| Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? A - Almost Boobs B - Barely there C - Can Do D - Damn good E - Enormous F - Fake *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives. Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* PICK-UP LINES Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. Nice shoes... wanna fuck?? Can I flirt with you?? Fuck me if I'm wrong... but don't you want to kiss me? How 'bout you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up. DICTIONARY OF DATING ATTRACTION: the act of associtating horniness with a particular person. EASY: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. FRIEND: a person in your acquantiance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing. SOBER: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are four kinds of sex: HOUSE SEX: When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX: After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX: After you've been married for so many years, you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU!" COURTROOM SEX: When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce courtroom in front of many people for every penny you've got. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So, the little boy asked the stewardess the same question. The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The little boy nodded. With a clever grin, the stewardess said, "Tell your mom it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Condom Page Personalized Plate Dirty Quiz Rejected Valentine Cards Trouser Snake A nun joins the 21st century Dirty, dirty Kermit |
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| ^ Won't this be a sad, sad day? Think of all the things I said I'd do then!! **shines her halo** |