Dear Diary-

Hmmmm…ok. This is my first entry in my first ever diary. Wow this page seems intimidating. What should I write? Well, I guess I'll start with the basics. My name is Catherine Bloom. I have auburn hair, blue-gray eyes…wait a minute. I can't believe I'm doing this. Me! Keeping a diary? I feel like such a little girl. So, why am I writing in this, one may ask? Well, one of the ladies at the circus said I'd been looking depressed lately and gave me this diary. She said writing things out would make me feel better. I don't know. It seems a little crazy to me.

Dear Diary-

After many weeks of neglect, I have finally resorted to writing on your pathetic little pages. Why have I finally given in? Well, let me see…I work for a traveling circus and have no real friends, except for the Manager and Trowa, my little brother and former Gundam pilot. It seems like my whole life revolves around Trowa. I love him so much, but I'm always afraid that someone is going to take him away to go fight again. Anyway, my love life is absolutely non-existent. Maybe it's because I'm too intimidating. I mean, I throw daggers for a living, for God's sake. Jeez, I have been feeling depressed lately…and lonely. There, I admitted it! That's a relief. Maybe this diary thing is starting to work.

Grrrr. It's Valentine's Day today. How depressing. All I received was a card from my brother. Again…how depressing.

February 28-

I woke up this morning hearing growls from the nearby lion's cages.

"Cathy, Lady's out of food again," my brother said as he magically appeared, leaning against my doorframe, causing me to jolt up in surprise. I hate it when he does that. I know he never means to seem sneaky, he's a quiet person by nature, but sometimes when he just appears out of nowhere, scaring the heck out of me, it drives me crazy!

"Manager asked me to pick up the food," he explained, "but I have a few things to take care of. Could you--?"

"Yes of course," I grumbled, getting out of bed. So I threw on some sweats and headed to the local grocery, which seemed to be my second home, as I was addicted to their mochaccinos in the morning.

"Hey Mr. Timmons!" I called as I entered the store. He was a really nice man and special ordered animal supplies and food for the circus since we trained right next to his shop a good part of the year before going on tour.

"Out early this morning, aren't we Cathy?" Mr Timmons asked.

"Lady's out of food again."

"Oh, alright, I'll have someone get the bag from the back."

I smiled a thank you and approached the wonderful, beautiful, heavenly coffee machine and pushed the little button for my ritual mochaccino. Just at that moment, the most handsome man came through the doorway, followed by a gorgeous woman. Both looked so proper and important, and while I sat with my mouth open, then stared down at my own attire, which looked more like pajamas, I suddenly felt underdressed. And because I was so surprised to see the two new faces, I accidentally held the button on the coffee machine too long, causing the dark liquid to spill out of the cup and onto the floor, which flicked little splatters of the coffee all over my sweatpants. What a waste of mochaccino! But what's more, is that the coffee was extremely hot. And it happened to be right at the time I was doing a little dance yelling "Ow, ow, ow, hot!!!" at myself, that the yummy-looking blonde man happened to look over at me. How completely mortifying! He gave me this funny little look and his lady-friend just sort of smiled and then they passed right by me. Arghh! I practically ran out of the store after I purchased the lion food. It's just my luck that when a dashing guy comes around, I make a fool of myself. I don't think he was much of a loss, though. The woman probably was his girlfriend and they both sounded rather uppity to me. Humph!

Well, I had quite the surprise this afternoon when Trowa told me he was expecting a guest to arrive at any moment.

"One of my friends, a former Gundam pilot, is coming to discuss some business with me. I think you've probably met him during one of those get-togethers a few years ago," Trowa said.

"Jeez, Trowa, that was almost seven years ago, A.C. 197, right?"

"So it was," Trowa said, deep in thought. "I don't expect you to remember him or anything, but it's Quatre who's coming. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Ok, ok, little brother, I get it, you want me to be nice. Yeah, I remember your little friend. I think I yelled at him, too, when he came here once during the war. Hmmm. Don't worry, I'll try not to yell too much this time," I told him jokingly.

"I'm glad," said a voice coming out of the shadows and approached where we were standing. At first, I only saw a pair of gorgeous, twinkling, aqua-blue eyes, but as the figure stepped into the light, my own eyes went all googley when I saw who it was.

"Catherine, meet Quatre. Quatre, this is my sister, Catherine," Trowa said as he introduced me to the dapper blonde man I had seen in the grocery store that morning.

"Yes, I remember Catherine. We've met before, I believe," Quatre said politely, although not without a smirk. He obviously was referring to this morning's incident at the grocery store. I almost slapped myself at not realizing who he was! Quatre Raberba Winner, big time businessman! Of course, he looks a lot different in person than he does in the papers or on the news, which I don't really pay all that much attention to anyway.

I couldn't get any words out at first to respond, but somehow, I managed to smile. "I'll leave you two alone," I finally stammered as I bolted for my room and found myself thoroughly embarrassed for the second time that day.

March 2-

My whole life is falling apart. Trowa just told me today that he has finally agreed to join the Preventers. That was apparently what Quatre's visit was about. Quatre doesn't work for the Preventers full time, he's probably busy enough as it is; however, he does keep in touch with them. Therefore, I suppose since Quatre was Trowa's best friend during the war, the Preventers asked him to recruit my little brother for them.

I knew it would happen some day. Lady Une and the Preventers have been bugging Trowa to work for them for seven years. He's just such a good pilot, so intelligent and strong. It would be a crime to have his skills wasted performing in the circus when he could be helping so many people and maintaining world peace. I am crushed, but determined not to let my sadness show.

I blame Quatre for taking him away from me…again! But I did promise I would not yell, at least not too much, so I've kept my composure. Besides, I suppose Trowa would never be pressured into something he didn't want to do, so I guess he really wants to join the Preventers. But still, blaming Quatre seems much more fun than admitting it was my own brother's decision to leave me and my breaking heart.

Quatre came over again today. I really wasn't that nice to him. I had a few outbursts and then hid in my room. I know I'm being selfish, but I don't want Trowa to leave me all alone.

March 12-

I have stopped trying to hide the fact I am miserable that my baby brother is leaving. Trowa knows me too well anyway, so what's the point? I am a little happier, though. He has agreed to stay with the circus until the year is over.

I decided that I would treat myself this morning and take a walk over to the grocery store for a mochaccino. When I got there, however, Mr. Timmons was already occupied.

"I'm sorry, Mister," Mr. Timmons told the man in a long, black overcoat who stood before him, "but if you don't have a proper i.d., you can't pay for those using a check."

"But, don't you know who I am?" the man at the counter pleaded with him frantically. "I'm on the front page of the newspaper, for God's sake."

"Oh dear," I thought as I approached the checkout, knowing immediately who the man was.

"We don't pay attention to the newspapers very much around here, sir," I told a startled Quatre Winner, who was holding a bunch of flowers in his hand.

"Do you know this man, Catherine?" Mr. Timmons asked as he saw Quatre looking rather relieved.

"Yes, this is indeed the 'Great Quatre Raberba Winner'. I can vouch for him, Mr. Timmons. I think you're the first person who has ever not wanted to take his money."

"If he's a friend of yours, Cathy, he can have the flowers for free," Mr. Timmons said and went back to his business.

"I wouldn't say 'friend'," I mumbled under my breath, but Mr. Timmons didn't hear.

"Thanks, Catherine," Quatre said as he turned to me. "I owe you one."

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Just came from talking with your brother, actually," he said, as I caught his bright teal gaze, "you know, finalizing plans. I'd love to talk, but you wouldn't believe how late I am for my flight."

And with that he twirled away, leaving me standing there, astonished. He really does have beautiful eyes. Wait…stop it, Catherine. You must not think about such things.

So, anyway, I went back to getting my mochaccino and was proud of myself for helping someone in need. And even though I know I was supposed to be mad at Quatre, I felt like the bigger person by helping him. He really did seem a bit too hasty and unappreciative after I went out of my way to be nice.

Hmmm, I wonder who those flowers were for? Aw, who am I kidding? They were probably for one of the many girls drooling over him 24-7. I mean, most of the female population is in love with him. He is the richest man in the world, after all. And what's even more astonishing is that he's got looks to kill. But enough about Quatre! What's with me today? I've got more important things to think about than a rich little blonde preppy-boy, like, for instance…um…mochacinno!

Yummmm, mochacinno is a wonderful thing.

Still…I wish someone would give me flowers. They make the world seem so much…happier.

The most random thing happened today. Quatre Winner, of all people, sent me a letter, asking if I wanted to go on a date. Now, I don't know who is joking around, but it's not very funny. Although, the letter was very formal, and the handwriting elegant, on nice paper, too. But, bah! It's April Fool's Day. It must be a prank. But then again, who would do such a thing? Certainly not Trowa, he's always completely serious. Hmmm. I'm totally stumped.

I'm totally astonished! Quatre just called, asking why I hadn't responded to his request. I said I honestly thought it was a joke.

"How do you expect me to believe that you would want to go on a date with me?" I told him. "First of all, I thought you had a girlfriend, second of all, I'm just a circus girl with no money or connections, and third of all, don't you hate me for giving you such a hard time about taking Trowa away?"

He looked a bit hurt after I said all that, but calmly explained himself. "To defend myself, I will say this," he began, "First of all, the woman whom you probably thought was my girlfriend was actually my sister…" he looked at me for confirmation.

Alright, I nodded. So the girl in the store that one day was his sister, I'll give him that.

"Secondly," he continued, "unlike other spoiled rich men, I do not care about the social status of my dates…"

Promising, but I'll believe it when I see it.

"And thirdly, you reacted in such a way only expected of a loving sibling when I talked to Trowa of joining the Preventers. So, no, I do not hate you for that."

"Oh," I said, disappointed that my notion of Quatre as an evil rich guy was totally out of proportion. Now, I guess I really don’t hate him that much. And I'm actually a little embarrassed for labeling him like I did.

"So, how about that date? I still owe you for saving me at the grocery store that one time," Quatre said to me.

I agreed. I hadn't been on a date for such a long time. It would be good for me to get out again.

Well, I can't believe it! Quatre Winner stood me up! Oh, the nerve! I was getting ready when Trowa came into my room.

"He's not coming, Sis."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Do you know how long it takes me to tame these curls?"

"Sorry. He said he had some stuff to do."

Great. So I had been ditched. Oh well. I decided to break out some chocolate fudge ice cream and watch TV.

Well, one might imagine how I felt when I saw Quatre on all of the major news programs attending some sort of lavish event! I felt like I was two inches tall. So this is the "stuff" he had to do? Well, it sure looks like Quatre's having a good time, while I'm sitting here all by my lonesome, stuffing my face with comforting calories. But then again, I've always found that ice cream, as opposed to a man, never lets you down.

April 30-

I just found out that my old boyfriend, Dale, is getting married. He used to follow our circus back in the day and we dated for a while. And then one day, out of the blue, he ran off with another girl at the circus. And it had to be the thin-as-a-rail, flexible wonder who could turn herself into a human pretzel. Well, I was devastated, to put it lightly. I still don't think I have gotten over him. I heard his father's business has done extremely well, and now he and Pretzel Girl have invited me to this big dinner/party/ball type thing in Dale's huge mansion his daddy just bought him. Dale's probably inviting me to his party just to spite me. I don't know if I should go. Need advice. Hmmm…who is good at this type of thing? Hilde?

~~~

Just called Duo's garage. Hilde's out shopping. I could wait, but I need some counseling NOW! Who to call next? Ahhh…Relena. She's good about advice on how to deal with men; she managed to get Heero, didn't she? Hope she remembers me, I haven't spoken with her in quite a while. She's probably too busy anyway…

~~~

Amazing! I was put right through. Relena was perfect! She gave me some good "empowered woman" advice. I had to go to the party, she said, and show up looking gorgeous with a handsome date. Dale will be so jealous and so in love with me that he'll break up with the Twisty Tie and ask me to take him back. Then I'll laugh in his face, say "Hell no, you piece of scum!" and run off into the sunset! Wow. Relena sure has changed over the years! She looked so confident and mature and vivacious on the vidphone. Damnit, I used to be like that! Anyway, before she could help me think of who to take with me as my impressive date, her secretary yelled that she was late for a meeting. After apologies and before running off, Relena was very kind and invited me to her mansion so we could talk things over and make a plan of attack. I'm so excited. Her private shuttle will pick me up next week! I must remember to ask Manager for some time off. I don't think he'll give me any trouble when I inform him that I have been specially requested to have a meeting with former Queen of the World and current big time diplomat, Relena Darlian. Hee-hee. It's nice having connections.

May 5-

I arrived at the Darlian Mansion this morning. I can't even begin to describe how elegant it is. Relena had gotten a hold of Hilde and invited her to help me with my little problem, so all three of us, plus Heero, had a nice lunch before talking about my dilemma. Boy, does Relena have Heero whipped! But, gosh, they are the cutest couple I have ever seen. Something about the dark and brooding guy with the fair and playful girl just gets me. It's really adorable. And Man! The chemistry between them! With their sly little glances across the luncheon table, it seemed like you could cut the sexual tension in that room with a knife! I swear one of them was about to jump over that table in a fit of wild passion. Oh, how I wish I had someone of my own with whom I could exchange coy little looks. Hilde and I were both elbowing each other hysterically the whole time so we wouldn’t burst out laughing.

But then Relena shooed Heero away, and us girls were finally able to get down to some serious battle strategies. We spent the whole afternoon trying to decide what drop-dead gorgeous guy was going to be my date for Dale's party. We still hadn't come to a conclusion when the maid called us into the parlor for tea. It seemed a hopeless case.

As we walked into the parlor, I was shocked to see that Relena had a guest. Already sitting in the room sipping tea with Heero was Quatre Winner, of all people! Both men stood to greet us.

"Quatre, my word!" Relena exclaimed as she went over to hug him. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"I had a meeting in the area and wanted to stop by, I--I hope I didn't intrude," he replied sheepishly as he eyed Hilde and me.

"No, not at all!" Relena swept him back down in his seat, the perfect hostess. "Actually, you've come at a rather interesting time," she said, glancing at me.

I felt my eyes grow wide. No, I thought, don't tell Quatre my problems, I don't need the whole world knowing how dysfunctional I am when it comes to getting a guy.

Disregarding my look of horror, Relena smiled prettily. "Quatre, you remember Hilde and Catherine?"

"Yes," he said slowly. Argh, the nerve! I bet he was surprised to see me. I was feeling embarrassed, but I think he should be the embarrassed one. Standing me up! Bah! Who needs him, anyway?

Relena promptly began explaining my need of a date to Quatre and Heero. Heero stared with a totally unemotional, uninterested look, cocking his head every once and a while. I could tell Quatre was a bit squeamish about the whole thing, but he let out a wide grin when Relena was explaining the high degree of hotness the dream date must possess.

"Well then, I'm the obvious choice," Heero said nonchalantly, then gave a small smirk.

"But everyone knows you and Relena have finally hooked up," Hilde pointed out, "plus, we need someone who can impress on more than one level. Sure, you've got the looks, but your conversational skills are somewhat…lacking."

Heero looked hurt and somehow managed to quietly slip out of the room before any more punches could be thrown his way, leaving Quatre sitting awkwardly in front of Relena and Hilde, who were babbling away about date possibilities. The entire process went something like this:

Relena: "What do you think of Duke Nevek?"

Hilde: "Big ego. And what's up with his hair? Ugh."

Relena: "Minister Rimas?"

Hilde: "He's creepy."

Relena: "Lord Nad?"

Hilde: "Attitude problem, plus he's too scrawny"

Relena: "Councilor Mada?"

Hilde: "No way!"

Relena: "Who then?"

"Maybe I should hold some interviews," I suggested half-jokingly. All of this talk was getting me nowhere.

I glanced over at Quatre, who was doing a really good job of keeping a straight face. 'Oh why did he have to come?' I thought to myself, 'I really can't handle him right now, but I'll deal because I'm desperate. I'm still mad at Quatre for taking my little brother away from me and ditching me on our date. But, I need to get over Dale, or at least go to his stupid party and look like I'm over him, so I need to focus on the issue at hand. I'll have time for Quatre-bashing later.'

Quatre took a sip of tea, his eyes laughing. He suddenly looked right at me and we caught each other's gaze for a moment. The laughter in his eyes stopped and was replaced with something else, but we both looked away as Relena and Hilde sat down in a huff, exhausted from brainstorming. Quatre leaned back in his chair, shaking his head at them.

"So, you say you need a handsome date for your friend, here," Quatre spoke to Relena. "Whose party is so influential to have you worrying over such things?"

"Dale Sniller's," Relena said curtly.

"He was her ex," Hilde said in a not so quiet whisper while pointing at me.

"Sniller?" Quatre questioned. His expression changed slightly as he heard the name, but he immediately regained his usual polite composure.

"Yes. What an awful man," Relena said, looking at me sympathetically. "We're going to make him see what he's missing, right, Cathy?"

"Hn," I groaned. I stole a quick look at Quatre, who seemed deep in thought.

"Look, we'll figure something out, Cathy," Hilde assured me. "Duo has some friends, and I'm sure Relena and I can think of some more people for you. Let's just forget about this right now and go shopping, 'cause before we find you the perfect date, you need the perfect dress."

~~~

So, after a whirlwind of joyous shopping, I still have no date, or a dress for that matter, but at this point I really am too tired to care. Good night!

I just received the most interesting phone call. Quatre appeared on our vidphone at the circus and I answered the call.

"Hold on," I said, "I'll go get Trowa for you."

"Actually," he said. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh." That one took me by surprise. "What about?"

"I was calling about the little predicament you seemed to be in the last time I saw you."

"Right," I mumbled. I had hoped he wouldn't mention that. It was a rather embarrassing moment to have him learning of my guy troubles.

"Well, I have a proposition for you," Quatre announced as his face lit up on the vidphone.

"I'm listening…" I responded.

Quatre then went onto explain that we were both in similar sticky situations, and that I was not the only one in need of a date for an important event. He had to attend the "Royal Gala," a prestigious social function to which all of the major diplomats, businessmen, world leaders, and royal families were invited to each year. Quatre said he couldn't quite remember the real reason for the event, something about "A Celebration of Peace," but that it really was just a stuffy party where rich people gathered to show off, share war stories, and other "really boring stuff," as Quatre best put it. He proposed that if I accompany him to his event, then he would be my date to Dale's party.

"So are you actually going to show up this time?" I asked him bitterly, referring to his earlier date cancellation.

"I'm very sorry about that, Catherine. I wanted to have a normal date, but it's just that a conference came up at the last minute and there was no way of getting you to Colony L4 fast enough to accompany me."

He would have taken me? Ok, at least I feel better, but…

"What about the girl on your arm? Do you have an endless supply of pretty girls to be your date or something? If so, I want no part in that," I told him simply.

"How did you know--" he began. "Oh, the conference was televised, wasn't it?" he realized. "Goodness, you must think I'm a total jerk," he said to me, embarrassed. "The girl you saw was my sister…another one of my sisters. Honest! You'll probably find it hard to believe, but I actually have twenty-nine sisters. So, in a sense, I do have an endless supplies of pretty girls to accompany me."

I looked skeptical, but then I did remember Trowa saying something about Quatre's crazy number of sisters.

"But I would be very honored if you would accompany me to the Royal Gala," he added.

Alright, so the guy was sincere. In the end, the whole proposition sounded fair to me, so I accepted. And now that I think about it, Quatre is indeed an impressive guy to have as arm candy.

I told Relena of Quatre's offer and my acceptance. She was ecstatic and kept hitting herself for not thinking of the arrangement earlier. And, she has offered to find the perfect dress for me when I attend the Royal Gala. Apparently, it is a much bigger event than Quatre made it out to be.

"Not to put any pressure on you, Cathy," Relena told me, "but it's the biggest event of the year for people in high social circles. And sadly, people there judge you by how you dress and how much money you have."

"Then why the heck did Quatre ask me to such a function?" I asked, bewildered.

"Maybe he likes you." Relena smiled impishly.

I gave her a "don't go there" look.

"Actually," said Relena, "to tell you the truth, I think you would be the perfect date for him. He despises those really rich-girl-spoiled-brats he always finds himself hooked up with at these parties. So don't worry so much. I'll be there too, with Heero, who's probably less than pleased about having to go than you are. I'll find you the perfect dress and you'll blow them all away."

Relena is always so optimistic. That is one of the things I love about her. She's like your personal cheerleader, always there to pump you up.

Then she started planning excitedly, "And we'll both go to the spa together before the Gala! Why don't you tell Quatre to pick you up at my house?" Etc, etc, etc.

I feel much better now. This Gala thing shouldn't be too hard, I guess. I just have to smile and look pretty, right?

Oh my Goodness! I think I'm going to pass out, I'm so nervous. Tonight is the big night. The Royal Gala awaits! Oh why, oh why did I ever agree to go to something like this?

Oh Lord, and my dress! Relena certainly knows what she's doing when it comes to fashion. The dress is absolutely beautiful! It's a deep blue-violet, made of the most elegant material. But even though it drapes down in a princess cut with yards of fabric, I still feel naked. You see, the thing is strapless and when I told Relena about my feeling awkward in it, she nearly went hysterical.

"Catherine Bloom, dagger-throwing extraordinare, I would kill for arms like yours! And look at those shoulders! Strut your stuff, girl!" she cried at me.

So I decided to just be thankful and take the dress. Arguing with Relena Darlian is a lost cause.

~~~

I let Relena treat me to an afternoon of cucumber facials, manicures, pedicures, massages, hair and makeup fun, and every other possible luxury the rich can afford before a ball. It was extremely relaxing, but now, as it is a mere hour before Quatre is suppose to arrive at Relena's, the knots have resurfaced in my neck and my back, making that cocoa butter massage seem such a sad waste.

Well, I seem surprisingly calm now that the whole ordeal is over with. Yes, I admit I was scared to death, but the night actually passed by rather nicely.

Quatre arrived at Relena's looking absolutely amazing and brought me some gorgeous roses. (Yay, flowers!) He was such a gentleman the whole night, opening up doors, minding the train of my dress, offering his arm whenever we walked side by side. It was something out of a fairytale!

"I think he was pleased with what he saw," Relena whispered to me with a wink about Quatre's look when he first came to pick me up. "Cathy, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets!" she giggled as we sat in the limo before the men got in. I turned red and told her to stop flattering me.

As we pulled up to the action, my mouth hung open in astonishment. The Gala was like a world in itself. Every lady I saw was beautiful, every man stately. I had never before been in such high society. I felt like a little girl in a candy shop, gazing in wonder at everything around me. I was nervous and jumpy, and Quatre could tell.

"Catherine," he whispered, "all you have to do is smile and nod. It's the oldest trick in the book. People will love you if you just let them talk about how great they are, and then look interested about it!"

So I took a big breath and accepted his outstretched arm and we walked into the madness. With a little assuring pat on my hand, Quatre escorted me through the many important people. I followed his advice exactly, and surprisingly, it was easier than I thought.

The whole ordeal actually became funny after a while. There were a lot of old diplomats who loved to flirt. With them, their wives, caked with makeup, gave young women the evil eye. Almost all of the young ladies had their noses up in the air and flitted around, singling out promising young men. Quatre was a favorite, but I think my presence scared most of them off.

My favorite parts during the night were when the wrinkled old leaders told Quatre things about me, like "This one's a keeper" with a wink and a nudge. Quatre always replied with a "Yes I know" or just smiled in response. I found myself wondering if he meant it. He was probably just being polite.

I hardly saw Relena and Heero. I think she was being bombarded by every major politician in attendance. Poor Heero must have been in agony.

~~~

When the crowd of people wanting to speak with Quatre had somewhat dispersed, we both let out a sigh of relief.

"How are you doing so far?" he asked as we sat down at one of the candle lit tables.

"I'm fine, thank you," I answered, looking around nervously.

Since everyone had basically gotten their greetings over with, the grand ballroom had become dimmed as couples were moving towards the dance floor. The romantic setting was a bit awkward.

Trying to break the ice, I politely inquired, "Do you attend events like this often, Quatre?"

"Yes, I suppose so," he answered, "but never on this grand of a scale."

"It must be wonderful," I sighed.

"Not as wonderful as one may think," Quatre said. "But Catherine, I have to tell you, you're really fitting in quite well here. Everyone's been asking who you are. They're really quite taken with you."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes, really. If I hadn't known better, I would have been positive you'd attended the Royal Gala before."

I just smiled, feeling more comfortable. "I'm relieved I haven't seen Dale this evening," I told him. "I would have thought he would have been here."

"Actually, this event is only for the very prominent figures in our society," Quatre said properly, but also with a slight tone of bitterness. I could have kissed him for saying that! It was so cute how he had cut down Dale in such a subtle, witty way. By now, I knew that Quatre had something against Dale, and even though I had no idea why he didn’t like the guy, I was loving it just the same!

Quatre asked me to dance later that night and I felt like a princess. I couldn't believe that the man who was twirling me in his arms was the same one whom I despised at first. Well, maybe I didn't despise him. Looking back, I really wasn't that mad about him taking away Trowa to join the Preventers, or of the fact that he didn't show on our first date. I think I was more angry at myself for seeming foolish in the eyes of a man whom I admired. And now that I know him better, I admire Quatre Winner all the more.

Unfortunately, the night never ended as planned. A big burly man approached Quatre after a lovely slow dance.

"Rashid, what are you doing here?" an irritated Quatre asked the man.

Rashid whispered something to him, which only caused Quatre more annoyance.

"Oh no, not again. Tell them I'll be there as soon as possible," Quatre said to the man.

"Look, Catherine," he said, turning to me, "I hate doing this to you, but it seems there is a problem at the Winner Corporation that needs my urgent attention. I'm sorry--"

"I know you're a very busy man, Quatre. Thank you for inviting me to this wonderful event. I'm sure Relena and Heero can get me back home. So go do whatever it is you do that makes you one of the most popular men in the world," I told him, doing my best to be all politeness.

We both looked at each other for a moment, not really sure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Finally, we both decided on shaking hands. He held mine a little longer than he should have, I think, before Rashid escorted him away.

All in all, the whole night went rather well. I didn't make a fool of myself or of Quatre. It's too bad I'm not rich or important. I could get used to pampering myself at spas and going to balls. But for now, I've got to concentrate on my own problem: Dale's Party. I've fulfilled my end of the bargain with Quatre. Now let's see if he can fulfill his.

I am sitting here all alone, the curtains drawn over my windows, taking slow breaths in and out. I'm prepping myself. I must be calm, collected. Knowing Dale and his egotistic character, he will shove all of his love, happiness and money right into my face. I am determined to shove it all back at him. In less than half an hour, Quatre will be here to take me to Dale's party, probably bringing flowers. So sit on my bed, in another one of Relena's special "eye candy" dresses. This one is less traditional than the last, and more slinky. Good 'ole Relena. Thin spaghetti straps form a low v-cut neck. Soft layers of black material cling fitted around me until the very bottom of the dress, where they end with a soft flare. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. It's sexy and sophisticated, and although normally I would never wear such a thing, I'm in love with it! It's the perfect "independent woman" dress that will make Dale totally jealous. I think I'll pay extra special attention to Quatre tonight, too. I can't wait to see the look on Dale's face!

Well last night was certainly interesting, to say the least. It began well enough, but unfortunately my "Make Dale Jealous Plan" didn't work out as I had hoped. Quatre was perfect as usual. Actually, he was quite yummy to tell the truth. And I have to admit, this time even I saw his eyes pop out of his head when he saw me. It's a good feeling to know I'm pleasing someone around here. But back to Quatre, he was a little tired from one of his business trips. Apparently, the Winner Corporation was in the middle of a huge deal with some other big company. It almost fell through the last time I had seen him while we were at the Gala, and that was why he had to leave me so suddenly. Quatre's hair was a little disheveled and his tie hung low on his collar. He held the most beautiful red roses in his hand and offered them to me with a weak smile. Half of his shirt was untucked and when he entered my doorway, he looked like a rebel without a cause. And a tired rebel, at that. Poor thing. When we got in his personal shuttle to go to Dale's party, he apologized to me profusely.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I promise I'll make myself more presentable before we arrive at your party."

I was feeling bold that night, and it looked like Quatre needed some cheering up, so I put on my independent woman attitude and replied, "Actually, I think you look rather sexy like that."

He kind of stared at me for a moment, and I thought I been a little too forthcoming. But then he started to smile and relaxed back in his seat. "And you're quite the little siren yourself, I might add."

"Why thank you, Mr. Winner," I said in mock-politeness. "I think we'll make a wonderful pair this evening."

And he smiled and I smiled and all seemed right with the world.

~~~

We arrived at Dale's mansion sometime later and were greeted by the man himself and his little frail fiancée, with whom we exchanged formalities at the door. By this time, Quatre had gotten his act together and looked delicious in his tailored black tux, handsomely showing off his well-built shoulders, which must have sprouted during those seven years since I last saw him. I noticed that Dale flinched at our presence and his little girlfriend had a look of complete shock when she saw us. She seemed especially taken with Quatre, so I squeezed his arm a little tighter as we moved into the house.

It was indeed a mansion, complete with a ballroom and every other luxury, but seeing the look on Quatre's face, I could tell that the Winner mansion was much bigger. A lot of people whispered when they saw us. I noted that there was hardly anyone in attendance from the Royal Gala. It was all very amusing.

"Quatre," I whispered at the punch bowl, "every one's looking at you."

"No," he answered, "I believe they're all looking at you."

"Me? No, I think it's you."

"No, no, no, it's truly you."

"You."

"You."

"You."

"You!"

And then we both started cracking up, although we had to contain ourselves for the sake of keeping our dignity. It was a wonderful evening, for we both were making the exact impression on everyone that I had dreamed of. While we were dancing, Quatre threw in a few extra twirls.

"Show off," I whispered to him.

"Exactly," he agreed.

By this time, the focus of the party had gone from Dale's wedding and concentrated on Quatre and myself! Every couple in the room had begun whispering about why Mr. Winner had graced the party with his presence. And no one knew what to think of me, for Dale had never mentioned his former girlfriend to anyone.

"So, did you know that I am dancing with a Celtic princess?" Quatre told me while we danced, after overhearing some of the rumors flying about.

"Oh really?" I laughed. "I wish."

"Maybe someday," he whispered as he spun me around, then brought me close to him as a slow song began playing.

"But if you're a princess, wouldn't you have to marry a prince?" he asked me.

"I suppose so. I'm sorry, Quatre, but it looks like you're out of the picture," I answered lightly.

"That's too bad," he replied. And before I knew it, our faces were only inches apart.

"I was beginning to like having you around," Quatre whispered. I swear he had moved in for a kiss, when a tap at our shoulders caused us both to turn around in surprise.

"May I cut in?" Dale Sniller sneered.

Quatre looked at me with questioning eyes, but I nodded that it was okay, and he stepped aside. I should've just said no, I should've waited 'til the dance was over with Quatre. I thought I could handle Dale. But, I guess I can’t change what's past. I felt so terrible as Quatre moved away. The look of pain and sadness in his eyes was so clear, that I couldn't believe he had let down his usual composed manner. Before Dale turned me away from my wonderful partner, all I saw was the Human Pretzel literally pounce on Quatre for a dance, and knowing how polite he was, I knew he wouldn't refuse. It made me angry, but it's not like Quatre and I were going out or anything. I had no right being jealous of his dance partners, and the same should go for him as well.

I seemed to have lost Quatre during the rest of the night. And I have to admit, Dale was being quite the gentleman. He had not lost any of his good looks or charm, and kept throwing compliments at me left and right. We drank and talked fondly of the good old days at the circus.

But things began to get a bit blurry after that, and before I knew it, Dale was taking me into an empty part of his house. I think he said he wanted to give me a tour. Well, I followed him like a stupid little schoolgirl. Where was my independence? What happened to the mysterious Celtic princess? I don't know, but I do remember knowing that Dale was trying to put the moves on me.

"Catherine," he breathed. His breath was thick and smelled of rum. "Why'd you have to come back here like this? You don't know what you do to me, Cathy," he said and then tried to kiss me.

I had regained enough of my sense at this time to pull away. But he held my arm and I began struggling. I didn't want to scream, it would make too much of a scene, but I couldn't let him harm me either.

I looked around frantically and moved to get out of the secluded room. I managed to struggle into a hallway, where I could hear the ballroom music and see a few distant people.

"Stop Dale," I told him harshly, "you're drunk and you have a fiancée."

"But isn't this what you wanted? Showing up here to get me back? It worked Cathy, it worked."

"Look, this is not what I wanted at all, just let me go, Dale."

But he pushed me into a wall, hard. My back hurt like hell. He had pinned me down quite forcefully and moved in to kiss me again. By now, I had almost given up my resistance.

"Let go of my date, Dale," a cool voice broke the heated tension.

"What the hell?" he turned, only to be met in the face by Quatre's fist.

"Come on, Catherine, I think it's time to go," Quatre told me.

"Mm-hm." I let him take my hand and lead me out of the house. While getting into the limo that would take us back to Quatre's shuttle, Dale's angry figure appeared at the door, an ice pack over his eye.

"You'll pay for this, Winner. Catherine, don't think you've won yet," he shouted at us.

And with that, we sped away leaving an astonished crowd around the fuming Dale.

~~~

The shuttle ride back was unusually quiet. I knew the last part of the evening had not gone so well and wanted to both thank and apologize to Quatre for what had happened.

"Look, Quatre," I slurred. I wasn't quite feeling that well. "I'm sorry I lost you tonight. I don't really know what happened after Dale took me away."

"It's fine," he snapped. "You got what you wanted, didn't you?" There was an obvious coldness to his voice. "Dale sure loved you tonight. And now I'm probably going to be in all of the papers tomorrow for punching out a wealthy businessman's son. Yes, this was indeed a wonderful evening."

"Oh, Quatre." I felt terrible. But the dizziness I had been feeling took the best of me again, and I slipped out of reality, back into a fuzzy grayness.

~~~

I awoke at Relena's house this morning. Apparently it was closer than my home on colony L3 and Quatre had wanted to make sure I was taken care of right away. Relena was by my side when I woke up and she informed me that I had fainted during the shuttle ride home. She then brought me some coffee, but I promptly had to rush out of bed when all of the sickness from last night overcame me. As I flushed the toilet and tried to get that nasty taste out of my mouth, Relena just sighed.

"Oh Cathy, I feel terrible. I knew Dale was not the nicest man, but I didn't know he was this bad!" she exclaimed.

She handed me the paper, and I just stared. So Quatre was right. Reporters from last night's event had already covered the story, although surprisingly, the coverage went in his favor. "Heroic Winner the Winner of Party Brawl" the headline said as I looked at the front page of the newspaper. It had a split shot, one of Quatre and one of Dale, placed next to each other in contrast.

"Apparently, when Dale filed police charges for assault--" Relena began.

"On no! He did what!?!"

"Just listen," Relena explained. "The police came by his house and Dale told them of how Quatre had punched him. While the police were there, they found all sorts of illegal drugs that the drunken hosts hadn't bothered to put away. Don't you see, Cathy? You were drugged last night! That was the only way Dale could have ever take advantage of you!"

"Oh my God!" I was actually relieved. I knew something was wrong when I couldn't remember half of the things I had done. I laid back in the bed groggily.

"What about Quatre?" I asked. "I really hurt him last night, Relena. Even if I didn't know what I was doing, the fact still remains that I ditched him for Dale. And then he saved me from that no-good loser on top of everything that I put him through!"

"I don’t think you have to worry about Quatre," Relena told me. "He's gotten so much good publicity from last night, he's the one who should be thanking you. Anyway…" she whispered, "I think he's the one that feels bad. I heard that he snapped at you on the way home. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but he was actually jealous that Dale was spending time with you. Quatre was used to having you all to himself," Relena reported.

I was in disbelief. Quatre…me. Me and Quatre. Could it ever work?

"But I told him that you were never technically his to be jealous of. You both made a deal to go with one another to each of your events. It's not like you were dating or anything. It was just a happy occurrence that you both hit it off so well. And, since it is now obvious that you were drugged last night, Quatre will feel like a total jerk for thinking that you would ever choose to get back with Dale on your own free will," Relena said triumphantly.

"I guess you're right," I said weakly, still feeling bad about the whole fiasco.

If Quatre will ever talk to me again, I do not know. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. It had been a very trying night for both of us.

Well, Dale somehow managed to get off scot-free, even after all of the drugs the police had found in his home. I guess that's another perk of being rich. And, as if things couldn't possibly get any worse (Quatre still hasn't spoken to me), yet another dark storm cloud has anchored itself over my head. Manager has just told us all that the circus is going to be closing! I couldn't believe it at first. Who would want to close down a circus? But when I found out who was behind it all, I wasn't surprised one bit.

Trowa filled me in with all of the secretive details. The Sniller family has bought the circus. And because our business has been going down during the past year, no one really argued against the purchase. But, as the new owners, instead of trying save the circus, the family has merely decided to close it and use our reserved training area to build a new housing complex. I am devastated. There is nothing anyone can possibly do. I am sure this is Dale's payback for being embarrassed at his own party. I feel completely helpless.

Quatre called today. I think Trowa knew I needed some cheering up, so he made me take the call. Whether Trowa knew that Quatre and I were not on the best of terms, I know not, but I agreed to speak with Quatre anyway. I was glad he was willing to talk with me after the embarrassment I caused him the last time we were together.

"Catherine," he smiled awkwardly as he saw my tear-stained face on the vidphone. (I have resorted to crying often, now that my whole life is crumbling before me).

"It's been a while, Quatre," I said softly, not knowing what else to say.

"Look, Catherine. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry…for everything. I haven't been able to get a hold of you during the past couple of months because I had work on a Mars project that needed my attention. I can be a little dense when it comes to letting people know where I am," he admitted.

"Oh," I said, sniffling. I could feel my tears welling up again. (Lately, I also find myself crying for no reason at all).

"I was really harsh with you the last time I spoke with you," he continued. "I was especially bitter because, well, you see, Dale and I don't have the best history. We were rivals in business school. He managed to steal away all of the nice girls that I dated back then. So when he took you away that evening, it was like a slap from the past. Imagine how stupid I felt when I found out you had been drugged that night."

Poor Quatre…poor me! A tear slipped down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away. I wasn't sure if he noticed it or not. I didn't really care.

"I knew Dale was someone not to be trusted. I should've realized something was up earlier. I mean, who would pick Dale Sniller over me, right?" Quatre said jokingly, trying to cheer me up. It worked. I laughed and he smiled.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. My wounded pride got in the way, I suppose," he said avoiding eye contact with me. I was certain that it was hard for him to tell me all of this. "If you had wanted someone to kiss, you know you had me right there," he added.

I couldn't tell if he was serious or not, so I just blushed, then felt I should apologize to him as well.

"I guess we both made our own mistakes that night. I thought I could handle Dale by myself. I should have let you help me," I told him.

"Alright then, no more of this sad talk. All's well now," he said.

"Actually--" I started, then broke into tears. I managed to explain to him that the Sniller's had bought the circus and planned on closing it. He was very understanding the whole time.

"I think I better let you go now," he told me after I was done talking/sobbing. I agreed and stepped aside to let Trowa talk to him. I can't believe I just started bawling in front of Quatre. I don't know what he must think of me now. I bet he believes me to be some sort of basket case, and sadly, he wouldn't be that far from the truth.

I've begun packing up my things. I find myself wandering about the circus grounds often during these dreary days, taking in everything familiar so that I may have it in my memory forever. The builders are due to come at the end of the year and tear everything down. Relena and Hilde have both offered to help me until I can find another job and a place to live. I really don't know what's going to happen to me. All I know is that I'm going to miss this place more than I can bear.

Oct 31-

Well, another year at the circus is almost gone. Soon it will be Christmas. The holiday season is usually is my favorite time of year, but I know Trowa will be leaving. And then I'll be kicked out of my home and the circus will be destroyed and Dale will have the last laugh. What an unhappy ending.

For two weeks in December, Manager has given the entire circus crew time off. "My present to you," he told us all today. "Let us remember all of the happy times we've had here, but do not dwell on our losses. I want all of you to have a wonderful holiday without having to worry about work."

Later, however, he pulled me aside. "Catherine," he said, in his best fatherly tone, "I've been worried about you. I want you to use this upcoming vacation to enjoy yourself…"

Uh oh, I thought. I knew what was coming.

He kept talking, "…you know, go out, be with people your own age, go on dates."

I guess I couldn't hide the look of horror that crossed my face, because he continued in a softer tone and said, "You know I'm only telling you this for your own good. You're like a daughter, you know." And he gave me a huge hug. Ahh, bear hugs…my biggest weakness. I never could resist one.

Quatre has invited Trowa and I, along with all of the other former Gundam pilots and the girls to spend Christmas in his Alpine Mansion. Jeez! I feel so lucky to have such well-off friends. If I plan well, maybe I can just bum off of them and not have to worry about making any money for the rest of my life. (Jk! J)

Trowa and I arrived at Quatre's today. His estate is breathtaking! And it's even more amazing to know that this is only Quatre's winter home. He still has his mansion on Colony L4 and a few other houses scattered about the colonies and on Earth. But I guess that wouldn't be so amazing if you're the richest man in the world. Must be nice.

~~~

I feel as though I am in a winter wonderland! It is at least helping to take my mind off of the circus.

Relena and Heero are here, as well as Hilde and Duo. Dorothy, Sally and Wufei are due to arrive tomorrow. Quatre is ever the gentleman as usual, but I have not seen him much, as he is busy entertaining all of his other guests, as well as trying to keep his business affairs in check.

December 20-

I don't feel too well this morning. For some reason, I can't remember anything I did last night. Hmmm. Oh! But I just had the strangest dream, it was so real. Quatre, of all people, was tucking me into bed and I gushed out all of my feelings to him, about being depressed and such. The strange thing was, he actually listened to me and looked like he cared, or at least understood me. It felt very comforting. It was a good dream.

~~~

OH CRAP! Crap, crap, crappity, crap! Just heard from the girls that my dream WAS or could have possibly been REAL. I am mortified! It all started at the breakfast table this morning, where the pilots and the girls sat, minus Quatre, who was apparently taking a business call. After a few snickers among them, it was obvious everyone was staring at me very strangely. I thought I might have had something on my face, but then Duo looked right at me and said, "So how's Bob?"

"What?" I replied, totally confused.

"You mean, you don't remember?" Relena asked me. "Oh dear."

The girls daintily excused themselves from the table and practically dragged me out of my chair into another room. They then proceeded to explain that last night I had gone a little past my limit in the alcohol department.

"Boy, were you drunk!" squealed Hilde, slapping me on the back with a laugh.

"But you were the life of the party, Cathy, honest!" Dorothy tried to comfort me as I stood there petrified. It didn't work.

Apparently, by the time I had begun chugging wine straight from the bottle and then proceeded to hold a conversation with the Chardonnay, which I had named "Bob," my friends had enough sense to realize I was drunk and sent me off to bed. I was worthless trying to get back upstairs to my room totally inebriated. Somehow Relena, the sly little vixen, hinted to Quatre to help me to my room.

"Oh my God!" I shouted when I realized what had happened.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with a little intervention," said Hilde, smiling maniacally at Relena, both proud of their matchmaking handiwork. (I believe by this time I had grown quite pale).

"Oh, Cathy, I wish you were semi-conscious when he carried you up the stairs. It looked like something from a fairy tale! So romantic!" Dorthy sighed dreamily.

"So, -ahem- did anything happen after that?" Hilde asked, giving me a hopeful look.

"I'll tell you what happened!" I blurted out, now completely horrified. "I made a total ass out of myself. I think I managed to tell Quatre-boy about the whole sad, pitiful situation that I call MY LIFE, and now I am utterly humiliated. Argh! He probably thinks I am the biggest loser! Must throw something…need calm…"

I looked around frantically. Peeking around the corner, I looked back into the dining room. "Ahh…is that a butter knife I spy?"

~~~

After the girls had to restrain me from the appealing stress-relief of knife throwing, they took me back to my room and recommended that I take a bubble bath and think things through. Looking back, I am very thankful to have such good friends. Sure, they didn't realize until too late that I was obviously way drunk, but at least they saved me my dignity, for I swear I was this close to running into that dining room, snatching up all the butter knives and taking target practice on those snickering Gundam pilots who found amusement in my misfortunes. But, that would have probably ruined my chances of ever being invited to this beautiful mansion ever again. Thank God for the girls!

~~~

Well, I have managed to avoid every one all day. I really needed to be alone. I've stayed in my room, read through some books and did a lot of thinking. Somehow, the girls gracefully excused my absence at the dinner table, avoiding the subject of the night before. They then smuggled in some goodies afterwards. So thoughtful!

I think this day went surprisingly well, considering the circumstances. But, I know I cannot hide in my room, avoiding the inevitable forever. Soon, I will have to face Quatre. How embarrassing this all is! I was thinking back to what I had said, and now I feel so vulnerable. I told Quatre everything about me. I wonder if he'll tell anyone? I wonder if he thinks of me differently now? I wonder what he thought of me before?

Things about last night are starting to come back to me. I remember somewhat waking up as Quatre lay me down on the bed and began to tuck me in. He was so gentle. I think I had the courtesy to thank him in my drunken state and he said it was no trouble and moved to leave me. But then…the tears began to fall. I didn't think he saw them, but he did. He sat down on my bed without saying a word. I remember looking up at him and feeling as though I could tell him anything. And I did. I told him about the circus and about Trowa and how I used to be so happy. I told him how lonely I felt now…lonely and ignored. I asked him if I was real. I honestly remember thinking that I didn't even exist. I think he took my hand after that and when I felt his touch, I knew I was still alive and not just some memory fading into a shadowed world. I assume he left me after that. I don't know how long I talked to him, but when I woke up, he was gone.

I can scarcely believe what I just heard today! The circus will not be closing, and has, in fact, been funded to run another five years without any worries of going bankrupt! I discovered, from what Trowa has told me, that this was all due to the fact that the Sniller family business was bought out by another company, and that, in the deal, the circus was directly handed over to the Mystery Company! The new owner has hopes to keep the circus up and running for a very long time. Dale didn't get his revenge after all and now I'm not out of a job. I wanted to find Quatre and talk to him about the good news; hopefully it would be a good icebreaker after the awkward situation the other night. Unfortunately, the only person I could find to help me was Rashid, who told me that his master had been called away for a short day trip, but should be returning tomorrow. Jeez, Quatre is such a busy guy. He travels from one part of the world to another like he was Superman! I really don't know how he does it.

Quatre was back today and I found some time to approach him. Rashid led me into his office so that I might speak with him. I bounded in the office with a little more enthusiasm than was probably acceptable for a sane person, but I didn't really care at the time. "Can you believe it?" I asked Quatre, hopping up to his desk. "The circus has been saved! I've never been so happy in all my life!"

He looked exhausted from his trip, but managed to give me a smile. "I'm glad you are happy. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"I just wonder who this secretive company is that bought out the Sniller's business. I would very much like to thank them," I told him.

He just shrugged his shoulders and smiled again.

I then felt bold enough to breach the subject of my drunken display from two nights ago. Slowly, I began, "Oh, and I wanted to thank you…for…well…helping me the other night. I'm so sorry if I inconvenienced you. My behavior was inexcusable--"

"Don't worry so much," Quatre interrupted me.

"I always seem to thoroughly embarrass myself in front of you," I confessed.

"And I don't mind one bit. You certainly add a little spice to my life," he told me.

"Quatre, you have a call on line one!" his secretary shouted. He got up and approached me to excuse himself to take the call.

"Well, I guess I'll go then. See ya Quatre! I feel like I could fly!" and with that I hugged his surprised form in a fit of happiness and fluttered away, leaving him with a puzzled look on his face.

"Excuse me, miss," Quatre's secretary called to me after I stepped out of Quatre's office. "You wouldn't happen to be Catherine, would you?"

"Why yes," I said, a little surprised.

"So you're the one whose got him all riled up. I thought so. But, I can't say I'm surprised. Mr. Winner never has been known to exaggerate," the sweet, old woman told me with a smile. "Yes, you are the most beautiful young lady one ever did see!"

"Why, thank you," I stammered.

"He usually never does any major business on his vacation, but for you, he was willing to make an exception. He is the kindest young gentleman I've ever known."

"Why, yes, I'm certain he is," I agreed. "It was nice speaking with you," I told the kind woman before leaving in a daze.

"Relena Darlian!" I shouted this morning, as I approached her determinedly. "What are you all hiding from me? I had the most interesting little conversation with Quatre's secretary yesterday. What did she mean when she told me Quatre was doing business on his vacation just for me?"

"You weren't supposed to know about that!" Relena said clasping her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Mrs. Tealeaf! She's such a sweet old thing, isn't she?"

"Relena, stop stalling. What’s going on?"

"Ok, ok, look. Quatre didn't want to make a big deal about this. He's such a humble guy, so sweet and shy...oh Cathy!"

"Relena…" I said, becoming annoyed.

"Alright, jeez, gimme a break. I guess you'd find out anyway. It's all over the papers. Quatre's business was the one that bought out Sniller's. He saved the circus just for you, although he'll never admit that to me. I think it's just the sweetest thing ever, don't you?"

I was stunned. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"Well," said Relena, "he didn't want to make you feel as though you owed him anything. I think he took Dale's payback very hard when Sniller attacked you by threatening to close the circus and not Quatre himself. I mean, Quatre was the one who punched him in the first place."

"That was a good punch, wasn't it?" I sighed dreamily.

"Yes it was. Quatre's very protective of you, whether you realize it or not," Relena informed me.

"Hmm." I would have to thank Quatre later. I can't believe he would do such a thing for me. That was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. And he didn't even want to take credit for it. He is most definitely the kindest man I have ever met.

December 24 (Evening)--

Yay! It's Christmas Eve! Tonight the whole gang is supposed to have a wonderful dinner celebration, so I've put on my finest. And this time, I'm staying away from the booze.

December 25 (Christmas Day)-

Well, I don't really know what to say. My hand is shaking as I'm writing this. There's so much that has happened in the past few hours that I honestly don't think I can write it all down. But I'll try, so here it goes, from the beginning…

The dinner last night was luxurious. Quatre really knows how to throw a party. After the meal, everyone was relaxing in the den with the faint melody of holiday music desperately trying to fill the background. You see, Quatre and Trowa had just performed a beautiful rendition of "O Holy Night" in a flute and violin duet and somehow the songs on the radio just couldn't compare. Hot cocoas were being passed around the fire and warm conversation hung in the air. It really was a perfect evening. After Quatre and Trowa were done entertaining us with music, I took the opportunity to thank Quatre for all that he had done to help the circus.

I wandered over to where he was leaning absent-mindedly against the window, watching the falling snow. "It really is beautiful, isn't it?" I said, gazing at the crystal flakes.

He turned his head at the sound of my voice, looked into my eyes and then smiled. "Yes, beautiful."

"Quatre, I know what you did to help the circus. I just wanted to thank you. The circus means so much to me; it's my life. I can't bear to think of what would have happened if Dale were to close it," I explained to him.

"There is no need to thank me about the whole circus situation because I was the one who caused it," Quatre began. "I know how much you love that place and my greatest nightmare would have come true if I had let Dale ruin your happiness."

Before I had the chance to answer, Hilde's voice echoed across the room. "Woo-hoo! Look everyone! Look who's standing under the mistletoe!"

I froze as both Quatre and I looked up in embarrassment to see that we were the two suckers who happened to be hovered under that taunting little leaf. Everyone turned around to see what we would do and I caught Trowa cross his arms and give me a protective brotherly look.

"Kiss! Kiss!" yelled Hilde, Relena, Dorothy, and Sally to make the situation that much more awkward.

I stole a glance at Quatre, whose cheeks had by now turned quite red, and I was almost positive mine were blazing at the same intensity. Wishing to have the whole ordeal over with, I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, whispering, "Thank you, again," about his help with the circus, and then excused myself and rushed into the kitchen mumbling something about needing more cocoa. My entire coarse of action took less than a minute, but I was utterly mortified nonetheless and I was sure I had left Quatre stunned in equal embarrassment.

I stood leaning over the kitchen counter with both hands, deciding what to do next. Imagine my surprise when the door to the kitchen flew open a few moments later! It was Quatre and he marched towards me with a determined look in his eyes.

"You're not just going to leave me hanging there like that, are you?" he said wildly. "How do you expect me to stay sane when I'm this close to you and I don't even get the chance to give you a proper kiss?"

In total shock, all I could do at that point was stare, and stare I did.

"So now, in a crazed fit of passion, I would like to take this opportunity to receive the benefits of Fortune's kindness when She happened to place you next to me under the mistletoe."

The next thing I knew, Quatre had whisked me into his arms and gave me the most amazing, passionate kiss on Earth. He then pulled away, looked down at the ground, sighed, looked back up at me, ran hand through his hair and gave me a contented smile. "Well," he said, in all politeness, " I feel much better now. Thank you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I managed to breathe. "What just happened?"

"Catherine," he said, "I really don't know how to explain it, but I'll tell you this: you are the most beautiful, kind, intelligent, and down-to-earth woman I have ever known, and you've managed to make me fall madly in love with you."

"Hmm," I said as I found myself quite pleased with what I was hearing. "So, you're insanely in love with me, and just being close to me drives you crazy?"

"Totally and completely," he answered matter-of-factly. "I can barely control myself around you. You must have noticed how I struggled these past few days."

"Well, Quatre," I answered, "you are very good at hiding your emotions. I must say, I'm at a loss for words."

"Then tell me you feel the same," he said with intensity in his eyes as he took my hand.

I paused for a moment and then smiled gently at him, "I do," I said shyly. "I do feel the same way."

And upon hearing my words, his usual serenity washed over him and his face softened. He pulled me in again for another kiss; a gentle, warm and loving kiss, and the rest of the night passed away like a dream.

I'm fairly sure we re-entered the den sometime later, looking somewhat disheveled, but our friends, kind as they are, asked no questions. I know Relena and the girls will bombard me with an interrogation later today, but for now, I am at peace.

Since the clock struck twelve, the whole group decided to open a few gifts early. Trowa gave me a beautiful antique photo album, full of pictures of us at the circus, and also a few conspicuous photos of himself and Quatre and the rest of the Gundam gang. "I don't want you to get too lonely without me," my little brother smirked.

Sometime later, Quatre pulled me aside, taking out a small wrapped box. "The moment I saw it, I thought of you," he said as he urged me to open it.

Inside, there was a necklace with an intricately decorated pendant. It was in the shape of a sheath of a sword, adorned in gold and silver. And, to my surprise, there was a tiny knife inside that could be taken out of the sheath.

"It's lovely!" I exclaimed and told Quatre that he really shouldn't have bought me such a gift. "Normally, most guys are scared when they learn I throw knives," I told him. "No one has ever given me one before, much less one so delicate and beautiful."

"You should never forget who you are and what you can do. That's why I got this for you during one of my meetings in Egypt. I've actually had it for a long time, but no moment ever seemed right to give it to you. I wanted to let you know how truly impressive you are, and how I'd never want you to change. Too many of the women I meet try to act like someone they aren't or have no respect for themselves. But you, you're different, you're so real."

The guy did have a way with women, and it felt good to know I was the woman he wanted. Smooth and sensitive, that's Quatre for ya. I think I melted even before he spoke, he just had that affect on the opposite sex. And his eyes, God, I love his eyes. Ack, but enough! Here I go gushing again!

And so this is where my story seems to end. Quatre and I did become a couple. He invited me to accompany him during a series of meetings he had in the European nations before settling in his secretive getaway house in the Caribbean for a relaxing vacation. How could I refuse? With Trowa working for the Preventers, the circus wouldn't have been the same. Upon hearing my plans, Manager actually said he would fire me if I didn't take Quatre's offer. And when I told Trowa the news, my dear little brother said that he was just happy that we were both happy. So, I think I am finally content. I don't feel the need to write in this diary anymore.

Oh but wait--you want to know what happened after Quatre gave me the necklace, don't you? Well…

"…you're so real." Quatre said tenderly, putting my hand to his cheek.

And then he brought his face up to mine, and closed in for a kiss, but stopped just so that our lips were almost touching. "Merry Christmas" he whispered, then pulled away coyly. It was so cute, so sweet, so seductive. Rrrrrowww! I love that! I love…him.

And I put my arm around him and I hugged him. I think those simple gestures are the most beautiful. We just held each other and all of time and space faded away. The last thing I remember was watching the flickering sparks of the fire and the glow of the burnt embers as I fell asleep in Quatre's arms to the soft crackle of the dwindling flames.

~~~

YAY! That's the end! Hoped you liked it. And thank you so very much for reading!!!

~ Silent Moon Sphinx

AN: I would now like to give due credit to the two novelists who inspired my little story: Jane Austen, author of Pride and Prejudice, and Helen Fielding, author of Bridget Jones's Diary, which is sort of a modern day Pride and Prejudice. Bridget Jones's Diary is the work that inspired me to write in a diary format for my story. Pride and Prejudice is just a good 'ole fashioned love story. Both pieces of literature actually follow the same basic story line, which I found my story to be modeled after. It goes something like this: girl meets guy, girl doesn't like guy, guy grows on girl, problems arise, guy saves girl, guy gets girl. It's actually a formula used quite often in romance stories, if you think about it. So, I would just like to recommend both stories to anyone who is a hopeless romantic like myself, although Bridget Jones's Diary does contain some mature themes, and Pride and Prejudice can get a little boring at some points (see the A&E movie version, it's amazing)! With that said, I will now go back to my pitiful life of writing Gundam Wing romance fanfiction and living vicariously through the characters.

Oh, and thanks as always, Lady Perina, for putting up with all of my craziness. ^_~