Jokes

to my Jokes Page

Relax and share some light moments and laughters with me .........

The Supercilious Seed

A little seed lay in the ground
   And soon began to sprout;
"Now, which of all the flowers around,
   Shall I," it mused, "come out?"

The seed could then be heard saying,
"I don't care to be a rose. It has thorns. I have no desire to be a lily, It's too colorless. And I certainly wouldn't want to be a violet. It's too small, and it grows too close to the ground."

And so it criticized each flower,
   That supercilious seed,
Until it woke up one summer hour
   And found itself a weed!

A BUSINESSMAN driving to work each day goes by a storefront marked "Helmut Schuller's Chinese Laundry." What is that all about, he thinks. Every day he notices the sign, every day he thinks about it. Finally, he is transferred and, on his last day, stops into the little shop. He is greeted by an elderly Chinese gentleman who offers to be of assistance.

"I would like to meet Helmut Schuller."

"I am Helmut Schuller," says the elderly Chinese gentleman.

"I don't mean to be rude," says the businessman, "but you are obviously Chinese, and Helmut Schuller is an unusual name for you to have. Would you tell me the story?"

"It goes back to Ellis Island, on the day I came to this country. There were lines everywhere and, before you could leave the facility, you had to record your name with a man who gave you the release paperwork.

"I was in line behind a big German, and the man asked him his name. 'Helmut Schuller,' said the German. The man wrote that down. Then he looked at me and asked, 'What's your name?' .... and I replied, 'Sam Ting.' "

Do You Love Attention?

A young man stood up in a crowded room and loudly said, "Excuse me, everybody, excuse me! Could I please have your attention?" The noisy chatter stopped and everyone's eyes turned toward him. At that point the young man grinned and said, "Thank you! I just love attention!" Then he sat down.

"WHY IS IT," said the poor woman to the wise man, "that the rich, who have more money than they need, can buy on credit? The poor, who have hardly any money, have to pay cash. Is that fair?"

"That's the way it is," said the wise man, "and that's the way it has to be."

"But common sense tells us that it should be the other way around," said the poor woman. "The rich, who have all the money, should pay cash and the poor should be able to buy on credit."

"I admire your compassion," said the wise man, "but a merchant who extends credit to the poor instead of the rich will soon become a poor man himself."

"So?" retorted the poor woman, "as soon as he's poor, he'll be able to buy on credit too!"

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws