diary Room and returns with some shin pads.
BB announces, 'Can Craig be careful of the windows'.
7:00pm, Darren gets up.
At 7:50pm, the housemates are given a mini task. They have to impersonate each other for 2 hours. The reward will be a video. Anna impersonates Craig, Craig impersonates Anna, Mel impersonates Darren and Darren impersonates Mel.
I went off to watch the hour long BB show at 8:00pm. When I get back, they are 1 hour into the task. They have all swapped their clothes around as well. This next bit is going to be rather tricky to put together. When I say a persons name, they impersonating the character in brackets - not themselves.
Mel [Darren] said, 'I saw Brenda last week'. Anna [Craig] said, 'Yeah. It's 'cos those bastards keep nominating me'. Mel [Darren] said, 'Me, me, me, me, let's talk about me now'. Darren [Mel] said, 'How long you keeping that bread in for?' Mel [Darren] said, '30 minutes. That's what Joyce said'. Darren [Mel] said, 'We heard the cameraman farting the other night. Didn't we Anna'. Mel [Darren] said, 'It was probably Craig the chief trumper'. Darren [Mel] said, 'The rolls will take half an hour. Then we can do the poem. We can do a line each'. Mel [Darren] said, 'I make a wonderful Caribbean Jerk Seasoned Chicken'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Your wonderful. I've got a headache'. Anna [Craig] said, 'What's wrong with the tea?' Craig [Anna] said, 'It's rotsky'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Eh Craig. What's that song? You know the words. I was singing it the other day'. Anna [Craig] said, 'C'mon Feel the Noize'. Darren [Mel] said, 'No. Fever'. Anna [Craig] said, 'Where's Anna? Is Anna sleeping?' Mel [Darren] said, 'Someone is weeing all over the floor. We should have a discussion'. Mel [Darren] said, 'I can't go. I need my All Bran'. Anna [Craig] said, 'My muscles make more urine, so I need to pee a lot'. Mel [Darren] said, 'That's grotsky. I don't do that'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I reckon it's the girls. With their piercings all over the place. I thought it would be the girls'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Don't make wild accusations'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I don't do that at home'. Darren [Mel] said, 'I read in the rules, that you have to treat it as your own home. I don't do that. It only takes a minute to wipe it up'. Mel [Darren] said, 'What are those things in the toilet?' Craig [Anna] said, 'We shouldn't have to hide them in the bedroom'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I know. I don't wnat them in there'. Mel [Darren] said, 'Keep them in your room'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Why should we keep them in our room?' Anna [Craig] said, 'I have to agree with the girls'. Mel [Darren] said, 'I just don't like seeing them there. It reminds me of what you do'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Make sure you wash you plates during the day'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I'd like a rota'. Craig [Anna] said, 'I think it's Craig, he eats everything here'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I need exercise'. Darren [Mel] said, 'I wanted to exercise. I had a bad back and had to sit in the jacuzzi'. Anna [Craig] said, 'It's not just me. Why is everyone picking on me'. Mel [Darren] said, 'I need a movement'. Craig [Anna] said, 'Have you checked the cheese is ok? It could be bad for you'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I can pick up Anna's accent really well'. Darren [Mel] said, 'That's excellent Craig, that's really good'. Mel [Darren] said, 'I've got a headache'. Anna [Craig] said, 'When I worked in the butchers shop, lamb and beef were about the same'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Craig will know he was a butcher'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I feed my dogs 63 times a day, and they are (indicating height with hand) this tall. I feed them on pasta, rice, potatoes, sponge cake and profiteroles'. Darren [Mel] said, 'Anna shall we get in the jacuzzi?' Anna [Craig] said, 'You have to cut up the chickens really carefully. Are they big chickens in South East London?' Anna [Craig] said, 'Go on Mel show us your piercings. You showed us the other night'. Mel [Darren] said, 'My childrens Mum sat me down and said have you got one down there? She's cool'. Anna [Craig] said, 'Would you get a piercing Darren?' Mel [Darren] said, 'I think Mel could persuade me'. Craig [Anna] said, 'This is the most boring book I've ever read'. Anna [Craig] said, 'We could have a chicken swimming pool and jacuzzi in the coop. It'll take me a while but I can do it'. Mel [Darren] said, 'Watch my shoes'. Anna [Craig] said, 'If you and Mel aren't up to playing. I don't know my own strength. How do we all feel about the task on Wednesday?' Darren [Mel] said, 'I can't do the unicycle. I can't do it all. Did Big Brother as you about the task? He never asked me about the task'. Anna [Craig] said, 'C'mon feel the noize. I want that to be my song'. Mel [Darren] said, 'Let's do a song we haven't heard for a while. Lets do D,C,G'. Anna [Craig] said, 'Lovely. I can help you along with that later on'. Darren [Mel] said, 'I think it's a stupid task. How do you feel about today?' Anna [Craig] said, 'I feel fine'. Mel [Darren] said, 'Here's a task for you'. Anna [Craig] said, 'Can we all have a guess at the time?' Mel [Darren] said, 'It's me. It's me, me, me. Think it's 9:58'. BB said, 'You have 5 minutes remaining of your task'. Anna [Craig] said, 'I see you baby shaking that ass. Went to a club in Birmingham once and we were wild'.
At 10:05pm, they finished the task. (All I can say is thank God. Phew! I hope that wasn't as confusing to read as it was to write).
At 10:10, BB congratulated them on passing the task and rewarded them with a Bobby Davro video to be show at 10:30pm.
Mel said, 'I think it's a joke. Big Brother is taking the piss'. Craig said, 'They should have said before. That was misleading. Mrs Merton would have been funny'. Anna said, 'Cheers Big Brother'. Mel said, 'Great Big Brother'. Anna saidd, 'I don't want to watch a bloody Bobby Davro video. I don't mean it to be ungrateful Big Brother'. Mel is going to the Diary Room to tell them they would like something else. Darren said to Mel, 'Tell them I don't know who he is and that I'm allergic to him'. Anna said, 'Bobby bleedin' Davro, Bobby stupid Davro, Bobby fucking stupid Davro'. Craig said, 'Tell them we will stay in bed for the next 12 days'. Mel returned from the Diary Room and said, 'Big Brother said that Bobby Davro is a well known impressionist. You lot are taking the piss'. Anna said, 'Bobby bleeding Davro. I hate him. He's a big filthy minging comedian. Bobby bleedin' Davro that's a joke'. Craig said, 'It's bad for Channel 4's image'. Anna said, 'What was the low point? Sitting through a Bobby Davro video. Oh we should be grateful'. Darren said, 'Should we?' Anna said, 'Yeah. I am grateful for the thought behind it'. Darren said 'Thought we were gonna get some food and booze'. Mel called to BB and tells the group, 'They are laughing at us'.
The sound goes off. They watch one of the episodes. Mel then said, 'There are 3 other episodes do we want to watch them?' Anna said, 'Bobby bleedin' Davro'. They all went in to see BB to beg for something else tomorrow night. Mel started screaming and the sound cut again. They settled down to watch.
At 11:15m, Darren is falling asleep on the sofa. Mel's not amused. At 12:20am Anna and Mel go to bed. Craig has already gone to bed. Anna said to Mel, 'You ok?' Mel said, 'A bit pissed off though'. Anna said, 'After 2 hours of doing that'. Mel said, 'Night'. Then Anna said, 'Night'. They are all in bed.
