Luckily for me, he�s not headed towards my side of the intersection, but it�s a damned good thing the lady in the mini SUV coming the other way was paying attention too. Otherwise, she�d be a grease spot on the road right now. Because that fucker in the rig swung as wide left as he could before screeching through a 30 MPH turn that would have crushed that lady if she hadn�t thrown it into reverse in a fucking hurry. And it�s also a good thing there was no one behind her, cuz she sure as hell didn�t have time to check before backing up.
And then the fucking truck just keeps on going like nothing at all happened.
This got me thinking of all the times I have had problems with 18-wheelers, and lemme tell ya, there have been a few of them.
First there was a time a few years ago, when I was doing remodeling, when the exact same thing happened to me. Only I wasn�t quite as lucky. I was driving the company van, and sitting at an intersection waiting for the green light. All of a sudden this rig appears out of nowhere, flying around the turn trying to beat the light. This of course, is extremely dangerous when driving something as big and unwieldy as a tractor trailer. I see the fuck stain has no intention of slowing down, and also that he is about to take the front end of the van down the road with him, which I doubt he would notice. So I slam it into reverse and go flying backwards, trying to avoid death by redneck imbecile, (is that redundant?) driving several tons of speeding death. And of course I slam right into the car behind me, and the waste of skin driving the truck never even slows down. A law needs to be passed making it legal to kill these fuckers. Slowly. Painfully. While other truckers watch.
Lucky for me the lady understood what had happened, and she was just as mad at the trailer-trash as I was. And there was no damage to her car, so she didn�t make a fuss over it. Although we should have gone together and hunted down that genetic defective driving the rig and disemboweled him in front of his family.
Another time, more years ago than I care to try and count, I had just bought a new car. In fact, it was the first brand-new car I ever owned. After a collection of junkers, it was kind of exciting. I hadn�t even had it a month when rolling disaster struck.
I was on my way to a job interview, of all things. I had taken the expressway there, and had exited almost a mile before my destination. A mile of a 30 MPH speed limit. I saw the building up on my right, so I signaled, changed lanes, and then about 15 seconds later, as I was turning into the parking lot, I got plowed into by a tractor trailer STILL doing 60 a fucking MILE after exiting the expressway! My fianc� at the time was in the car, and her head shattered the passenger window. Two people immediately came up and said they saw the whole thing, and the cops were on the way.
So when constable ass-hat shows up, I�m still trying to make sure my fianc� is okay. Seemed like a reasonable thing to me, but Captain Clueless seemed pretty put out that I was more interested in making sure the chick I was supposed to marry in two months wasn�t about to die than I was in going over what happened with his lame ass. So he wandered off to talk to the truck driver.
In light of everything that happened afterwards, I might have been better off if she HAD hit that window a little harder, but that�s a different column.
After about 20 minutes of talking and laughing with the truck-driving goon, Commissioner Cocksmoker returns with that �I have cheez-wiz for brains� look that they all seem so good at, and hands ME a ticket! I ask him what the hell the ticket is for, and why he only wants to hear one side of the story, but he ignores that part and tells me I�m getting a ticket for turning from the center lane. This despite my two witnesses who say different, and the angle of the car which says it was IMPOSSIBLE to be turning from the center lane. But Mayor Dimwit doesn�t want to hear it, so I end up dragging one of these witnesses to court, just to see the motherfucker not show up, and the ticket thrown out. BOTH of these idiots need to be killed, preferably BEFORE they can breed.
There are countless more examples I could give, and I�m sure everyone reading this can give yet MORE examples. But the bottom line is these fucking things are dangerous. And it�s not because of the vehicles themselves, but because of the single-digit IQ cretins driving them.
First of all, it should be required that these assholes actually learn HOW to drive, which I don�t think is necessary currently. Secondly, they should be held accountable for any accident they cause, whether they are involved in it or not. Because I know there are plenty of times these cockstains cause an accident and just keep on driving because it didn�t physically affect them. I�ve seen it happen twice, read about a couple other incidents, and that�s just around here. I find it easy to believe that it happens elsewhere all the time, and these gene pool skimmings need to be held responsible for it.
And those �How�s my Driving?� stickers mean exactly shit. I called one of those numbers once, and y�know what happened? Nothing. And if something had happened, I would have known about it, because it was my ex father-in-law that I called it on. That�s right George, IT WAS ME YOU DRUNKEN PIECE OF SHIT! I was also the one who got you the speeding ticket, and filed the drunken driving report on your worthless hide. I fucking warned you not to get drunk every night and pass out in my living room you fuck. How�s the liver doing now, ya prick?
Ahem. So where was I? Right. It should be legal to kill these trouser stains any time they inconvenience me. Because if someone is going to be driving 20 tons of rolling death, they really ought to have more than a two-week course at the local Adult Continuing Education Center under their belt before they do it. But since they can get a job after completing their correspondence course in truck-driving, I should be allowed to kill them after completing MY correspondence course in being an assassin for hire.
It just seems fair to me.