A guide to some of life's toughest questions about dating, friends, and family.

Is it okay to tell a friend something when you think they are making a bad decision?
- Celia, Forest of Ardenne
Although it may be awkward at times, any friend who is about to make a bad decision deserves frankness. If they are courting someone who is bad for them, go into self destructive mode, or have an identity crisis, it's your duty to speak your mind and stay by their side. If it is something more trivial, like they are wearing a bumroll that isn't all that flattering, then let it slide. People can only take so much criticism, so save your advice and guidance for when they'll need it most.

My sister is a complete brat but everyone thinks she's perfect! How can I get people to see the truth?
- Kate, Padua
First, talk with your sister. Let her know that she is behaving poorly and that no man will want such a rude wife. Explain to her that in order to be desireable, she must be calm, rational, and obedient. Behaving like a "brat" will get her nowhere. You can also try and take advantage of certain situations in which she is misbehaving. If anyone is around, make sure that their attention is drawn to her bad conduct. But be shrewd about it! You don't want to end up looking like the bad daughter.

Why does love look not with the eyes, but with the mind? I mean, my ex-fiancée thinks he's in love with my best friend but I think he's created some unrealistic version of what she really is. Why doesn't he love me anymore? Or better yet, why do I still love him?
-Helena, Athens
Poor Helena. What can I say? The course of true love never did run smooth. If what you are saying is true, and you were betrothed, then he obviously had strong feelings for you at one time or another. He may be afraid of a real commitment and therefore is probably just infatuated with this friend of yours becasue she is unattainable. Fear not. He'll come around eventually. The best way to make him more comfortable and make his phobia subside is to let things unfold one step at a time.

Help! I'm in love with the most amazing man but I don't know what to do because he is engaged to a noble woman! Granted it is an arranged marriage, but he has to marry her all the same! I know he doesn't love her! He can't! He loves only me! I cannot bare to live without him! He is my entire world! I'd just as soon die than let another woman have him! What can I do to win him back?
-Cleo, Eygpt
Easy on the dramatics there Cleo. You seem to get a little too emotional in matters of the heart. Don't be the queen of denial. It seems that your man has made his choice and that it does not include you. He seems set on marrying this woman, arranged or otherwise. If what you say is true and he does love you, why doesn't he call the wedding off? He has that right as a man in today's society. It's not like this marriage is necessary in order to defeat Pompey or anything. You may just have to let him go.

I have recently been reunited with an old love of mine. We have been getting along quite well, bantering with each other like old times and competing constantly. However, I recently learned from my cousin that this man is in love with me again. I am sure his purpose is marriage, but I for one do not want to be wed. I refuse to be under the control of a man. I am my own woman and need someone who is my equal. But my problem is that I am afraid some of the love I felt for this man before has been rekindled. How can I be free of society's conformity and still be with the man I love?
- Beatrice, Messina

You really need to watch your tongue, Beatrice. Women get put in branks for saying less than you did. You are lucky to have found a man who loves you so much that time has not made his heart waver. Silence is a virtue that I suggest you learn quickly.


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