By: River Rat
I never liked the vampire I was about to meet, he always grated on my nerves in the worst way. Most people and monsters alike like that usually didn�t last long, but he was a good informant. Buzz the vampire, a bouncer at Jean-Claude�s strip club Guilty Pleasures usually always had something to tell me about when I was in St. Louis, for the right price.
Tonight, however, the vampire was late for our meeting. I waited, leaning against the wall of the brick building, perturbed. Finally, the vampire showed his fanged face. The bouncer always reminded me a bit of Hercules, muscles bulging out of his tight black t-shirt in places muscles shouldn�t have been.
I nodded in his direction. �Buzz.�
He nodded as well, crossing his arms. �Death. So what do you want to know this time?�
I shrugged. I didn�t really have anything in particular in mind this time. �Have you seen Anita lately?� I asked casually, curious what she was up to on the vampire side of St. Louis.
�Yeah, a couple times this month. She popped in Guilty Pleasures a few times looking for Jean-Claude. She smelled of boredom. I think she hasn�t had much action in the past couple months.�
I raised an eyebrow, seeming indifferent. �Define action.�
Buzz grinned, then shrugged. �I dunno. All kinds, I guess. She and her many boys haven�t been on the best of terms lately. And, as far as I�ve heard, the vampire hunting business has been slow too. I think she�s been wanting an adventure lately.�
An adventure, huh? I could do that.
========
I woke up to a blessedly empty bed. I had been surly for the past few months, and duly kicked the wereleopards out of my room, wanting some space of my own at night. They shared the guest bedroom now, which seemed to be a good place for them. Beginning to feel like a babysitter, I was wishing Micah would get his own house and take the pard with him. I loved my leopards, but they were like small children, and I didn�t want children right then.
When I walked past the kitchen table seeking my first cup of coffee, instead I found a long stemmed wildflower with a note attached to it. It said, �Come to Albuquerque, I promise you wont regret it.� The flower looked suspiciously like one from my garden.
I raised an eyebrow at the piece of flora left on my table, obviously from Edward. The offer was tempting, because I was thoroughly bored, but I needed more info than just a single phrased note. I called Edward�s number, and left a message on his answering service. �Edward, it�s Anita. Call me.� Short and sweet, just like me. Well, maybe I wasn�t sweet.
The phone range almost immediately after I had left the message. �Hello?�
�Anita.�
�Edward. What the hell�s going on?�
�Come down to Albuquerque. You�ll see.�
�Do you need backup?�
�Something like that.�
Growling to myself, I prodded further. �Is this going to be dangerous?�
�It could be. Are you coming?�
I paused to think. I was nearly bored to tears around here, nothing what so ever had been happening. At all. Any where. Edward always promised an adventure, even if they were life threatening. �Yeah, I�m coming. When?�
�Right now is fine with me.�
�Me too.�
�Good. I�ll pick you up in Albuquerque then in about six hours.� He hung up. It was amazing that I could pack, drive to the air port, buy a ticket, and be in the very southwest corner of this country in a quarter of a day.
======
�What what? No Hummer?� Anita asked as I unlocked the door to my new dark blue Chevy Silverado 2500.
�The Hummer was nice, but flashy. This is less conspicuous,� I answered. It was also less recognizable, particularly to Donna. Make no mistake, I still had the Hummer parked in my garage. But this did as well, and with the Z71 four wheel drive it could go pretty much anywhere.
Donna and I had called off the marriage. She got too close of a look at what I really am. Even though Anita and I saved her kids, she still didn�t want to marry someone that bloody. I had tried to keep her out of it, but as Anita says, the shit hit the fan. It was probably for the better. I wanted to take care of Donna, she was a mess, but I didn�t love her. If I was capable of loving anyone in the world, it was Anita.
After stopping once to eat lunch, we arrived back at my place around noon. After unloading the bags from the back of the pickup and walking to the front door step, much to our surprise we found a nicely sized diamondback rattler sunning himself on my front step. �Just make yourself at home,� I growled at the sleeping reptile, drawing my Beretta.
Just as I was about to waste the scaly thing that just made itself at home on my step Anita knocked my arm skyward, screwing my shot. �Damn it, Anita, what was that for?� I demanded.
The rattler was now awake and annoyed, in a striking position on my front porch. I estimated it to be about a five footer, which gave it a longer striking range than what was pleasant. I grabbed Anita�s arm, pulling her out of range with a few steps back.
�I didn�t want you to shoot it,� she explained.
�Biology major,� I huffed, holstering the gun. �So what do you suggest, Ms. Snake Charmer?� I asked, glaring at the snake so I wouldn�t glare at her.
Frowning at me in turn, she dropped her bags and picked up a stick from the weeds. Sure, the nice way. It didn�t quite seem to suit Anita. Perturbed, I went back to the truck to get something, too annoyed to watch Anita peacefully get rid of the snake.
The sound of Anita grunting in pain turned my attention back to the door. The snake was gone, but Anita was grimacing while holding her leg. I slammed the door, more worried than angry. �If you�d just have let me shoot it, it wouldn�t have bit you,� I pointed out, opening the door.
�Oh shut up,� she said grumpily.
Leaving the door open, I scooped Anita up in my arms to carry her into the kitchen. �I can walk,� she growled.
�Don�t have a fit about it,� I said in a calmer tone. �I just don�t want the poison to circulate far. Walking would just make your blood pump faster. And so does anger, so keep your cool for once in your life, would you?�
�No, Edward, really I��
�It won�t hurt, you�ll be fine. Take off your pants,� I instructed, setting her down on the kitchen table, and grabbing a bowl from the cabinet. When I walked back over to her she had done nothing but cross her arms. �Anita, we have to get out the poison. If��
�I�m immune to poison, Edward, from the third mark. I�ll be fine. Just sore, that�s all.� She raised an eyebrow, a small smile quirking on her lips. The joke was on me, I suppose. That irritated me.
Crossing my arms, I stared down at her sitting on my kitchen table, a small smile appearing on my lips as well. �Then why didn�t you say so?�
�I tried to, but you wouldn�t let me. If it was anyone but you, I�d think you were just trying to get my pants off.�
As Anita seemed to have a talent for, she surprised a laugh out of me. Although tempting, not my exact intentions. On a more serious note, I asked, �If you weren�t already immune to poison, would you have still saved the snake�s life?�
�Sure. It just picked the wrong sunbeam, that�s all. You wouldn�t like it if you were tanning and someone popped a cap in your ass.�
�I don�t sit out tanning,� I pointed out.
�They�re a rare species.�
�Not around here, they aren�t.�
She slid off of the table. �I�m not going to argue, at least not about this. Can I take a shower? I haven�t had one since yesterday morning.�
�Sure, knock yourself out. You know where it is.� A shower didn�t really sound too bad. I had only arrived in Albuquerque a few hours before Anita. I flew into Sante Fe from St. Louis., then drove to Albuquerque.
======
After getting out of the shower and drying off I heard a hard knocking on the front door. When it continued I peeked my head out of the bathroom door, calling out, �Edward, someone�s at the door.� There was no answer, and I could hear the water running in his bedroom, taking a shower of his own. I decided to answer the door myself, belting my burgundy robe tightly around my waist. I took the firestar with me, just in case.
The knocking had become more insistent as time passed. �Coming,� I shouted. Who is it?� I called, standing off to the side of the door.
�It�s Donna,� answered the voice on the other side. Shit. It wouldn�t look the best to open the door in my robe and nothing else for Edward�s fianc� on the other side, but I really had no choice. She already heard my voice that wasn�t Edward�s.
I opened the door, and ushered the deranged new age mother in. �Hey Donna.�
She stepped inside and crossed her arms, just glaring at me for a moment or so. Finally, she said in the snottiest tone she could muster, �Hello, Anita. Where�s Ted?�
�Ted�s in the shower. He should be out soon. He��
�Why are you here?� she interrupted. �This isn�t exactly door answering attire.� Well, the gun was. But I didn�t say that.
�I�m here to help Ed�Ted with�� I realized I still didn�t know why I was down here. It didn�t seem to be anything urgent, or else Edward would have already explained it to me. �A hunt,� I finished my sentence.
Donna�s brow furrowed even further. �A hunt. For some reason I don�t believe you, Anita Blake.�
I sighed, exhausted. I knew she didn�t trust me, and was suspicious, and in her position I would have been too, but I didn�t want to deal with her right then. �Look, I�m going to go get some clothes on. Ted should be right out.�
I turned my back on her to go back to the bathroom, and she shouted, �Don�t you turn your back on me, Anita Blake!�
Anger flaring in my gut, I turned back to her, my eyes gone cold. �What?� I demanded. �What do you want me to say?� My voice had raised as well.
�The truth would be nice,� she demanded, gesturing angrily with her hands.
�Why? What does it matter? You�re not going to believe anything I tell you anyway!�
�Because you never tell me the truth! Just admit that you�re having an affair with Edward, and we can move from there.�
I balled one hand into a fist. The other hand was around the firestar. I didn�t want to squeeze that too tightly. Stepping up close, invading the hell out of her personal space, I looked her in the eye. �Edward. And. I. Are. Not. Lovers.�
�Liar,� she snarled. �The both of you are.�
Now she wasn�t just accusing me of lying, but she was attacking Edward too. That was petty. �After all he�s done for your sorry skinny little ass, I don�t know how you can be so bitchy. You don�t deserve him.�
I stepped back. Donna�s nostrils flared, and then she did something that surprised even me. She slapped me, right across the face. It stung a little, not really painful, but unexpected all the same. �And you think you do?�
My muscles thrummed with the desire to hit her. But I knew if I did, I wouldn�t waste it with a wussy slap. I would deck her, possibly knock her out, and she would probably press assault charges afterwards. That was a complication I did not need.
The feeling of the room changed, and I knew Edward was behind me. He touched my shoulder, telling me without a word to calm down, and not hit his fianc� back. I wasn�t going to anyways, honest.
�What are you doing here, Donna?� he asked, stepping up even with me. I glanced to the side at him. He must have jumped out of the shower when he heard the shouting, because his skin was still beaded with drops of water, his hair was dark from being soaking wet, and all he was wearing was a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. It wasn�t a bad view at all.
�I came to talk to you,� she answered, only glancing down at the towel momentarily. I believed her.
He snorted indignantly. �About what? What could there possibly be left to talk about? The last thing you said to me was to never come near you or your kids again.� Well, that was certainly news. I approved, to be sure, but it was definitely news.
She sighed, and from the pained look in her eyes I actually felt sorry for her. Even after she slapped me. �I�ve had second thoughts,� she admitted.
Edward crossed his arms. �I haven�t. Go home, Donna. You don�t belong here.�
Glancing at me accusingly, she said, �No, I suppose I don�t anymore.� With that she left, slamming the door behind her. We said nothing until we heard her pull out of the driveway.
�Why didn�t you tell me you and Donna had called off the wedding?�
He shrugged. �I guess I didn�t think it was important news.�
I rolled my eyes at that. Of course, he wouldn�t. �Why am I here, Edward? You haven�t really told me why you needed backup.�
Once again, Edward shrugged, a small smile on his lips. �I called you down here for a game of strip poker,� he said sarcastically.
�I�m serious.�
�So am I. One hand, and I�d win!� he jived, tugging at my robe while walking past to the refrigerator, pouring himself a glass of ice water.
�Edward!� I warned.
He set down the glass, leaning on the counter. He crossed his arms again, flexing his arms. I never thought Edward showed off his body on purpose, but I was beginning to wonder. Maybe it was six months of celibacy talking, but her was looking incredibly scrumptious leaning against his counter. �Look, I found out you were bored at home. So was I down here. I thought we could stir up some trouble or something. There always seems to be something that begs for extermination when we�re together. I thought it would be fun.�
I walked the short space from in front of the door to the kitchen. �Well, are you having fun?� I asked, slightly annoyed. My cheek was stinging more than it had before. I touched it to find a small smudge of blood on my fingers. Donna must have scratched me with her nails.
Edward tossed me a wet washcloth for the cut. �I�m always amused when I�m with you.�
�And I�m always bleeding when I�m with you.�
======
�I don�t remember these. Are they new?� Anita asked, looking at the fork she held in her hand. It was silver, with a ring of turquoise around the end. Dinner consisted of lamb with salad, and potato soup. It may have sounded odd, but it was good. Lamb a la Edward, as Anita immediately dubbed it when I told her what it was.
�Sort of. Donna didn�t like them, so I had them put away for a while.�
�I see,� she answered.
After dinner I cleared the plates, and decided to leave them in the sink. I could clean them later.
�So what *fun* thing are we going to do next?� Anita asked. I couldn�t help but think she was annoyed with me for not really having something I needed her help for. Or maybe she was just getting an itchy trigger finger and wanted to hunt something. Either way, she was blaming it on me.
I shrugged, smiling minutely while crossing my arms. A thought crossed my mind, but I didn�t voice it. But when it didn�t just go in one ear and out the other, showing itself again in my thought train, I said jokingly, �We could play strip-poker.�
That won me the laugh and smile I had been hoping for. When she was done chuckling she looked at me, raising an eyebrow, studying me. My expression hadn�t changed. �You�re serious, aren�t you.�
�Sure, why not. What the hell.�
Anita laughed again, a short surprised burst. �You�re joking.�
When I said nothing but kept smiling she realized I wasn�t. �Do you even have a deck of cards?� she asked, tone still unbelieving.
�Who doesn�t?�
�You�re not joking.�
�Nope.� Then I teased, �Never mind, you probably don�t even know how to play cards.�
As I predicted, Anita rose to the challenge. �I do too. Get out those cards, I�ll kick your ass.�
Grinning, I leaned back the legs of my chair and drew out the deck of cards from the drawer on the counter. �We�ll see.�
======
�You better start winning, Edward,� I jived. �Or else not only will I be beating your ass, I�ll be staring at it too.�
The assassin in front of me was down to his undershirt and boxers, his weapons, shoes, sox, and shirt piled on the table. Once again, a nice view. I had only lost my shoes, sox, browning, and one of the knives. Of course, I wasn�t sure if he wasn�t playing badly on purpose. It wouldn�t exactly make sense, but who knows. All I knew was I was trying to keep on all the clothes I could.
�Only if I stand up,� countered Edward. �Call.� I put down my hand, a pair of Queens. �Finally,� said Edward, displaying a full house, three fives and two tens. With a huff I peeled off my last knife, adding it to my pile that was still smaller than Edward�s. �What were you and Donna shouting about?� he asked, shuffling the deck.
�Well, I guess she was pissed to find me answering the door in a robe. She wanted me to just admit that we were having an affair, but I sure as hell wasn�t going to.� When I noticed his amused smile, I quickly added, �Because there wasn�t anything to confess to.�
After saying that, I wasn�t sure if I was sad it was true or not. Oddly, I had never thought that way before either. Maybe I had been jealous of Donna, I don�t know. Maybe I realized I had come close to losing Edward, in a way I had never wanted him.
After I had lost my belt, watch, and shirt, and was about to lose my pants I declared, �I quit,� throwing down my hand of losing cards.
�Wuss,� teased Edward, gathering up all the cards in a neat stack once again.
�I�m not a wuss, I�m prude. There�s a difference.�
�Sure there is,� he said skeptically, standing from his seat and leaning against the table in front of me.
�Oh shut up.� I stood and reached for my shirt. When I tried to pick it up he leaned one hand on it, preventing me. Quirking one eyebrow, I asked, �Can I have my shirt?�
�Not yet,� he answered. Then Edward did something so completely surprising and unexpected I was lucky I didn�t bite my tongue. Or his. Hooking one finger in my belt loop, he pulled me to him, and kissed me.
I could just blame my reaction on six months of celibacy, but that wasn�t exactly it. Edward was just a good kisser. When he began to draw back I caught him by surprise, leaning into him, knocking him backwards into sitting on the table instead of just resting against it. �This could be our best adventure yet,� I murmured as Edward nibbled at my neck.
Looking back up at me, a small smile curled on Edward�s lips as he said, �You ain�t seen nothin� yet.�