Listening to: "...So 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine..."

Reading:
Mood: content

I think that I am more content now. Less worried... calm. Certain things still plague me but I'm fine. I still have no one to really hang out with but that's cool.
I'm content with going online and talking to Melissa, Michelle, Frances, Kenney, and Judy.
I'm content with waiting for my bear to get online so I can just "talk" to him.
I swear to you he and I will move to LA someday... someday. He thinks I will get there first, but I'm hoping he will come up at the same time. How will I get there? No idea yet. It all deals with transfering. I can't wait, I'm more of an LA girl anyway... so people tell me.
I already have my roomate, and she's dead serious about me moving in with her. I've got my LA friends and they have better internships for me there. Although its best for me to move to New York, but I don't really want to go there. Maybe just to visit, but California is for me.
There are plenty of Cali magazines for me to work for, like Nylon. And plenty magazines have Cali branches anyway.
Bah, I got off tangent! Hee hee!
Gah! I cannot wait for The Boy to come home! How did he survive without me when I went to PI? Oh yeah... we were kinda fighting at the time LOL! My aunt is all, "This is revenge! You left him last Christmas, and now he has left you!" Hee hee, way to go bear! Put me through all this pain of missing you! Hee hee, j/k! I love you, and you deserve this brake to Germany.
Anyway... I got this cute top from Denim Club. Its made by Super Lucky Cat... they make clothes out of recycled clothes. Hot damn it was pretty expensive. I could've done it on my own, but c'mon. Like I'm going to take time away from my computer to make it? Hee hee.
Here's what it looks like:

Mine is cream colored... I can't describe the rest... you'd have to see it.
That's the last Super Lucky Cat item I will buy.... actually I think I'll buy a skirt but that's it. The rest I can make on my own.
Although I do want this:

Because I'm from SD... I saw a skirt like this one (but with an elephant and it was black) but now ish gone... oh well.
Cute stuff that Denim Club has they do.
Bah, I should get going. Not only do my arms hurt, but my leg does too. Heh, I say I should get going... but really I'm still on AIM waiting for bear and chatting w/Meli. Layers all!

12.30.03 12:13pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...I feel you. Yes I can. What about that don't you understand?..."

Reading:
Mood: irritated

You people irritate me so much! So let me clarify some things for you... let me show you how I am viewing things and how my realtionships are. All you people so damn concerned about who's in my life and who's not. So here, a bit of explanation for those of you with questions:

Me and Vee: Yes for the past year our relationship has been retarded. For a full year we have spent our time, avoiding each other but at the same time wondering how the other is doing. Yes, even words such as hate and dislike were involved... but if you really think about it, can you really throw away a friendship that had started since 2nd grade and lasted until that lame first semester of college? Can you?
It maybe confusing to you that we just all of a sudden started to be friends again, but here's the thing. Did we say we were going to upstraight start being best friends again? Did we say we're going to call each other up everynight, and hang out during the weekends like we used to do? No, all we are doing is trying. Trying to rebuild again. Why? Because you can't hate a person forever, you just can't. You can be irritated with the things they do, or the person they are for the moment, but you can't say that you will hate them forever.
See, Vee and I have come to realize that no one knows us better than each other. Its weird but its true. We may not know what's going on each other's life currently, but still we have some weird vibe telling us that the other one is not alright... its the freaky twin thing minus the twin (hah, my twin is Jon... hah, how's that for off tangent? LOL).
Like I said, nothing is a dramatic change. Its a slow process like everything else. Don't like it, deal with it.

Me and Gerino: Why does our relationship concern you so much? We are two people in love, that's all one really needs to know. So we don't have a tittle.... yeah this hurts me, but at least I know he's there for me. At least I know that he loves me. I know for a fact that he isn't using me, so for anyone thinking that, GET THAT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!
Anyway, is it any of your business what we do? Is it any of your business of how we feel? All we ask of you is to just be our friends, and let us handle our own situation.
If you think that the 2 of us aren't meant to be, then we'll figure it out on our own. Who made you God all of a sudden, deciding who is best for him and who is best for me?
We feel that right now, we are good for each other. We are each other's best friend (even though Gerino has some silly notion that he can only have one best friend). We're there for each other, because for the most part everyone else really isn't (not to say they aren't there, but you know what I mean, everyone else just seems to be there for the "important stuff").
Like I said, he and I love each other. Deal with it.

Look everyone, this is my life, this is the way I choose to live it. If you were really my friend, you would just let me live it the way I want to. Let me make my own mistakes, let me figure out which relationships to keep and toss away. If you were really my friend, you would trust my judgement

12.29.03 10:13pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Be, be the one I need. Be the one I trust most, don't stop inspiring me..."

Reading:
Mood: contemplative
I think........

Armageddon has hit before the the 31st and the clock struck 12.

Nothing will ever be the same. Yes, I know this.

But thank God for the dear friends I love the most. Thank God for them.

Thank God for people like Johnny Dark0, even though drunk as hell, he hugs me, says he loves me, and says he doesn't want to make out with me. He says what would life be like without me? Does he remember this? Probably a little, mostly not. But at least he respected me as a person when drunk off his rocker. Thank God for him, because he let me cry on his shoulder... soo soo MANY damn times... I owe him a new shirt.

Thank God for people like Coo Coo Cachoo/Judre 3000! Yes thank God for her! She will always be there to listen, and provide a twisted since of humor! Yes I like the way she moves! Hahaha! She is ICE COLD! I will be forever happy that she is in my life, because there is no other like Coo Coo! If this were a Friendster testimonial (psh, like she'd ever join Friendster!) I'd say she's smarter than the average bear...or Gollum (for the sake of all that is LOTR)!

Thank God for people like Kenney. Even though he doesn't want to hear all the negative bullshit his friends go through, he will be there for you... not to preach, not to give advice, but to listen. To listen, and tell you things will be better some how. Thank God he's there, the one who brings on the sense of humor... and gets off tangent... but its ok cause I go off tangent too.

Thank God for people like Heather, who just genuinely(sp) cares for you. She will be there with a hug a smile, and good times.

Thank God for people like Melissa and Michelle and all my other Rooney board friends. They just make life fun, and we have so much in common. They understand, and don't judge you. We have inside jokes, and come to each other with our problems. Its just too bad we all can't just live in a Rooney community.

Thank God for people like me and Vee. Even though our friendship has been broken, we are willing to fix it. Things take time, of course, but at least we are trying.

Lastly, I thank God for my bear... The Boy. He is always there for me, even though a lot of the times he doesn't know how to be. At least he still cares enough, at least he tries. We have fun together, and have the greatest deep conversations, that I can't have with a lot of people. He may feel that I am smarter than he is, but he is just as smart as I. We are at the same wave length, he understands. He's my bear, what more can I say?

*sigh* 2004... its coming.... its coming fast. All I can do is hope and pray that the next year will be better than this one. Lord knows how crappy this year has been for all of us... espcially those in my circle of friends....

Will this circle of friends last? Will it still exist in 2004? Will tensions be lost, and will we all forgive?

I'll try, I'll try, but everyone has to be willing to try too. Hope isn't always lost.

12.29.03 1:36am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...You can call me a beauty, you can call me a beast. But it's nobody's business what I do or please..."

Reading:
Mood: cold
Bah, my arm hurts like a fucking bitch. Guess what that means folks? Rain. Yeah, my arm can predict the rain. I just checked the weather to make sure I wasn't trippen, and sure enough, rain will be coming with the next few days.
My stomach is gurgly, what the fuck? What's wrong with me?
Things have been weird and stupid. Even stupider since the familia from Chicago is now here. Nothing against them, but I hate the stupid comments made by my cousins sometimes. I forgive the 12 year old though, he's got more learning to do. Some of the things he said though... he should have been slapped for it. How does a girl like me end up having racist white cousins?
Anyway, thank god for Kenney. I lover that guy. Good friend, good friend. He's been there to talk to, even though I feel like I am burdening him. Hah! I always feel like I'm burdening him. But its ok, we eventually get off tangent... hah! Off tangent! LOL, he's just fun to talk to. Anyway....
Vee, if you are reading this, we should hang out. I'm bored! Hahaha! You know my cousins. You've met them. They really don't want anything to do with me. Heh, and Sherman's a punk rocker now! Hah! How bout that? Not po-punk (he says Good Charlotte sucks... yays for him on that one) but Ramones punk. Its weird... he's 12 and listening to The Ramones and Sex Pistols. Well, at least its good music... and not "Who Let the Dogs Out?" like last time!
Dammit, its so freaking cold, and my arm hurts like a bitch. I'll probably take some Tylenol. Am I addicted to that stuff or what? Stupid rain, making my arm hurt....
*sigh* I'm all out of whack. I be going to bed soon. And Spencer needs to use the computer... damn him and his computer needs. Who out of his friends would be awake right now? Its fucking almost 4 in the morn where he's from. Whatever.
Till next time...

12.27.03 5:39pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...that's how us gangsta's roll..."

Reading:
Mood: uncomfortable
Yesterday was Jon's PJ soiree. I don't know what to make of it. It was fun... then after awhile things got uncomfortable...
Tensions were on high, drunkeness was on high, and of course the lebian/bi-sexual "love-making" was present.
No names shall be mentioned... of course not.
I had a pretty long (not too long) emotional conversation with a former friend. This person was drunk, but that person was telling me that it was all true, all from the heart. This person said they would remember the conversation we had, and that they wanted to fix what we once had. We both said sorry, but let's see how things go. I don't know how they will go right now because this person should be sober right now. Let's just say this person kept hugging me and saying that we needed each other because of the craptaculous year that we have both had.
Another situation that was highly uncomfortable was a certain person trying to convince me to change my mind about... things. This person was drunk as well, but you know drunk people. They like to spill the beans on their emotions. Once alcohol hits the system, they all of a sudden feel braver and start saying things that they normally won't say, or do things they normally won't do... but you know darn well that they want to.
Anyway, it was just uncomfortable because I repect this person's opinion and all, but there were certain things that this person was doing and saying that just made me feel uneasy. I'm not going to stop talking to this person, or stop being this person's friend, but I wish this person would have at least been sober when saying the things they were saying. I wish that this person wasn't so affectionate when drunk.
Name I will mention: Jon. Some people had the fear that this boy had the hots for me at one point, and possibly still does. Some people feared me being with him drunk because he may do something to me. Nay, all he did was hug me, say that I am his best friend, and what would the world be like without me. He was yelling that he wanted to make out with a girl (but all the girls were making out with each other), and then he turned to me and said, "I can't make out with you, you're my best friend". He also introduced me to people as Gerino's girlfriend. How's that for not taking advantage of me? And let me tell you, he was pretty damn messed up (drinking wise)! It was barely nine o'clock. That night, he and a certain girl kept making sure I was alright. Made sure I was having fun, made sure I had tylenol from my mall madness headache (although, that itty bitty amount of Smirnoff that I had just 5 minutes after I took the Tylenol did not help... thank god I didn't pass out and I was just a little hyper). They made sure I was taken care of and not cold... and didn't step in the spit.
Anyway, things got uneasy again when someone lost their phone. That got everyone uneasy. We spent hours looking for the damn thing. Of course between some of the times we were looking for it, random craziness happened. I think that was one of the more worse things that happened. The worrying, the anger, the drunkeness. I think everything may have been fine if that phone hadn't gone missing (aside from the emotional talk and the affectionate friend).
I think everyone had fun though, and that's good. Or mostly everyone had fun, if they weren't puking in the backyard or bathroom.
A lot of the night was spent talking to Tuan, Shawn's friend (or is it Sean?). He was the only one sober... ok he had maybe a bit to drink, but it wasn't like he was drunk off his ass. I'm glad he was there to talk to. I kind of got to escape all the craziness. At one point I did want to go home (because tension was really high), but I couldn't because someone double parked behind my car. So yes, he was there for me to talk to. It was cool, I got to blab and not care. I could relax because it was not like I was trying to impress him, and he was trying to impress me (c'mon now, I've got the boy and he's got a girl). *sigh* but he did bring up the talk he had overheard... the one with the affectionate friend. That got me a bit uneasy again, but he said it was ok... he just wanted to know my take on it...
I came home, feeling weird. I didn't know what to make of that soiree. I had fun, had some good laughs.... but at the same time I didn't like it. I didn't like the uneasiness that I felt. I didn't want to think about anything serious that night, and yet I was forced to by drunken people....
I wish Bear was here. I need to talk to him. I love him. Plain and simple. I hope that he loves me back. Apparently he does since his mom left me a message saying that he does...
Bah... I after that soiree, I realized a lot of things.... and I ended up with a lot of questions still.... I need to talk to him... I wish he were around right now.... I wish there was some way....
I better go now... eating time.

12.25.03 10:04pm__capitan's log
Listening to: KUSI's Songs of the Holiday's

Reading: nothing
Mood: satisfied

Santa Baby
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be oh so good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo

Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's
Not a lot
I've been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean a phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight

Today's entry for Sunbathing in Darkness: Well, I woke up early. Opened presents, went to church. Saw Alvic, said Merry Christmas, and gave him presents, that was nice :). I asked Jon if he wanted to visit Steven with me, but he said no, and I went by myself. Now I am here. And now my fave Christmas carol:

12.24.03 10:04pm__capitan's log
Listening to: nothing

Reading: nothing
Mood: blank
Another one of my many posts of the day.
I wonder if my dad feels sorry for me... I wonder if he knows whats up. Probably because he suggested that we go rent movies. I got Bend it Like Beckham, he got Chicago (which I will be watching on my own later because it has those sex stuff in it). Beckham was a good funny movie, even my older brother watched it with me.
Jon and JR came over to finally pick up Airiane's bag. It was all stinky and shit. I wonder where those guys went off to. Actually, it was JR who was at my door, Jon was waiting in the car. At least I'm pretty sure that was the case.
Beh... yep... Darren, Abe, and whoever else have their fun. Joe's got work and hang's out with whomeever when he can. Jon has got his cousins, and I guess he goes out with JR. Everyone else has family or work. Who do I got?

Reading: nothing
Mood: aggravated
Heh, lots of new updates today eh? Like the new layout? Simple... plus no music. Maybe all that fun stuff will come another day.
Look what boredom does to you. Look what happens when you have no friends. You make love to a computer.
Christmas? I'll celebrate Jesus's birth, and that's it. I'm not merry, I'm not nice. Bah humbug to all and to all a good night.

PS I have the Xmas pics up... just the ones w/me at least

12.24.03 4:13pm__capitan's log
Listening to: "...Cause with you,I can let my hair down, I can say anything crazy, I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground..."

Reading: nothing
Mood: envious
Why am I envious? I am envious of Jessica Simpson. Sure she is this complete nerd who says dumb things, but really, who isn't? She's just goofy is all. People need to give her a break.
Anyway, I am envious of her because she found her one. Martin is right. I am not the type to have dates and flings and whatnot. I just want to fall in love. I want to experience that fairytale.
Jessica Simpson has that. She has a loving husband who will put up with her BS. He loves her unconditionally.
I was watching Driven, and I was tearing (yes, I realize that I am a sap) when I heard the story of how they decided to get back together after their break up. Nick was in NYC's airport, and watched the whole 9/11 scene from a window. The first person he called was Jessica, and he said he was scared and needed someone to talk to (hell, I'd be scared too if I witnessed a terrorist attack). Jessica was immediately filled with worry. She repeated "I love you, I love you" over and over again on the phone (mind you they are broken up at this time). She told him to hurry and come right back to her. When they hung up, Jessica turned to her mom and said, "I'm going to marry this guy". And that's what they did. When Nick came back, he proposed to her. Fairy tale no?
Oh and the scenes from the wedding, so romantic. Cheesy too. Just looking into their eyes you could tell the two are so in love. This is no publicity stunt as so many people call it. Nick and Jess are the real thing. Yes, I am jealous.
I want to fall in love. I want a guy to sweep me off my feet. I see the direction my life is headed.... I don't see anything at all. I'm supposed to be optimistic (ask anyone who knew me in high school and they will tell you I was a happy go lucky kid), and instead I am pessimestic. I don't see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. All I see is darkness. I want the light. I want someone to love me unconditionally. I want to be with somebody. I don't want to look for anyone anymore (although flirting is fun too). I want to be happy.
Love = Happiness *sigh* when will I find that?

Listening to: a commercial for Now That's What I Call Christmas

Reading: nothing
Mood: numb
Hello. Daily update... what I did today: I woke up... and went straight to the computer. I'm now eating lunch alone cause everyone thought I was asleep. I was not. I was merely sleep walking. I got up at 9am with a headache. I wrapped presents. I did take a short nap again... but one could have easily shook me and I would have been awake. As I am typing this right now, I am sleep typing. Life has become so dull, in the span of a few short days... I already don't care. I just don't care.

12.24.03 12:35am__capitan's log

Listening to: nothing

Reading: nothing
Mood: depressed
*sigh* whatever, fuck it....
I'll just settle for crying at night and sleep walking through the day
Lighter note: Happy Birthday Robert, you can now drink alcohol

12.23.03 11:41pm__capitan's log

Listening to: nothing

Reading: nothing
Mood: pissed out the wazoo
Fuck, can this break get any more boring? I am so bored. I hate everything. It doesn't even feel like Christmas. Everyone is so damn chipper on the TV, or I read bloggers and whatnot, and everyone seem so happy. Why aren't I happy? Why don't I have anyone to share this "joyus" occasion with? Here I am wasting my time making love to a computer. I wish this break would just hurry the fuck up. I'd rather be in school, even though I hate it with a passion.
At least I'd have interaction with the outside world and people. Dammit, at least I could pretend that I have friends. No, instead I am here in this miserable household, bored and lonely. I suppose this is my cry for attention.... but I wouldn't even consider it that because no one is probably reading this.
Bah the fuck humbug!

12.22.03 11:30pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...I've got it all, but I feel so deprived..."

Reading:
Mood: sad
I miss my Bear :( I want him to call me or AIM me. Bah!

12.22.03 10:35am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins and Oi to the world and everybody wins!..."

Reading:
Mood: exanimate
I don't know how to feel right now... I was woken to the sound of the phone ringing and my little brother yelling it was for me. I was hoping it was The Boy, because he sadly didn't call me before he left for Germany, but it wasn't him.
It was Jon, checking up to see how I was doing. I guess he's going to do that often since I'm alone now. He did it yesterday morning, when I was all sad and had just finished tearing. Heh, I was watching my No Doubt Videos DVD at the same time.
So 2 nights ago we had the Christmas party at my house. That was great fun. I was a bit in trouble for having everyone at the house so late (freaking, you people were there till almost 4 in the morn). But it was fun anyway. Got lots of neat presents too. Its so much fun to see your friends jumping for joy at the sight of the present you gave them. Or the look of shock when someone thought no one was going to get them anything, and you did get them something.
Anyway, yeah. That indeed was a fun night. I'm looking forward to more fun nights, hopefully.
Ok, so here's some Livejournal entries for you, and for those of you who don't know, Livejournal is now free to everybody, so you can go ahead and sign up and add me as a friend. On to the entry:

2003-12-21 16:43:00; *sigh* First Day of 3 Weeks
Sadness...
Said good bye in such a hurry, he said he'd call right before he left... and he didn't
Woke up this morning to the realization that he had left...
I didn't get to say see you later or anything...
Saddness.... I told myself not to cry, it would only make my sickness worse, when I'm already getting better
So now I'm back to square one with being sick again, and I ran out of tissues...

3 weeks.... its only 3 weeks

I'm bored.... I'm sad.... I've got a headcold

Somebody needs to pick up Airiane's baby bag from my house.

Listening to new Blink 182, thank god its actually good. Most people were disappointed its not what they were used to, that "All the Small Things" shit. I'm not disappointed, because their music wasn't always that stupid pop punk top 40 radio shit.

At yesterday's party I got a lot of cool new goodies. And yes, I finally got my No Doubt Boom Box set. Yays for that :)

Saddness.... Blink 182 is actually making me more depressed.... some lady is reading a letter she wrote, a loved one, war. Saddness. Blink 182 is effected by this war....

Rawr.... 3 more weeks

12.18.03 10:18am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Fate fell short this time, your smile fades in the summer..."

Reading:
Mood: working
Well its been a long time no update huh? Well, you know how it is with finals and all. Thank god its over. I have other things to worry about, things that matter to me... not school.
What do I have to worry about, you ask? First of all, I have to worry about getting better. My stupid older brother gave me the flu. How loverly right? So I have to focus on not dying... I'm telling you I am as pale as white lined paper... without the blue lines. No more dark Eyeball... hahaha!
The other thing I have to worry about and concentrate on is this stupid Christmas party. Ok, not stupid, but still... frustrating... especially when you are sick.
Lastly, I must worry over my website that I share with Michelle. Not so much worry, but concentrate on. She and I just got a new domain (because Geocities was costing too much.... yes Geocities gives out domains) and we are working hard to rebuild everything. I'm a little frustrated because the new domain we are working with has a lot of complicated buttons... I'll get the hang of it though. I'm also frustrated because there are a lot of things that I want to remain on the site, but Michelle hasn't uploaded them. Where are they I ask of you?
Anyway... I am ecstatic about the new channels Cox Standard and Cox Digital has provided us with. On Cox Standard, we now have MTV2. On digital we have Noggin, Nicktoons, NickGas, VH1 Classic, VH1 Country, VH1 Soul, VH1 Mega Hits, MTV Soul, and MTV Hits. Lots of new channels to watch music videos on :) Oooo and yays! I get to watch Daria again!
Well, I better go take some meds now. Later all!

11.29.03 10:18am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...friday nite's so damn lonely, change yer plans a damn for me ..."

Reading:
Mood: loved...why do I feel loved? Haha, read the Blurty entry
Well hello my dearies! First things first! Site updates!:

I've updated the Event Pics section. All new Rooney Pics and Ben Lee Pics. Plus I changed the Rooney Pics 2 for better viewing!
All new section called My Videos. You can find it under She's Crafty. It contains videos I have made with my digi cam. CAUTION they are best viewed with DSL/Cable and is Real Time Media.

Onto this entry now!
Well, things are a bit weird. I dunno how to explain. I'm too lazy to type it all up, so I'll copy paste some of the entries I've made on Blurty and Livejournal. So sorry for those of you who do not have access to Blurty and Livejournal. Here's your chance to take a peek in what I write in there. Some entries are a little long, so feel free to skip over any.

Blurty

2003-12-05 08:08:00; yadda yadda yadda

Saw Rooney again on Wednesday, not as great as Phantom Planet concert last week, but just as fun.
At first I was pretty much at the front, but once Rooney came on I was in the back (while my jacket remained at the front)....
Why? A friend...I suppose you can say friend...or aquantance...I dunno....fainted right when Rooney came on, because the place was small and she needed air. Eventually she got air and water and felt better and soon we were back in the lil stage area....and standing in the back.
Its alright, still had fun, had my eye contacts w/Matt and Robert. Probably because I was one of the only idiots rockin out in the back...where everyone was dead....plus I was standing next to The Sounds band manager...how could you miss him? How could you miss him and the tiny asian girl rockin out next to him in the lil spot light thingy? Hahaha.
Robert looked over at me and told me to go whoo (although I couldn't hear him he was just mouthing it and nodding his head)...took me a while to realize he was looking at me...so when I finally went "Whoo!" he smiled and continued performing.
Anyway, fun show....didn't get to meet them after because I think they left right after. Possibly because they had a show in San Francisco last night...and that's a long ways away from SD.
I did however, meet some of Melee. Had a small lil convo w/one of the band members...and I don't remember who he was hahahahaha!
Also met Melee's band manager. He loves me! LOL! Because I'm his groupie but not! Hahahaha! Where's my free CD dammit? Hahaha! Yeah, I suppose you can say I flirted with him...I suppose. I just call it being stupid. Hee hee. But he lovers me and gave me a hug because he lovers me hahahaha!

2003-11-26 13:51:00; Wooo!!!

I had the best night of my life! Last night I went to see see Phantom Planet, BEST CONCERT EXPERIENCE EVER! I'll try to make this short because...well...I'm just so excited!
* Since we bought tickets that same night, we got to go in before all of the other people who were first in line with tickets
* My friends and I got up to about second row...sorta first row if I wanted to push the girls in the front, but I'm not mean like that
*Once 8 o'clock hit, some band from LA came on. They were all right. I think they were called the Red West?....their bassiest was kinda cute :)
*Ben Lee came on....my god he has the cutest drummer/keyboardist named Laura! Awww she was so cute...with her little petite body and cute winter sweater and cute little cowgirl boots....awww, I'll post pics when I get the chance. Awww and she had this little drum kit too!
*Ben Lee was cool, his beat box broke...but it was still cool cause Ben Lee, although frustrated, went to Laura's drums (they were only using the beat box at the time because Laura was using the keyboards) and sang and played at the same time. Even cooler. Sam from Phantom Planet went and played the drums for the next song. All of this wasn't planned! Sam was great and he stopped right when he was supposed to (as the soon as the song ended, the band members and Ben all turned quickly to Sam and waved their arms as signal to stop...Sam was right on time so it was almost as if they hadn't need to do that).
*BTW Ben Lee looked like he came from the Shire (Lord of the Rings....its the Hobbits village). And of course he was cracking jokes about P. Diddy and stuff...using his cute accent. Oh yes, and Ben kept climbing over the barricade getting all up in our faces, so cool.
*Ben Lee sang Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" hahahahahaha, that was great!
*Phantom Planet soon came on, they played Big Brat first, kick ass song. Its from their new album coming out in January. Y'all should check out the music video at mtv.com. It was cool cause Alex was all about stepping over the barricade and getting in our faces. Great stuff!
*Alex of course crowd surfs during the concerts, and seen I was smack in the middle, second row, he jumps on top of me....very cool! Thank god other people were holding him up, otherwise I would have been crushed trying to hold him up myself!
*The last time he crowds surfs, we bring him back over the barricade and he falls on his head, poor thing...but he continues on with the song, right on the floor! Yays for Alex!
*Towards the end of the night, Alex says why don't the whole 2 first rows get up on stage? We were all Hell Yeah! And we all climbed over the barricade and got up onstage and sang California (yes all you the OC fans, that's the theme song to the OC...and that song came out way before the OC came out BTW). At first I was next to Alex, and then my friend Jon pulled me over to towards where he was, which is right next to Sam and we got to sing into his mike while he took pictures and of course played his bass.
*Right when California was done, they were going to do their last song...but of course security made us go offstage, but it was cool cause we asked the band if it was alright if we could just sit on the lil seat thingies in front of the barricades, and they said it was cool (I feel bad for the other kids who didn't realize that they could do that).
*While down in front of the barricade, I noticed this girl grab the set list in front of Alex...I then asked her if she could get me the set list in front of Sam, since she was closest to Sam...dunno why she didnt get his...I was closer to Alex then she was).
*When the show was all over, we were shooed away from the barricades...and as we were leaving, the roadies all gave us guitar picks and stuff...very cool...I also left with the red west's set list....which was written on one of the band member's auto service receipt. Hahahahaha!
*Saw Ben Lee by the merch table and I had a bit of a chat with him and got him to sign my Ben Lee poster from I got from the wall
*Ok, long story short, my friends and I all bought PP posters, had the band signed them (we had to give our posters to Susanne in order for Darren and Alex to sign them because they were already on the bus, poor Darren was sick) and we took pics with Jeff, Jacques, and Sam.
Whew! Done!
Screw the LA Rooney show, missing them for Phantom Planet was so worth it! ...besides Rooney is coming back here next week anyway! Hee hee! 18+ woo hooooo!

Livejournal

2003-12-06 09:51:00; What a World

*sigh* someone ignorantly left their soda on the computer desk......so the march of the ants return. As I type this, ants are crawling over a few of the keys. I'm guessing my little brother left the soda there, because I do not drink Sunkist Orange Soda.....unless I have to.
Anyway, I swear...my parents are idiots. So I was coughing yesterday morning, big deal. That was all. So I wake up this morning and they say that I am sick. I wasn't coughing last night. I would have remembered. I don't know what they are talking about. I do however, know that my older brother, who sleeps in the room next to mine, is sick. He coughs every night...its a horrible cough. Could it be possible that they are hearing his coughs, and mistaking it for mine? Ignorant parents.
I swear I need to get the hell out of this place. I love San Diego, but just for a little bit. Parents, friends....ugh! Some kids have it good, they get along with their parents and have the option of freedom. Me, I'm treated like I'm 13. What fun oh goody!
I'm forced to lie and say I'm going to a school concert (which I do, do....I have my last one next week....this is for Music 151), when really I'm out seeing Phantom Planet or Rooney or yes, Hanson.
I'm forced to lie and say I'm at study group when really I'm out eating with friends.
I'm forced to lie and say that I'm at school till 5, when really I usually end around 9 or 10. I'm just hanging about with friends or running errands. Look at that, I can't even run errands!
Damn it.....I suppose I'm lucky though. Nice house, nice computer, nice big high defenition tv, nice Bose stereo system/dvd player...and that's just for the whole family. Then there's me, nice pink and purple bedroom with my own tv with VCR and DVD player, nice stereo with subwoofer (that is collecting dust because I hardly use it now since I'm mostly 'out'), nice mirrored closet, nice blue 98 Acura Integra (which I have already banged and dinghed up a few times), and then I have acess to drive my brother's nice Nissan 240(which he smashed up to, but its still nice), the black Ford Pickup which I forgot the name of...but is new, my mom's Celica (personally I don't like it, I think its hideous), and the nice white luxary of a thing Tahoe (its an SUV that sort of looks like an Explorer...however I think this one is better because Exploreres make me sick). blah blah blah.
I was never a materialistic person. So although all these things are nice, there's something I want more. I want to be happy, I want to be treated fairly. I'm just going to be this oppressed lil asian girl for the rest of my life because somehow I am always going to find something to depress me.
Something's gotta change. I need to get the hell away from everything. Blah!

2003-12-04 09:44:00; la dee dah saw rooney last night, fun but crowd could have been better....friend passed out....she's ok now........rooney was MIA at the end of the show......sadness...but oh well, i'll find another day to say hello to them, they love me, tis why they are always in SD hahahaha.........oh and manager of Melee "loves" me hahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahaha

2003-11-30 20:50:00; The Story of my Life

More and more with each passing day, I realize how much I own this song.......sad really.

Lonely Day

I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes and try to tell myself I can't go back to bed
It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
Everybody knows that something's wrong
But nobody knows what's going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It's shaping up to be a lonely day
I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely lonely
lonely lonely day.

Have no fear though, next year, its going to be all about me pleasing myself (shut up you dirty dirty minds!)...its all about doing what makes me happy!

2003-11-30 12:58:00; la dee dah

i cannot wait for the new year....i want to get this fucking year over with, hopefully start new...and if i can't...bah humbug!
i swear to you all, i am going to leave san diego (nothinh against the city, i love it here) because certain people corrupted my mind, and will not come back until i am sane once again....and that will probably be when i retire and decide to be like those old alumni from my high school....who live in clairemont and pb and la jolla....all they do is eat out, go boating, and if they still feel young, surf.
yeah....i'm going to move to new york, then transfer over to LA....and on occasion andre 3000 and big boi and coo coo ca choo and i will be living it up in SF just for the hell of it. and coo coo ca choo will get the jobs she wants because she went to the 'fagot' of a school up in SF, but its ok because she finally got out of there....yeah.....
dreams...gotta love em
PS i will have been married to the men of rooney, divorced, then married again to some hot boy with an english accent, the divorced....and most likely i'll end up with the boy because it looks that way anyway.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW MORE UPDATING TO COME LATER!

11.29.03 10:18am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...we can't hardly stand the wait, please Christmas don't be late..."

Reading: nothing at the moment
Mood: tired...its still early
I'm ever so slowly updating my pictures. I still need to get my sounds pictures up and transfer the old Rooney ones. I did get the Phantom Planet ones up (roll over Event Pics and you shall see it) but I still need to get the Ben Lee pictures up.
*sigh* the holidays are pretty much here! Holidays bring me such joy...but at the same time such depression.
Joy because I see all these happy things...and yes I still do believe in Santa and magic. I feel the holidays all around me!
Sad because I realize that I don't really have anyone to spend the holidays with. Usually I'm never around...like during Christmas I'm usually in airplane, completly skipping over Christmas because I'm entering a different time zone
Finally, I'm home for the holidays, and it depresses me because I feel I don't have anyone to share these special moments with. To everyone else, its all about the presents. And no one ever really thinks about the person when they give out gifts. They just give out saftey gifts.
What are safety gifts? Gifts that you buy in bulk and give to random people. For example: lotions, teddy bears (unless the person actually loves bears and you aren't just giving this to everybody), money, body sprays, ties, etc.
What happened to putting thought and feeling into gifts? Am I the only one who still does that?
Not only this, but it seems like no one gives a damn about me. No one even calls me up to do anything. And when I do bring this up, they usually come up with some kind of excuse.
I feel bad though, there is one person who does call me, and is just as bored as I am. Hi Kenney!
Problem is, when he does call me, its either at a time I can't go out, I'm already out, or I'm sick
I suppose this is why people don't generally call me up...but I appreciate it if they do. I hate feeling left out, I hate it! I hate when my supposed friends are all talking about some party, or club, or movie....and I wasn't there.
The excuse is always you can't stay up late or you're already out when we call...BS! I can push, on occasion, for the later curfew! You all know this! And who else would I be hanging out w/?....idiots? You guys are currently my only friends, and you don't even treat me like it! I think y'all just forget to call me.
And BTW, don't say I can always call one of you guys up if I want to do something. Because then I would feel like a tag-along...because you didn't call me in the first place....because you didn't want me there in the first place.
And besides, why do I have to be the one to call you guys up? That just makes it seems like I will always have to do that...I will always have to be the one to step up...because everyone else will forget to invite me. Geez, I must be that special if you forgot about me... or is that an excuse too? You forgot to invite me? You just really didn't want me along did you?
I'm tired of feeling this way, and I'm tired of crying everyday...feeling unwanted! I'm tried!
People wonder why I don't tell them how I feel, because no one ever listens to me. They just get defensive, or just agree with me and later forget what had just happened...and keep on treating me like crap.
So here I am, finally pouring out my feelings to the public. I suppose this is to get attention, because this has been going on for way too long. So now you know how I finally feel. And this will probably be the last time I pour out my feelings on a non-"friends only" journal......on a public site........
So now that you know that I'm some deranged, depressed, cynical, pessimistic (that one I am surprised by because I've always been optimistic...up until college began), little piece of whiney shit who complains too much and is apparently selfish....HOW DO YOU FEEL?

11.24.03 10:25pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...it's my life, don't you forget..."

Reading:
Mood: tired
Well hello people. I am tired so I'm just going to say a few things and then I'll sleep.

Not to be mean to anybody...ok maybe my purpose is to be mean...because sometimes I wonder...and have concern...
Some of you just need to open up a book...and I will leave it at that! If you don't get what I mean, you then I have just proved my point.

In other news I got my hair cut my hair. Here are 2 views of it...w/glasses and w/o.

11.22.03 11:14am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...shake it like a polaroid pict-cha..."

Reading:
Mood: still ill *sigh*
Yes, I left the Vee's party early, I had my drink to drink and my dance to dance. So nobody ask me why I left earlier, y'all should know the deal by now.
BTW, I am having my own personal birthday spectacular, again! This time with people who truly matter and care for me, and will remember that its supposed to be my day.
Ya'll know that my birthday was purely shit!
Now this plan isn't offical yet, but for anyone reading this, leave a tag on the tag board if you want to be invited. Later! PS and if anyone makes a big deal out of my drinking last night, like that time a white boy asked me to dance at that stupid windmill club 911, y'all gossip too much. Everything is bigger than it seems.

11.20.03 11:26am__capitan's log

Listening to: "...the first cut is the deepest..."

Reading:
Mood: still ill
I don't like girls too much. They are too hard to be friends with. I'm lucky to have a few cool gal friends though, who don't talk shit behind my back. Instead they're blunt and say it to my face. Not always cool, but its better than someone gossiping behind my back. My gal friends will tell me if they don't like something about me or my other weak ass friends. If they hear a rumor, they will tell me, instead of spreading it around like wildfire. I appreciate that.
Some of my guy friends, oh yes and I think my older brother as well, have all asked me how come my girl friends are all bitches. I told them that they may be bitches to you guys, but they are not to me. They are better friends than most people out there. You probably did something to offend them, which is why they are acting bitchy. If you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, why don't you bring it up with them instead of spreading nasty gossip?
Anyway, aside from my girl friends, all the other ones are just plain annoying and obnoxious. Shallow and high matinence come to mind. Hahahahha, also the word TAB comes to mind. Hahahhaha. You don't know the word? Maybe I will tell you some day...hahahahhahahahhaha!
You know, boys aren't that great either. Well the ones I am currently friends with, I am so ifie on them right now. Why? Look at all the 'friend' problems there are. Look how people want to solve it, but think in order to solve it you've got to run away from the problem. They all have a fear of problems and don't want to deal with it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and wanting to have fun, but you've gotta deal with your shit first. Otherwise its going to bite you in the ass later.
To be honest with you, I haven't had a good weekend since Steven's passing. That weekend I had a lot of fun spending time with my cousins. First came Saturday, my little cousin's b-day. Sure I spent most of my time with his older sister trying to win Lolla tickets, but that was still pretty fun...sort of tedious, but fun. We actually won tickets later that night, so that was the highlight of our day. Next day we went to Lolla...and of course that had to be fun. I even met Rooney again. Thn came Monday, and Steven was gone. After that, I can't remember a single good weekend I have had.
You know what else? I haven't truly been happy since leaving high school. I mean, I have my moments of greatness, but as for everyday life, I have not been happy.
Heh, I even remember having a conversation with Steven about this. He tried to reassure me that I do have friends....that there are people who do care about me. He told me that no one even calls him, and he has to do things on his own. He told me he had to deal with his own problems. He said that didn't bother him too much because at least he knew he didn't have to depend on anybody...
Anyway, I am going to make my shout out list to every person out there who truly makes me smile when I'm down:

El Nida, Coo Coo Ca Choo, Heather, Eric M., my lil brother Eric, Melissa, Martin, both Michelle's (rock-star-shell and musicalreality), Colleen, Sandy, my cousins (ok sometimes only hahahah), Gilbert, Jackie, and then some....

I'd say THE BOY, but even he can bring me down....I wish I wasn't so down. I wish I was happy. I wish I could say hey, my life is meaningful
You know...during those times when my thoughts switch over to suicide...thats the only time my friends come out and take notice of me. That's the only time they want to hang out with me. Don't you think that's wrong? I do...
If my existance mattered to them so much, then they would have noticed how sad I was ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY! They would have taken notice of how depressed I was. They would have seen the tears in my eyes. They would have done something to help my birthday special.....
Instead of ignoring me...instead of talking about some party that I didn't even go to.
One could say that I could have jumped into the conversation.... BULL-ASS-MUTHA-FUCKING SHIT! How can I join a conversation that I know nothing about. Oh yes, I was at that party....NOT! And one could say I could try to start up a conversation on my own.....hahahahaha! I did but guess what? NO ONE WOULD LISTEN TO ME!
I thank Heather for being there for me though. I'm glad she was there. She noticed how everyone was treating me rotten on my own fucking birthday. I didn't even have to say anything to her, she noticed it all on her own. Very perceptive she is. I love Heather :)
Well, I should quit gripping for now.
Once again I am spilling out my brain juices to public site......not supposed to do that I am. Not supposed to do that.
BTW I am still sick, so maybe that's why. I'm delirious. Hahahha!. Later all...whoever reads this...which is probably no one.

11.17.03 9:30pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Camp Anawana, we hold you in our hearts..."

Reading:
Mood: still ill
Yes dearies, I am back on. I am bored and I am sick. Yes sick. Loverly aint it not? Bah humbug!
You know, I have always know I was different from all the others...a bit ecentric...a little nerdy....but my own cool little person. But your know what? Sometimes I just want to be FUCKING HOT! There are times when I think I am, but I just come out as cute...and I'm still every bit of the word weird. Leg warmers = me. DIY Off the shoulder tops = me. Big ass jacket with a black mini with side foof = me. Yeah, you get the picture.
Yes, I shouldn't care about this blah blah blah blah. I should be happy with who I am blah blah blah. I know this, and I am content with who I am. All I am saying is that sometimes I wish I were the type of girl to stop traffic or whatnot.
Sure I've gotten hit on...most of them though were weirdo guys in PB who hit on every girl who walks down Garnet....oh and lets not forget the ones Downtown. Creepy ass guys looking for some asian exotic fun. Whatever.
*sigh* you know I'm sick when I am actually pouring a bit of feeling into this entry. As you all know, I am not one to make personal entries on public sites such as this one. Remember? LJ, LJ, LJ???
Don't worry, LJ is still my primary source for typing up all that is evil in my cranium.

11.17.03 1:24pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Do you realize?..."

Reading:
Mood: sick
Hey everybody. I will upload new pics as soon as possible I guess. I have a lot to put up. Be patient. I made a new splash page that should load quicker. And if not quicker, there is button to click called "skip intro". Fun huh?
Also, there are 2 new songs. On the splash page its "Batman!". On the main page (here) its "Cheers". I just thought it was sort of fitting and a bit humorus(sp)
Well I'm sick so I can't type much now. Maybe later when I feel better. Later.

11.13.03 11:05pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...Always up to no good..." (Big Brat is not off the guest...I just couldn't find a decent enough pic of PP)

Reading:
Mood: exausted
Hey everybody...not much to update here...so busy and tired with school work. I'll do more updating come the weekend
If you want to read actual journal entries rather than the BS crap I write here, like I said you can always get a livejournal and as me as a friend. My LJ is friends only. If you have an LJ clicky link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/yellowfishbulb.
Or if you cannot go there, you can always read my Xanga...which is a bit more offensive and is not updated too often. You can still try though. http://www.xanga.com/puffmonkey would be the URL.
Of course I have more journals for you to look at. Simply scroll over "She's Crafty" and then click "Other Weblogs and Journals".
In other news, I finally updated the pics. I have added the pictures from my prebday outing with El Nida. Check that out in Misc Pics....I'm wondering if I should move that to ivent pics or whatnot. Also, I will be adding the other bday pics this weekend. Let's see what kind of time I will have.
Well, time for me to go sleepy bye bye. Layers all!

11.10.03 08:12pm__capitan's log

Listening to:"...nothing..."

Reading:
Mood:pissed and annoyed
I wonder....I should I keep this site up? I work so hard on it...for what? I don't know too many people who actually look at the crap I keep here. Blah....
Owww.....was beaned in the head by football. Yay....more pain to the headache.....
So yes....quick poll...who actually wants this stupid site up?

PS My bday was exactly what I expected. I suppose I shall post the pictures up when I'm not lazy.....I hate uploading.

11.05.03 01:52pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...All my people on the floor let me see you dance..."

Reading:
Mood: exausted
So I went to see The Matrix Revolutions today. It was a pretty cool movie. It reminded me a lot of Star Wars because of all the robot fighting. The special effects were great and the movie didn't seem extra long like Reloaded.
Finally the week is winding down, I can breath a sigh of relief come friday. Midterms would be all done with. Unfortunatly we still have to deal with all the other crap of school.
Anyway, right now I'm online doing the online class this. *sigh* I shall be sad once this portion of music class is over because this will mean I'll have to start showing up to class again. I like having a class online, and not having to go to class. I like leaving school early, tis fun.
So have you people watched Rich Girls yet? I am finding that show utterly stupid. First of all, these girls are shallow and completly dense. I mean Jessica Simpson is an airhead, but at least she isn't consider psychics to be significant people, or think that Tommy Hilfiger invented cargos.
Second of all, why is their a show on rich girls? We already have the Olsen Twins and the Hilton Sisters (at least the Olsen Twins have been working since they were babies, and at least the Hilton Sisters have decided to start working because they were tired of being scene as party girls who spend the family's wealth). They are rich enough. What, does MTV want more people to put on air so that thousands of girls could be jealous of them? Do they want us to emulate them or something? Which brings me to my third point.
MTV advertises this show to a young audience. This show isn't meant for 24 year olds. Why would a 24 year old want to watch a 17 year run around buying things? Obviously this show is targeted for the Lizzie McGuire generation. On to my point, how can MTV advertise this show to young girls who will emulate them? Not only are this girls shallow, but they smoke. All of the kids on that show smoke casually, and their parents don't seem to mind. What message does that send to little girls? Little girls will see these "savvy" teens and try to copy them, just as they have copied Hilary Duff and Britney Spears. Next thing you know you'll see girls smoking cigs because thats what the Rich Girls do...ugh!
Ahh, I had more to say but I completly lost my train of thought. Bah, I'm trying to do my online homework, type in here, and post on Book Divas all at the same time. Should probably just only focus on my school work. I don't want to be stressed out. Ahhh! I just remembered, I have a final presentation tomorrow! Shit! This my que to get off line! Screw you guys, I'm going home! LOL.

PS The book I am reading, Gossip Girls, reminds me of the show Rich Girls (the book came out first). You guys should read it, far more intresting than the Rich Girls. If you like reality TV, watch Joe Schmoe or Average Joe. Both are extremly hilarious!

11.03.03 01:52pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...If I just breathe... Let it fill the space between. Oh no, everything is alright..."

Reading:
Mood: tired
Bah! I'm so stressed out. There is so much to do since school started up again. I've got a midterm, a final project presentation, quiz, and essay all due this week. What a bitch.
Still don't know what to do for my birthday. I'm going to try to convince my parents to let me go to Disneyland with my friends in LA. Michelle's birthday is on the 7th, right before mine. Perfect timing eh? Hee hee.
As for my SD friends, I don't know if they know my bday is approaching. I'll let them find out on their own. I've told them a numerous amount of times. I don't want to be pushy and say "Hey my bday is coming up soon". Bah to that! Plus, I want to see if anyone will remember. I want to see if anyone will greet me on the day of my birth.
Anyway, around this time of the year I get sad because I feel like my birthday isn't worth celebrating. I dunno, every year something bad happens. Don't tell me its all in my head because seriously, really terrible things have happened on my birthday. So maybe for once I'll just let whatever happen happen. Better that way.
Moving on, I worked so hard on this site....I dunno how many people have visited. I'm guessing not too many because people don't leave a tag. I don't have my counter anymore....but geocities does keep an internal one. I'll have to check that one later. BAG! Don't you hate it when you work so hard on something, it goes by unappreciated? Anyway, here enjoy my bday counter:

11.01.03 01:52pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...No lettting go No holding back Because you are my lady..."

Reading:
Mood: accomplished
Hey everybody! I finally made my new layout. Its a new month, its fall, enough with the summer theme! LOL! I feel so accomplished! Gah! Now all I have to do is figure out a way to increase my bandwidth! I think I'll be transfering all my geocities pictures to digitalpose, not quite sure yet, but its a good way to go.
If you want to view any of my old entries, just go to the section called She's Crafty, and then click archives. I've also included the last entry I wrote here before the layout change. I don't have much to say right now, tis why I posted it just below. Enjoy everybody!

PS my bday is next saturday whoooo!!!

10.28.03 06:04pm__capitan's log

Listening to: "...My office glows all night long it's a nuclear show and the stars are gone. Elevator, elevator, take me home..."

Reading:
Mood: slightly worried
Well, first things first. Please visit THE BOY'S site, for I have completed it. He is sooo proud of it. Good luck to him and his HTML-ness. I am proud of it as well, and it is making me think that maybe I should make a new layout for myself. Well...anyway, click on the screencap in order to visit his new site:

Now anyway, why am I slightly worried? Well, as you know there have been raging fires here in southern cali. Its craaazy! I'm lucky to have not been evacuated and to not be next to any of the fires. I mean, I live very close to the Otay fire, but I'm pretty sure it won't reach me...hopefully. Anyway, here are some pics from KFMB (a map of all San Diego fires and a satellite pic of all the smoke in the air from LA and SD) and 2 of my friends pics that he took. One of smoke above the houses and one of the fire-y sun.

And finally, my livejournal entry about the fire:

2003-10-27 09:30:00; The Sky is Orangish Blackish Greyness of Yuck So the fire continues on. All schools have been cancelled, the President and still governor Grey Davis (no word from Ahhh Nold yet) have declared us in a state of emergency.

My car is once again covered in ash. My poor old dog is stuck outside and he wants to come in (my dad won't let him in, he refuses to let him in). He is kicking it outside our door because thats the closest he can get. It makes me sad to think that he's just there. He knows something is wrong, but can't do anything about it. Animals know when things are wrong, and their instincts tell them to go find someplace to go. Where is my dog to go? Poor thing, he feels neglected, and I am sad that I can't do anything.

Will someone take my dog for me?

Anyway, the sky is all nasty. Here's a pic from yesterday around noonish:

And here is one from today, and its getting worse folks.

Usually you are able to see what is behind those houses (which is more houses and streets and trees and a park). Now you see nothing. Can you see the ground? Compare the 2 pics. The more recent pic shows more ash on the ground.

I should take a pic of the sun or just the ground. The ground is white with ash, the sun is fire red. It looks like Mars.

*sigh* when will this all end? When will the madness end? I want my friends to return to their homes, not be at shelters. I want my dog to frolic in clean air and to be happy. I want to get better because the stupid fire made my illness get worse.

*sigh* at least there isn't any school.