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A thunderous roar followed by a sickening clash of steel against steel swarmed Mush's ears, causing him to wake with a sharp gasp. Immediately, the cold hit him like a runaway carriage into a fruit stand. Mush wrapped his arms around himself, shivering violently, and took note of his surroundings. First off: it was snowing. This puzzled Mush to no end, because he thought that it was supposed to be summer. And what had happened to the bunkroom--for that matter, his bunk? All he could see was a dense forest off to the side, and a thick carpet of snow. Directly in from of him were a bunch of worn-looking wooden buildings. Coming from one of the larger buildings were the grunts and groans, clangs and wild cries of a ferocious fight.
Suddenly, there was a great crash and a burly man soared through a newly-made hole in the building's wall, sending wooden splinters flying in all directions. Mush dodged the wood bullets and watched the action scene with growing interest. Another large man stepped through the gap and confronted the first man. Both men looked quite similar: big, burly, bundled in furs (Mush pulled his shirt tighter around himself enviously), with skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair - all pale. They carried fantastic weapons with them: massive swords and crushing axes. Mush shivered again, though this time not from cold.
With a vicious bellow, the second man lunged at the first, and with deafening clangs, they went at it again. Mush continued to watch them for awhile, but eventually he couldn't stand the cold any longer. Slowly he crept towards the buildings, hoping to sneak past the impressive show of skill and strength. As Mush inched away however, the two fighters stopped hammering each other. With heaving pants, they congratulated each other.
"That was a good go, Jokull."
"Ya, ya," the other one, Hodbrodd, replied. "A great way to get the blood pumping in the morning." They laughed, then spat into their palms and shook.
'Hodbrodd and Jokull?' Mush thought to himself. 'What kinda names is those? Where am I? They's spit shook...does that they're newsies? They's too big for newsies, maybe they just used ta be.' Mush then crept up to the two friends. "Uh...excuse me?" Hodbrodd and Jokull immediately stopped what they were doing and focused on Mush. The former elbowed the latter.
"Well, Jokull, what do we have here?" Jokull strode up to Mush and inspected him.
"I do not know, Hodbrodd. He certainly looks too small for a Viking."
'Too small?' Mush thought. 'I thought I was one of the biggest newsies...and what's a Viking?' "Ise Mush, a newsie," he spat into his palm and held it out to Jokull. A wide grin spread around Jokull's beard as he did the same and clasped Mush's hand.
"Mush, a newsie, eh? I've never heard of a newsie, but you have the greeting of a fine warrior. This 'newsie'...you must be from a far-off village." Hodbrodd joined Jokull next to Mush.
"This is all well and good, but our young friend looks like he be fit to turn blue." True enough, Mush had momentarily forgotten about the cold, but as soon as Hodbrodd mentioned it, Mush was freezing.
"Oh, aye, Hoddbrodd," Jokull agreed. "Let's take Mush inside and fill him with good food and drink. Then he can assist us in our quest." Mush was curious as to what Jokull meant by "quest", but he figured any questions could wait until he was warm and had a full stomach.
The Vikings led Mush to another one of the larger buildings in the square. There they stuffed him with many strange foods and tried to pour foreign drinks down his throat. Mush wouldn't allow that, because every mug they shoved at him reeked of things he didn't even want to think about. Jokull and Hodbrodd instead melted snow for him to drink. Overstuffed, Mush sat back in his chair and dozed off. Jokull and Hodbrodd had left just a bit earlier, promising to return once "everything" was prepared. In a few moments, they did come back. Hodbrodd pulled Mush out of his chair.
"Ah, no, young Mush. Now it not the time for napping. We are about to embark upon our quest. Before Mush could say "pape", he was wrapped in furs, given a battle-ax, and thrown onto a weird-looking wooden boat with a monster's head carved at the front. Mush didn't know how long he was on that ship. It's hard to keep track of time when you're hanging your head over the side of a ship, revisiting your breakfast.
About the time Mush was sure that there wasn't anything left in his stomach, the ship came to a halt. Mush was loaded with about 4 others, including Jokull, into a little boat. "What are we doin'?" Mush whispered to Jokull.
"Attacking a neighboring village," the Viking replied, barely able to contain his excitement. "We grew tired of simple village life, so we deiced to sack the neighboring Viking village!" he ended his sentence with an anticipatory smack of a fist into his hand. Mush gulped hard as the rowboat hit shore and everyone pilled out. The Vikings did not waste any time. As soon as their feet hit soil, they whipped out their weapons and charged screaming into the rival Viking village.
It didn't take long at all for the other Vikings to respond with their own massive attack. Mush was still processing all that was going on when he spotted an enemy Viking stampeding towards him. The newsie's limbs were paralyzed with fear. As he watched the Viking rush towards him, sword waving in the air, all Mush could get to work were his vocal chords. A cry ripped from his throat. "HEEEELLLLPPP! Somebody, anybody! Please! I'll stop repeating jokes ovah and ovah again, I promise! Jack! Someone! Please, take me home!!"
Disclaimer:
If there are any Vikings that happen to read this, please don't be insulted. This is a parody and everyone is getting poked fun at. Also, I got the spit-shake idea from Rosemary Suttcliff's retelling of the Norse epic Beowolf. Two Viking characters actually spit-shook. I did a double-take when I read that. Anyhew, just thought you might wanna know that.