But now something has happened. Something terrible. One of the best-selling artists of all time, Garth Brooks, has just signed a deal with Wal-Mart making them the exclusive outlet for his albums. For the slower students in the class, that means the only place Garth�s fans can buy his music is at the Dark Overlord of the consortium to fuck consumers everywhere, Wal-Mart. And as we all know, the Evil leader of consumer rapists does NOT care about what people really want. They drive competing retailers out of business with false promises of bringing lower prices and better values to communities, and when they succeed in their dastardly plan and we all realize how badly we have been ass-raped, it�s too late. Wal-Mart is now the ultimate power in the retailing universe, and they aren�t afraid to use it. (Bonus points to anyone who recognizes where that came from.)
The worst part of this is Wal-Mart�s tendency to only order something once, and when it sells out, it�s gone. But they only do this with shit that people actually WANT. Unfiltered septic tank drainings such as the latest Michael Moore propaganda or the �previously unreleased� incoherent ramblings of Curt Cobain and Nirvana they will always have plenty of copies of, because no one gives a flying fuck anymore. Mr. Brooks used to be a fairly popular artist. Hopefully this incredibly stupid deal won�t destroy that for him, but if it does, oh well. It�s his own damned fault for caving in to the Dark Overlord of Retail.
His fans are the ones who will get fucked the worst from this deal. Not all Wal-Marts get all the new releases that come out each week. Case in point; the T.J. Hooker box set was released two weeks ago, yet none of the Wal-Marts in my area have it in stock. There are FOUR Wal-Mart stores within approximately 15 miles of my home, yet I have to drive 40 FUCKING MILES to get to the nearest one that has this DVD in stock. What kind of shit is that?
Now that I think about it, I hope this deal DOES hurt Garth. He deserves it for making this deal. Hopefully when that happens, other artists will see what happens with these idiotic exclusivity deals, and avoid them like the plague. We all need to send Wal-Mart a big, �Fuck you!� and then maybe we can stop getting sodomized every time we want to buy something.