Les woke, yawned, stretched, and stood. Then he blinked a few times. This wasn't the Lodging House. Where was Jack? Les didn't care if he was in the middle of Antartica, so long as Jack was there. Mumbling, "Jack, Jack, Jack," to himself, Les wandered around the area.

He stopped in awe. He was at a dock. The ships that floated undisturbed in the harbor looked like something out of his pirate storybooks. Pirates! Les clutched his little wooden sword to his side excitedly when he spied what must be a pirate leap from the rigging to the deck on the largest of the ships. The pirate barely wavered when he hit the deck, even though one of his legs was only a wooden peg. Another pirate, this one fiercely tattooed with a red bandana wraped around his matted hair, appeared from bellow deck.

"Ahoy One-Legged Jack!" he cried heartily. "The Cap'n wants t'know if you're ready for the extra sail cloth yet!"

"Aye!" One-Legged Jack replied in a musty vioce. With a nod of his head, the second pirate disappeared. One-Legged Jack chuckled to himself and set about his remaining work.

From his hiding place behind a stack of barrels on the dock, Les blinked in amazement. "Jack..." he whispered. Without a second thought, Les unstrung the minature copy of Jack's black cowboy hat that he'd taken to wearing and flung it from him. Tightening his grip on his play sword, Les crept closer to the ship that contained his new hero.

Les was approaching the bride to the ship when another pirate brushed past him on his way up to the ship. The pirate was carrying a big box with a bundle of white sheets--extra sailcloth--inside it. Glancing around, Les spotted another box of sailcloth. He leapt into it and hid under the folded sheets. Here was his chance to become a real pirate! In seconds, Les felt the box that he was hiding in be hefted up by strong arms.

The pirate grunted in exertion. "These be heavy sheets," the pirate muttered to himself. Les bit his lip as his heart beat faster. His dream was about to be fufilled. Forget cowboys; cowboys don't have swords and ships, cannons and wooden legs. Cowboys don't swashbuckle, or attack merchant ships. Cowboys don't--

Les was jerked from his thoughts as the world was turned upside-down, and he came tumbling out of the box, entagled in sheets, onto the deck of the pirate ship. Les extracted himself from the sheets and stood, frozen. There before him stood One-Legged Jack. "Ahoy, what have we here?" the pirate asked wryly. "A boy bundle?"

Les stared up at him in utter awe. "Wow," he breathed, blinking. "Wow."

One-Legged Jack tried to get rid of Les in every way he could think of, but it was impossible. Every attempt made to kick Les off the boat, hurt, or kill him failed misreably, even the tries made to get Les to walk the plank. For Les had attached himself to Jack's leg, and he refused to let go. All the time, Les said, "Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack," in a quiet but annoying voice.

Finally, the Captain, Long-John Pete, emerged from his cabin to inspect the source of the disturbance. He walked over to Les in an uneven limp, caused by his left leg being longer than the other. Long-John Pete stopped and peered menacingly at the passenger on One-Legged Jack's leg. "Arr," he grumbled. "What have we here?"

"I don't know, Cap'n," One-Legged Jack replied uneasily, futively shaking his leg. "He came from one o'the boxes o'sheets, and we haven't been able t'get rid of him since." The captain leanded down until he was eye level with Les. The young newsie could feel the pirate captain's rancid breath on his cheek, but nothing would dissuade him from holding on to his idol.

"And what manor of creature might you be?" Long-John Pete growled to Les. Les paused in his feverently whispered chant of "Jack" to give his name.

"I'm Les."

"Les, eh?" Long-John Pete said, straightening. "Well, Les, if ye be so determined to stay aboard the Sharksbreath, I won't make ye leave." He smiled evilly, and sent an order to One-Legged Jack through a malicious glance. A crooked, wicked grin crept upon One-Legged Jack's face.

"Aye, oh, aye, Cap'n."

So Les stayed. Unbeknownst to him, he was considered the lowest of the low, even beneath the galley dogs, on the ship. Les enthusiastically set upon his tasks, including swabbing the deck three times a day with a toothbrush and cleaning out the chamber pots. While working, Les cheerfully hummed or sang the song that he had composed, consisting of only two words: "Jack" and the occasional "wow!" Often, a passing pirate's arm or leg would be seized in an uncontrollable spams, and Les got whacked in the head. Les also found himself "accidentally" falling overboard on a regular basis. But Les never minded. Joyous was his life as a pirate's slave and galley dog's chew toy.

Eventually, the pirates could not take it any more. Every attempt they made to be rid of Les, or at least break his spirit, seemed to enamor him all the more with the pirate life. One day, under the captain's orders, the entire crew of the Sharksbreath assembled on the main deck. Les hop-skipped happily amongst them, singing his "Wow Jack" song and trying to figure out what find of special pirate activity this as by asking a million questions a minute.

One-Legged Jack and the captain, soon followed by the rest of the crew, dropped to their kneeds in desperation and wrung their hands at the unresponsive sky. "Please! Take him back! Whatever sent the little rodent boy here, take him! We're sorry for being mean to him! We'll give up our lives as pirates, go ashore, and lead peaceful lives of knitting, embroidery, and cheese-making! Just please, TAKE HIM BAAAAACCCKKK!"