F. W. Colqhoun's  Movie Reviews
We took shelter in a cave and waited for the storm to pass. The storm did not pass. So we watched movies.
           C'mere!!
              O-ho!!
Historically accurate, consistent. Mrs. MacCready likes the close-ups of Joseph.

***
Nice historical drama. Joe's head is too pointy for the tonsure, though.

***
                      Luther
       The Count of Monte Cristo
WTF? It's Boyd's face, but the hair...the clothes...the weaselly demeanor...He's been possessed by the spirit of Lindus!

***
A decent movie on its own, and the bizarro nancy-Boyd was surreal.

***
Gags would have been funny in a Leslie Nielson movie 20 years ago, but don't work any more.

**
I only rate it this high because of the penguins. I like penguins.

**
                   Madagascar
                         CQ Interesting and funny.  The real amusement came from seeing Toffler with a Chekov haircut.

*****
Mrs. MacCready says Toffler is cute in this and she likes his boxer shorts.

****
Jennifer couldn't save this
one. It went nowhere.

*
                   Dark Water Started off good, but too formulaic, and the ending sucked.

*
                     Memento Don't expect to be spoon-fed by this intricate puzzle of a movie. Pay attention, because it's really good!

*****
Boyd is again beset by hard luck and cruel fate. Mrs. MacCready can't stop slobbering over his tatooed torso. I may have to kill her.

*****
The dragons were not bad, considering.

***
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Too much film wasted on trivial things and not enough spent on plot.

**
The Adventures of Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert
I didn't think I could enjoy a movie that consistently subjected me to Hugo Weaving in a dress, but after a while it almost seemed normal.

*****
Boyd is happy, talkative, and wears wigs and G-strings on a funny, funny  road trip with the other girls.

*****
Ratings Key:

Belts, shoes, any roots we could dig up
** My own dog
*** All the horses
**** The oxen
***** Real nourishment
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