| |||
Date: January - September 1997 | |||
I had received a phone at home from dad saying that mum was being rushed to hospital and she probably won't last the night. (Well she proved them wrong it was 4 weeks later.) I was given the OK by my boss to take the day off, this being a Saturday as well and prepared myself for the journey to the hospital and the last day of my mum's life. I never did like being at the hospital but who does? Mum was being sedated so she was more comfortable but lacked the energy to talk but I didn't care I was just happy to be with her, well I thought. It was about 5 o'clock when the wards men came in and said that my husband had just rang and my boss needed me at work ASAP "you have to be joking" was my first thoughts she had covered my shift what went wrong? | |||
| My blood was boiling and I was confused but I managed to make my way home after the most heart wrenching good-bye anyone could give, but I would be back that night I promised. Sometimes I look back and still can't remember how I drove home but I did and as always my wonderful husband who has given me all my strength had my clothes ready for work and he to was puzzled why this had happen. I would never off guessed what was installed for me as I walked though those doors at work. | |||
| All of a sudden I was over come with these terrible feelings. My head was racing with thoughts I couldn't control. How could my boss treat me like this? I'm a good person, I have never asked for time off before. My hands where sweating, I was shaking my breathing was fast. What was happening to me? Eventually I would find out and meet my new friend | |||
"PANIC ATTACK" someone who will always pop up unannounced. | |||
 | |||
I did manage to take the escalator upstairs to the staff room when 2 Duty Managers pulled me a side, who now had just became aware of my situation, "Oh my God" we are so sorry this has happen but it will be straighten out at once. This was the first time in ages I felt some support from work and I was so grateful for it plus just placed in front of me was the most delicious hot meal with instructions from the chef to eat-up. The duty officers had words to my boss and also explained to her even though she was a Manager due to go on holidays tomorrow it still was her responsibility to do the work yourself and not to take advantage of me. | |||
If only she could take a step back, and realize that she wasn't the only person who has given up their time in a crisis. From that night on, she would become the boss from hell and the cause of my health problem. It was now nearly an hour since I had walked through those doors at work and I was again on my way back to the hospital thanks to the duty managers, but I still had those terrible feelings. Slowly creeping into the room I found my sister and mother sleeping peacefully if only my boss could see for herself what I having been dealing with for the last 7 Months, but I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. | |||
| Hey wait a minute she is, but I'm not like that I want scoop to her level. The night passed with a few problems but as a real fighter my mother had survived once again. I had 2 day's off and spent every minute with mum and the family at home but still was worried about work and my boss. | |||
| I spent the next 2 weeks enjoying my work as always and every another moment with mum. (Lucky for me my boss was still on holidays) With the help of a 24/7 a day home care assistance we could take turns and care for mum at home. The nurses were wonderful, taking their time over and over again in showing us how to inject mums morphine. They even arranged her oxygen tank and a hospital bed equipped with an air mattress, which was to help prevent bedsores. | |||
Monday morning, She's back! My nightmare. | |||
| This is the 1st time since that night we had spoken, she started to approach me and my warning signs start flashing… RED ALERT ! ! RED ALERT ! ! | |||
| I began having flashbacks of that night my stomach was doing somersaults I just froze. Before a single word was exchange I took the flight reaction not the fight, I had given in. I finally was able to compose myself after taking a few pills and returned to my workstation but I tell you it wasn't easy. | |||
| There was always this cold feeling around me whenever my boss was near but it took every bit of my strength to work with her and take all the crap she could dish out to me for that night. My panic attacks reared it's ugly head nearly everyday when working with her, but I still seem to manage but not for long. | |||
Sadly today after 4 day's in a coma my mother passed away. | |||
 | |||
| |||
 | |||
