Why do I always have this "what-am-i-doing-here" feeling?

Took the train to Eger, feeling completely lost. The train station is miles away from the town centre (glad I didn't take my backpack). Finally got there, found the tourist info, booked two rooms in two different pensions, ended up going to a third one. Coz I was lost up on the hill, after walking two hours under the sun, I gave up. Saw the word 'FREI' ('free' in German) outside a small cottage, I knocked, a fat old man who looked very unfriendly open the door, I asked if there's still free room, he nodded, then I followed him upstairs. So now I'm here, sitting in this really broke pension room. I got the feeling that maybe it's just an normal household, it's not a pension, that guy just let me in because he doesn't understand what I said and I looked poor. I started to regret again. Maybe I shouldn't have come...... Feeling extremely tired (getting lost used up my energy), dun wanna go anywhere (though it seems there're lot I can do tonite), not even feel hungry anymore (though haven't had anything since breakfast), just wanna sit here, be still.

28/7/01．Eger．4:05pm