suzuki

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The story of;
THE SUZUKI & THE PUDDLE

Once upon a time, Mrs Cuthbertdilly was cleverly driving home (cleverly because she only hit 2 of the 5 children playing in the field she took a detour through) when suddenly an old man called Mr Spankypants shouted "Look out for that puddle, Cuthbertdilly!!!"

She ignored Mr Spankypants and carried on driving - still cleverly seeing as she old killed 1 of the 3 puppies on the sidewalk.
Then a big nasty puddle pooped (sorry) popped (that's better) out of nowhere saying "Glub Glub! Glubble Glub... Glubbidy Glububub! Glub. Glub. Glubub! Glubble Glub - Glubbidy. Glub Glububble Glub? GLUUUBBB!!!! Glub Glububub Glubble G-l-u-b. Glub!" (which in english means 'I am a big nasty puddle'

The poor suzuki (Mrs Cuthbertdilly isn't important) was sinking in the water of the puddle on the road in the field in the district in the city in the state in the country in the world. Or in shorthand - It got wet. Very wet.
Everyone was crying 'Oh, the poor poor suzuki!' and some were shouting 'Oh, the humanity!' and one naked man was yelling 'Look at me! I'm wobbly!'

People gathered from miles around (especially Russia and Sweden) to try and pull the Suzuki out. The naked man was shot, Mr Spankypants was raped and Mrs Cuthbertdilly escaped - but that's not important right now.
What was important was the wellbeing of the car. People pulled - The farmer, his wife, the boy, the girl, the cow, the dog, the cat and the mouse pulled but they couldn't move the giant turnip!

Sorry, wrong story! Where was I? Oh yes.... My tea.
Anyhow, the people gave up, stood still and called on a vicar to hold a funeral for the dying car - there and then.
But they couldn't afford a proper vicar (bloody peasents!) so instead, they dressed a rather attractive Llama in a collar (dog collar - not a vicar's collar) and made him perform the service, followed by rat cake!

The moral of this story is to not have ridiculous names, not to dance around naked singing 'Look at me! I'm wobbly!' and especially don't give your grandmother viagra!
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my story I'm now off to rob a pre-school and get a sandwich off a nun.

C-ya soon, from Monty. GoT0 MAIN

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