Matchmaker
By:Katrion
[email protected]
The scar tissue on my right hand pulled as I
straitened my finger. If I didn’t keep moving the
hand, the tissue would stiffen, and I’d lose mobility.
I glanced at the bottle of pain killers on my new
white marble topped counter. It didn’t take seconds
before my good hand, my left, had closed around the
bottle and thrown it against the crisp, black
cupboards. The new, white tiles sparkled under my
feet. For all I was set as far as all economic needs
went, I hated my restrictions. I had let myself be
injured, let someone get the drop on me. Not just
someone. Many someones.
I couldn’t have been more stupid. How was a girl like
me supposed to take care of a rouge kiss of vampires
alone? Training’s useless, pointless, all it taught
me was how to be gang-beat. No rape. Funny, but I
think they knew I’d kill them all for touching me.
They were careful. Nobody so much as let a finger
touch me. Even worse, then, because that meant they
could fell my powers, feel what I’d do if physical
touch was an issue. Once I’d been afraid of my power.
Once I’d killed my boyfriend kissing him because my
powers were out of control. Now, now I can control it
completely, and I wanted to use it to kill them so bad
it wasn’t funny. Bottles, sharp, painful cuts,
chains, flailing against my soft flesh. And all I
could do was writhe in pain.
Disgusted with myself and unable to so much as make
coffee in my house, I grabbed a twenty off the
counter. I kept a twenty there, most of the time, so
that I wouldn’t have to dig around before leaving. I
could just grab the twenty, walk away, and do
something to take my mind off what I’d let happen.
Today, the great coffee monster was calling. Coffee
was a weak spot of mine, took an edge from the sting
of life.
I entered the café with one thought in mind. White
chocolate mocha with raspberry. It was a particular
treat, because they only sold them for one part of the
year. The month of February. I knew the recipe, I
could make them at home before, but now… now the
coffee machine is too much and I’m left to wonder what
it’s going to be like being me.
I ordered my coffee and used my crutches to move back
away from the line. At first, I was blissfully
unaware of who was in the shop with me, but then I
looked at the people in the line. Crimped hair,
lighter brown eyes. Thin, built with curves, two guns
on her. I wanted to move away, be unnoticed, but
things didn’t go my way. She walked towards me.
“Ahh, Anita.” I said, ever articulate
“My god, what happened to you?” Anita gasped,
remembering Andrea’s proud stance. I been the last to
go down in a fight, and I’d let other people know it.
Now, I was broken and everyone knew it. And they’d
blame it on age.
“I got into a fight.” There was no emotion to the
voice or on my face. Anita searched, trying to find
some. She was still soft in so many ways. “Let’s
just say I’m not the only former hunter out there on
crutches. Actually, come to think of it, I am. The
other is in the hospital.” I didn’t say who I’d taken
out. Lawrence Strepp. He didn’t like girls. Thought
we were too soft for vampire hunting.
“You say former like they revoked your license.”
Anita meant it to be a question.
“Yeah, said I was too injured to do the job. I can
reapply as soon as I can walk without crutches and
hold a gun. They have the silly idea that I’ll last
that long.” Actually, they hoped that I’d stay
injured forever and they’d never get to take me down.
Pathetic bastards. It’s a good thing I’m a tough
girl, and they’re just government. “What are you
doing in Santa Fe?” Anita asked. That’s right, St.
Louis girl never talked about private lives with us
vampire hunters. She did with some, I know, but not
me. I was like the black widow. You watch, but don’t
touch. You can even admire, if you’re smart enough,
but knowing anything real about us? It’s just not
done.
“Anita…” I started, wondering if I should tell her,
but pausing because of the look of pity in her eyes.
“What?” She asked, ever the ditz.
“I live here.” I said it simply, like she should have
known that, but the shock on her face was evident.
Yeah, I’d lived in Santa Fe for my entire life and she
had no clue. Crazy girl. But she wasn’t the only one
who didn’t know about me. None of the others knew
either, before Strepp.
“You do?” She asked, glancing back to the line. It
was then that I saw a familiar form. His name was
Ted, but he said he was Death once. It was a joke,
and now here he was in a coffee shop, with the
Executioner, and Fate. Things were bound to be
interesting.
“Well…” I started, wishing my coffee was done.
“How long?” She asked, desperately. She was trying
to figure something out in her head. Maybe she’d seen
someone dangerous.
“Four years, or there about in the house I’m in.
I’ve been around abouts here all my life.” Around
abouts here. Just the sort of saying they expect from
backwards Alicia. Alicia’s me, sort of.
“Just like Death.” Anita said, meaning Edward.
“Death’s in town?” I lowered her eyes and turned to
go to the door as Ted emerged from the line. I didn’t
want to be killed by Death while I was weak.
“Alicia.” He said, his Ted persona intact.
“Theodore!” I flung her arms around Teddy, taking on
a personality all my own. Anita cringed. Teddy was
acting like a human, and so was I. It was more
frightening than monsters, I think. Too bad I didn’t
know Teddy was Death at the time.
“I didn’t know you were back in town! You still
shacking up with Donna?” Probably a dangerous topic,
because the woman’s got kids, but I liked it well
enough.
“She and I are engaged.” Theodore sounded unsure of
himself, and very un-Ted like. Too bad for him,
because if he’s gonna marry the old broad, he’d better
do it before I find him someone better. Like Anita.
“Andre…”
“This is my friend Anita, Anita, this is Theodore.
And you both know me, Alicia, I’m sure. Unless one of
you forgot me?” Yeah, I can be subtle. Now wasn’t
one of those times.
“What is wrong with you two?” Anita asked, her eyes
narrowing. Maybe she expected us to be like we should
have been, but we were both actors.
“Teddy, you don’t mind if I go talk to Anita for a
moment, do you?” I asked, smiling brilliantly.
“No, we are not talking in private. You’d think
Andrea and Edward were good enough names for you two
without making up more. Death, meet Fate. Fate, this
is Death.”
I felt betrayed. The one person in my life who was
always a smiling face and ready hug was Death. He
looked every bit as betrayed as I was.
“You’re…” I started, lowering my head.
“And you.” He said, eyes cold.
“Ally, coffee.” They called. I stepped away from
death, hobbling on crutches, and left the shop in
silence. Anita looked back and forth between us. And
here I was thinking about setting the two of them up.
Stupid Anita. Ruined my act, took away my first
friend, ruined everything. Too bad she didn’t ruin
Donna and Edward’s relationship. Stupid Donna…
I wondered if Anita had enjoyed
watching me retreat
like a wounded dog, but only to the point that I
realized that was what I’d done. She’d gotten the
better of me. Nobody was supposed to get the better
of Fate. That meant one thing. I’d have to find a
quick and easy form of vengeance for both of them. Or
a slow and painful one. Slow and painful had
potential as well. Sly and crafty was even more fun.
But first, I had to learn more about my potential
victims. That meant calling in a favor, maybe more.
Anita Blake, St. Louis, animators… Animators Inc!
Three thousand dollar suits and hidden talents.
I called in an old favor for this little piece of
revenge, calling a man I’d once met named Bert
“Animators. Inc.” The male secretary said, his
greeting when I tried to call Bert.
“Lemme talk to Bert.” I said, “It’s important, about a
million dollars worth of important.” The thing Bert
owed me. One million dollars. But I let it slide,
and he gave me any information he could whenever I
asked for it. He was cheep, just one million dollars.
Most people owed me money, blood. What can I say,
I’m popular.
“Hello?” A gruff voice asked, familiar even after
almost a year of no contact.
“Your destiny has been unsealed, and here’s the catch.
Maybe we can cash in a favor?”
“Fate.” He whispered, voice going a little higher.
“What do you want?”
“Information on the Executioner. And no, I don’t want
her dead. My revenge will be much sweeter, like
making her fall in love with a man she doesn’t want to
love.”
“Would it get her away from her current men?” Bert
asked, aware of Anita’s men, and how it was
interfering with Anita’s work.
“Sure thing.” I said, sweet as a lemon, and twice as
sadistic. “It’ll take her spare time up, get rid of
the monsters, and make her reevaluate her life.”
“So long as she doesn’t leave Animators Inc.” He said,
and I nodded at the phone. We had an agreement, then.
The next day I got my coffee without running in to
Anita. She must have found another coffee shop. I
enjoyed my white raspberry mocha, to some degree, but
part of my mind was still going over revenge. I’d
gotten Edward’s address from Bert, I’d gotten Anita’s
hotel, I was ready to reign down mass destruction on
their heads were they but to look at me the wrong way.
But they’d enjoy that. I’m not known for giving
people what they want. There was one thing that
neither of them, perhaps nobody, could stand. The one
being capable of driving them both to insanity
happened to be Donna Parnell. Donna wasn’t a horrible
woman, she was something worse. She was nice to me.
Teddy and I were once caught by Donna playing with
guns. We were both having such fun taking aim and
cleaning and talking about bullets that when she
walked up, Teddy actually glared up at her. He’d
looked, for a minute, cold, distant, and very unlike
the Teddy I was used to dealing with. I pretended to
have an uncle who made bullets. It explained my
infatuation.
That glare was all I needed to realize she was his
Achilles heel. She could help or hurt, tear down or
hold up. I’d use her to tear him down, and take Anita
into the sink with him. Remind me of my mortality, my
injuries. Betray me, and poor Anita, by being his
friend, you’ve cursed yourself. Fate will find a way
to hurt you, yes, yes we will.
I called up Donna a few hours later, wondering if
she’d remember her dear Teddy’s dear friend. I
imagined her thinking, and the image that came to her
mind wasn’t flattering. I was dressed like a
teenager, grinning, and I was hanging on Ted’s arm
like an infatuated kid. I was holding a teddy bear,
named Teddy. My then blue hair was in strange loops,
and it had been incredibly long back then.
“Hi, may I speak to Donna?” I asked, cringing because
even dialing the phone sapped away what little
strength I’d managed to cling to as the day
progressed.
“Alice?” She asked, and I let myself relax into my
overstuffed black leather chair. The pain was lancing
up my legs, back, arm, hands. I could feel it, a
throbbing within my skin. Talking to Donna wasn’t
going to be fun, but I’m a tough girl.
“Yeah, hi!” I said, sounding so chipper that I made
myself sick at the thought of meaning it.
“How are you?” She asked, horrified.
“I’m wonderful.” I said, “I was just thinking about my
dear sweet Teddy, and I thought perhaps we should have
a little lunch some time, you and me, without my
darling.” I giggled slightly, like Teddy and I were
involved.
“You want to have lunch with me?” She sounded
shocked, horrified, I loved it.
“Of course, darling, you’re going to make my Teddy a
happy man, you owe me, don’t you?” She owed me a lot.
I lent her rent money, not that Ted knew she wasn’t
capable of supporting herself. I lend her rent, I
don’t tell Ted, and she humors me. That’s the deal.